


Heaven's a Heartbreak Away

by The_Marron



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A Bit of Fluff, A lot of "I have no idea how dancing works but it looks pretty", Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, BokuKuro broship ftw, Bokuto imprints like a duckling apparently, Dancing show, Homophobia, M/M, Pro Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou, Pro Volleyball Player Kuroo Tetsurou, Television, a bit of angst, a bit of crack, dancer akaashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2019-12-25 06:31:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 47,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18255674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Marron/pseuds/The_Marron
Summary: It was Kuroo’s fault.It was nothing new in Bokuto’s life, really, because most of the stupid, life-threatening and awesome things that happened to him were in some degree Kuroo’s fault, but still, this was definitely Kuroo’s fault.Or, Bokuto gets roped into a dancing show and does not fall for his partner. He does fall for somebody else, though.





	1. Dance Me Till the End of Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is me, arriving in the fandom 5 years late without a Starbucks, but with a lot of love for BokuAka. 
> 
> Title comes from 'Let Me Love You' by DJ Snake and Justin Bieber, because I have no shame and today is not the day we stop naming our fics after lyrics.

**Another Edition of Dance Dance Dance!**

_Japan’s favourite Ace, Bokuto Koutaro joins the contestant pool!_

_Read more_

**Comments (89)**

**Nadeshiko56:** _Oh my, this is awesome!!!  He would Ace it (ha)!_

**VolleyTrolley:** _I don’t know, actresses and signers are kinda at the advantage, he stands no chance : <_

**NoyaFTW _:_** _Lol, Nishinoya would rock at this, too bad he's out._

**JustDance4Ever:** _He’s going to dance with Kokomi-chan!!!! This is dream came true, I ship it!!! #OTP_

_*_

It was Kuroo’s fault.

It was nothing new in Bokuto’s life, really, because most of the stupid, life-threatening and awesome things that happened to him were in some degree Kuroo’s fault, but still, this was definitely Kuroo’s fault.

Bokuto was a professional volleyball player, on his way to the Olympics. He should be training, giving interviews and enjoying his downtime while he could, but instead of that he was here. In the dancing studio. Training. For a dancing show. Like it was a normal thing to do.

It seemed like a good idea at the time – _We are celebrities, Bo, money and fame are waiting for us!_ _It would be awesome_ , Kuroo had said when Bokuto told him about the offer from the TV station. Kuroo himself got one much earlier, thanks to his friendship with Kenma, who was one of the technicians on the set of the new edition of the show. Kuroo had always been weak when it came to Kenma, so it wasn’t any surprise that Kuroo agreed to make a fool of himself on national TV. But apparently he decided that he wouldn’t be in this hell alone. And Bokuto allowed himself to be convinced.

He was awesome, it made sense that he would be great at dancing! Not to mention the fact that the idea of being praised on a national TV seemed really appealing. So he called back the agent and told him that yes, Bokuto Koutarou, aged 24, the ace of Japan volleyball team would take part in _Dance Dance Dance_ show and show that mangy cat which one of them was more impressive both in volleyball and in life.

He regretted it deeply.

He had nothing against his partner, an idol named Kokomi-chan, who tried her best to work with him, even though she seemed to be exhausted with the amount of mistakes he was making.  She was alright, it was Bokuto who was the problem. All of these moves, they were unnatural, there was nothing instinctual about them, nothing easy. Just learning by heart complicated sequences and hoping that his body would keep up.

It was their third day of training now before the first episode and Bokuto was ready to quit. Not that he could, breaking the contract would cost him a lot and he certainly couldn’t afford that, but maybe he would just wing it on Saturday?

“Bokuto, please focus!” Konoha shouted, and Bokuto was forced to put his bottle of water down and come back to the middle of the floor where Kokomi-chan was waiting for him impatiently. Konoha was a great choreographer and a very decent trainer, but despite his best attempts at teaching Bokuto anything they were making no progress.

The first notes of _Dance Me To the End of Love_ broke the silence and Bokuto turned to Kokomi, trying to compliment her movements with correct steps of his own. At least he didn’t step on her feet anymore. Small mercies, really.

“And one, two, three, and one two… Bokuto, wrong movement, now is the turn!” Shit. Next to him, Kokomi-chan sighed heavily, but kept quiet. For an idol she was pretty reasonable and maybe if Bokuto wasn’t so horrendous at dancing, their relationship might have been more cordial. As it was right now, she tolerated him as well as she could, using her last reserves of patience. She didn’t say anything, but Bokuto was good at seeing when he annoyed people too much.

“Maybe let’s finish for today and start from the top tomorrow morning? I think it will go better with a fresh mind!” Konoha said cheerfully and Kokomi replied with a half-hearted nod.  The camera-man sighed. Even he looked bummed to say the least, even though bad rehearsals would make quality TV, probably.

Bokuto didn’t know and really didn’t care.

He could feel the wave of resignation take over him and he really doubted he would be here tomorrow morning. He was the worst. How could he mess up so many things? How could he call himself an ace, how could he dream of the Olympics, when he was clearly incapable of following instructions for two minutes?

Maybe he should apologize to Kokomi and ask somebody from the team to sub for him. But Kuroo and Oikawa were both already on the show, as a pair, which was even more hilarious and Nishinoya couldn’t take part because of his injury. Which was a shame, because he would be much better at this whole dancing thing and while he waltzed and jived around, Bokuto would look for another job to pay back the studio for breaking his contract.

Yes, that was the best what he could do, that would be fair and…

“Excuse me, Bokuto-san?” He was sure he was alone, so the sound of an unfamiliar voice right behind him made him jump. Thankfully he hadn’t hit the person who approached him, although he should possibly attribute it to the person’s good reflexes rather than to his own gracefulness.

“Sorry, I thought everyone had left and…!” He started, turning towards the stranger and he stopped in the middle of the sentence, too lost in the dark eyes in front of him. He had never seen this person before, he was sure of it. He would remember a face like that.

The stranger was beautiful in the distant way that models were, he had black hair and one of the darkest eyes Bokuto has ever seen. Were they black? Grey? No..

“Who are you?” He finally managed, well-aware that he was just standing there, staring like a creep.

“Akaashi Keiji. One of the back-up dancers.” That made sense. He was dressed in black leggings and a black tank top, similar to the ones Konoha wore. But a back-up dancer?

“I haven’t met the back-up dancers yet, I didn’t know there were any, but you are here, so there must be dancers, and oh my god, now I can disappoint even more people, I’m sorry your hard work is going to go to waste because of me and…” His mind was in full-panic mode, not only Akaashi was pretty and nice, he would be also another person to suffer through Bokuto’s incompetence. Akaashi was going to hate him!

“Bokuto-san.” His tone was almost devoid of emotion, but Bokuto found himself listening intently. “We will be present from tomorrow’s rehearsal, so it is no wonder you didn’t know we were going to be there.  I came here to see what we are working with.”

“Oh. So you know you should be running in the opposite direction right now.” Bokuto replies, his mood dropping even further.

“Not necessarily.” And with that Akaashi turned on his feet and moved towards the radio. But that didn’t make any sense…

“What do you mean?” Bokuto bellowed behind him, almost wincing at the volume of his own voice.

Akaashi turned towards him, unperturbed.

“You do know the steps, Bokuto-san. In fact, you know them too well, so instead of feeling the music and letting your partner join you, you rush through the motions you were so desperate to remember.” And with that, he went back to the radio, turning it on and skipping through the tracks.

Bokuto blinked.

“I don’t suck? Really?”

Akashi shot him a look that could be taken as amused, even though his lips remained a thin line.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. You are still painful to watch and Kokomi-san will probably start drinking to get rid of the frustration, but this is hardly a problem that cannot be fixed.” Akaashi replied, his tone deadpan, but Bokuto would bet that the dancer was keeping himself from smiling. Then the words hit him.

“That was mean. Can you be mean to me?” Bokuto pouted and Akaashi got up from his crouch in front of the radio.

“I’ve never thought about it, but probably not. Oh well, I was going to help you with your routine, but if you want to report me to the superiors instead…”

“No! Please, help me! You are my only hope!” If Akaashi recognized the quote, he didn’t comment on it.

Instead, he gestured Bokuto to move to the middle of the dancefloor.

“What’s the story?”

Bokuto blinked. What? Was he not listening? Did he miss something? What story? Was he asking about Bokuto’s life story? Should he start from the beginning? From high school? Why would he do that?

“What do you mean?” Bokuto finally asked, not bothering to hide his confusion.

Akaashi sighed.

“Every dance routine is not only a performance of skill, it is art. It can tell a story, either its own, or complementary to the lyrics of the song. So, what is the story in Cohen?”

Bokuto was rather mediocre with English, but he now recalled that Konoha did mention something about the lyrics.

“Something about being in love?” He risked and Akaashi gave him a flat stare.

“How astute. Your other guess was peace?”

“Errr… Maybe?” Ok, so apparently not only he should learn how to dance in a week, he should also learn English. Great.

Akashi took a step towards him and now they were standing face to face, only centimeters apart.

“This is a story of two lovers who are passionate about each other but they now that their love must one day fade away. They want to dance until it happens, enjoying their love in its temporality. It’s a celebration of love, but it is also embracing the tragedy of its inevitable end.”

“Oh.”

“You have to feel it, Bokuto-san. You have to be that man, so in love with your partner that you are practically overwhelmed, but solemn enough so that the audience would now that it has to end.”

It sounded complicated. Who made songs so depressing?

The music started playing and he immediately moved to his starting position, not really surprised that Akaashi knew Kokomi’s starting place. He was a professional after all.

Bokuto waited for his cue, stress filling his veins, the correct steps flooding his brain, now two steps forward then one to the side, then, then… A strong grip on his hand made him look up. Akaashi’s gaze was so intense that Bokuto forgot about his nerves, too fascinated with what was hiding behind the dancer’s stare.

Bokuto’s hands found their way to Akaashi’s waist and they were dancing, oh, they were dancing for the first time in three days! But all of this could be broken in just seconds, just one bad move and the spell would be gone.

“Listen to the music, not to yourself, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi’s voice was gentle, yet authoritative. So all Bokuto could do, was listen.

_Show me slowly what I only know the limits of_

_Dance me to the end of love_

He didn’t really get the words, aside from the chorus line ‘Dance me To the End of Love’, but for the first time he actually heard the emotion the melody carried. Longing, loss, passion.  It was all there.

And those burning eyes…

He turned and pulled Akaashi forwards, so that the dancer would lean on him, just like Konoha taught him and suddenly they were too close.

 The music stopped and Bokuto realized that their ending was perfect. Bokuto was standing still, as if frozen in time while tugging Akaashi towards him, with Akaashi leaning on him with his upper body, but with his feet firmly facing the other way, as if ready to leave. This was what Konoha wanted the whole time. This was poetic. 

“This was amazing!” Bokuto shouted and the spell was gone, Akaashi quickly withdrew from his embrace, and went to switch off the radio.

“Holy shit, we can do it!” He exclaimed, feeling the rush of doing something right for the first time.

“It was alright, Bokuto-san, but let’s not get too triumphant. You have still missed a few steps and your facial expression could use a little work. Childlike wonder is hardly what this song is about. And, of course you need to dance this routine with Kokomi-san, not me.” Bokuto groaned.

“Have you ever heard about positive feedback?”

“I’ll look into it, is that a new invention?” It took Bokuto a second to realize that he had been sassed.

“I’m pretty sure you can’t really be mean to me. I’m a national treasure!”

Akaashi gave him a bored look and restarted the track.

“You will be, if you win gold. Right now you are just one of many pretenders. From the top.”

Bokuto followed him without arguing.

He still didn’t feel that great, twirling and doing strange gestures with his hands, but at least there was a flow. Akaashi’s presence was reassuring and even if Bokuto screwed up, Akaashi didn’t mention it and just did his thing.

At the end of the evening, tired and sick of listening to Cohen’s raspy voice, Bokuto was sure he had made some progress. When he asked Akaashi about that, he received a nod of acknowledgment and that meant a lot.

“Thank you, for staying with me!”

“Don’t mention it, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi replied politely as they left the studio. Somehow Akaashi had the keys to the place and Bokuto waited for him to close the building to continue their post-training talk. Which mostly consisted of Bokuto being excited about the things they did, but Akaashi seemed to tolerate his chatter.

“And the second time I was aware I made a wrong step, but I went on and it got better, don’t you think?”

“I think you dancing from the beginning to the end of the song without throwing everything and running away is a wonder, Bokuto-san, so yes, there is progress.”

“Rude.”

They walked together for a while, Bokuto hell-bent on walking Akaashi to his bus stop and their walk was mostly filled with Bokuto telling Akaashi about his volleyball team. Akaashi listened and didn’t even look annoyed.

When his bus appeared on the horizon, Akaashi turned to Bokuto, his expression very serious.

“Bokuto-san. Tomorrow you will dance with Kokomi-san. Try to look at her the way you looked at me today as we danced and you will be alright.”

And with that, Akaashi waved him goodbye and left Bokuto alone at the bus stop.

How was he looking at Akaashi the whole night?

*

When he finally got home the first thing Kuroo did was giving him a can of beer.

“Hello to you to. What’s that for?”

“To help you unwind after the practice… “ Here, Kuroo stopped, casting a suspicious glance at Bokuto, busy with taking off his shoes.”… although now that I look at you, you don’t seem as down as you were yesterday. Did something good happen? Was Kokomi-chan so moved with your pathetic attempts at dancing that she stayed behind for a private session?”

Bokuto raised his head in shock. Kuroo was amazingly perceptive when he wanted to be, but sometimes he was on the mind-reader level with how sharp his intuition was.

“No way! You had a romantic evening with Kokomi-chan?! You go, Bo!” And now Kuroo was hitting his back in what he probably thought was congratulatory manner. To Bokuto’s sore muscles, it was more of a torture.

“Not exactly.” He managed, moving to their living room with the beer unopened.

“Oho?”

They both sat down on their ratty couch and Bokuto could finally catch up with his own thoughts. What exactly happened that evening?

“I stayed up late to practice, like you said. But I didn’t practice with Kokomi-chan.”

“Oh? Some cute back-up dancer took pity on you?”

“Not cute. Beautiful.” It felt strange to tell everything to Kuroo, it was as this whole evening happened to somebody else and Bokuto was now sure why. Akaashi’s words were still on his mind and no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t understand.

“And then he told me to look at Kokomi the way I looked at him the whole evening and he was gone. Like some kind of a dancing fairy godmother.” Bokuto finished and started to mess up his hair in frustration.

“Maybe he was trying to tell you that you’ve been ogling him too much?”

“That I would have understood, I am not a complete moron!” He ignored Kuroo’s doubtful murmuring, and sank further into the couch.”Yeah, he was pretty, but I wasn’t thinking about that the whole time we’ve been dancing together.”

“What were you thinking about, then?”

“The story in the song. The steps, how much easier it was to dance with him than with Kokomi. And that’s it. Hardly anything I should get a restraining order for.”

Kuroo nodded, his grin growing amused.

“Well, maybe he simply wanted you to look at her like she is an equal partner whom you trust?”

“Yeah, maybe…”

He went to sleep feeling uneasy and without any answers. Maybe he would ask Akaashi tomorrow.

He dreamt of a burning violin and sadness beyond words. Falling asleep he realized he forgot to ask Kuroo about his own training.

*

His next training session for the _Dance Dance Dance_ was scheduled for the morning because of the evening volleyball training. Even though the whole team encouraged Bokuto to enter the competition, it didn’t mean that he could just stop training altogether. And frankly, Bokuto couldn’t function without being able to play, just for a little while, therefore the Thursday rehearsal took part in the morning and was scheduled to end at noon, so that Bokuto could rest between one activity and the other.

It seemed reasonable, until Bokuto realized that to be in the studio on time, he had to leave his house at 6. Considering the late hour he came back home, it was a wonder he even heard his alarm clock.  He heard Kuroo swear from the other room and decided to get himself ready as quietly as possible. Aggravating Kuroo was fun and all, but not in the morning. Unless somebody had a death wish.  Kuroo’s training began at 10, possibly because he was less problematic than Bokuto and could actually move his feet when necessary. Not that Bokuto was bitter, or anything.

To his great surprise, he managed to arrive ten minutes before 8 o'clock, which earned him Konoha’s grateful smile. Kokomi joined them not long after and as always, she mumbled a polite greeting in Bokuto’s direction.

_**Try to look at her the way you looked at me today as we danced and you will be alright.** _

“Kokomi-chan, may I talk with you for a minute?”The idol raised her eyebrows in surprise, but nodded nonetheless. Konoha told them that they had to make it quick and entered the studio without them .

“What do you need, Bokuto-san?” Kokomi-chan asked, playing with her pink-dyed hair. Bokuto didn’t know if she was trying to be cute, or if she was just nervous, but he decided to press on.

“I’m sorry I’ve been a failure of a partner lately, I had trouble grasping the idea behind the exercise, but I think I get it now.  So I need you to trust me that I’ll do better. “ He said, trying to channel his determination through his gaze alone. Kokomi’s face lit up.

“That’s… That’s great to hear, Bokuto-san!” She replied, a genuine smile on her face. “I was sure you didn’t like me and that you wanted to tell me that it was my fault I was messing up the steps or something…” She started to ramble and Bokuto was filled with a wave of fondness for the girl. He put her through so much anguish, it seemed, and she managed to stay positive. Maybe they had the markings of a great team after all.

They entered the rehearsal room hand in hand, tentative smiles on their faces. They could do this!

Akaashi would be proud!

Except… Bokuto looked around the room. Aside from Konoha and the ever-present camera-man who was shooting their training montage, they were still the only ones here. Akaashi or any other dancer was nowhere to be found.

They went through the warm up exercises without further ado and moved on their positions.

Kokomi looked up at him, hopeful.

He would not screw this up. If he could dance with Akaashi, he could dance with a cute idol in front of him!

The now all-too familiar melody started to play and Bokuto was suddenly transported back to the last evening, grey eyes looking at him intensely and for a while, he felt _longing_. 

And then they began to move.

It was nothing like dancing with Akaashi.

But it was something.

Whenever he missed a step, Bokuto tried to remember the feeling of wonder he felt yesterday, to grasp that atmosphere, that moment and press on.

And he did.

He spun, he gestured, he looked at Kokomi, trying to imagine he was looking at somebody else.

**_Try to look at her the way you looked at me today…_ **

How was he looking at Kokomi?

How had he been looking at Akaashi?

The song ended and Bokuto realized that once again, he managed to get into the correct position, tugging his partner towards him. But this time, his partner stumbled and landed in his chest and it was a bit wrong. It wasn’t what the song was about, and Bokuto found himself a bit angry at both of them that they have messed up the meaning.

Then, he heard the applause. It was Konoha.

“Wow, that is some progress, let me tell you!” The trainer shouted, excited.” You need to watch your steps, Bokuto, sometimes you miss them, and Kokomi-chan, you need to straighten your back more, and remember that in the last part you need to move away from him, not towards him, but… It was great, you guys!” He finished and Bokuto grinned at him, melting at the praise.

“How did you do it?” Kokomi asked him, a little awed. He looked down at her.

 “I am awesome, what can I say!”

She smiled, but said nothing.

They went through the routine three more times and each time Konoha was more satisfied with their performance. It wasn’t perfect by all means, but they had something to work with. Finally.

“Alright, a little break now!” Konoha announced and Bokuto gratefully collapsed on the floor with a loud groan. From the side he could hear Kokomi stifling her chuckle and the camera-man moved closer to get a close up of Bokuto’s exhausted face.

“Kuroo, if you are watching this, this is your fault and you are not getting anything after my death.” Bokuto said into the camera, and the man behind it gave him a thumbs up.

“Alright, that’s enough shooting for today, Ennoshita. The dancers are coming in few minutes and they have a contract that prevents you from shooting them.” Konoha said and the man with the camera, Ennoshita, sighed.

“Well, the boss is ruthless as ever. One day I’m going to film him doing something stupid and then I will die happy.” He said and Bokuto wanted to ask about that particular dream, but then his mind remembered Konoha’s words. “The dancers are coming?”

“Yes, You won’t be waltzing around the empty stage. The setting we go for is a fancy ball in Vienna, or something like that, so we would need more people.” Konoha explained and Bokuto got up, suddenly filled with energy. Akaashi was coming! He was coming and he would be swept of his feet with the progress had made!

“You seem really excited, Bokuto-san.” He hadn’t even noticed when Kokomi got near him.

“Well, you asked me why I got good overnight, right?” She nodded. “Well, of course, I’m awesome, but aside from that, I had a great teacher. And he is coming here!”

“It’s nice to see you energetic about dancing for once, Bokuto-san.” She told him and moved away to talk to Ennoshita.

Bokuto finally made his way to the bottle of water and had to stop himself from downing it all in one go. It was like after a great practice, sweat dripping off him, muscles screaming in protest, but his heart was beating hard and his blood was shimmering with excitement.

The door opened and a little crowd of people dressed in black trickled in. They looked relaxed, professional and generally nice, but Bokuto was busy looking for one specific dancer. He had to be somewhere…

“AKAAASHII!” He bellowed as the man finally entered the room, closing the door behind him. He looked just as pretty as yesterday, his short black hair unruly and his gaze calm as ever. It was good to know that Bokuto hadn’t dreamt him up. 

The dancer seemed a bit taken aback by Bokuto’s greeting, but he did nod his head at the volleyball-player.

“Oh, I wasn’t aware you know each other.” Konoha said, looking between the two of them in disbelief. The rest of the dancers was staring at them as well and Bokuto started to wonder if maybe he was supposed to keep his acquaintance with Akaashi a secret.

“We have talked.” Akaashi replied and moved to stand next to a pretty woman with brown hair, not bothering to walk up to Bokuto.

That hurt.

But there had to be a reason for Akaashi’s cold treatment and Bokuto was determined to find out what it was. He was sure the guy didn’t hate him, who would spend their free time teaching a person they despised?

Maybe he was embarrassed of Bokuto? Maybe he regretted his good deed yesterday, or maybe he was uncomfortable because of the way Bokuto supposedly looked at him? What was wrong?

“From the top!” Konoha shouted and Bokuto was barely aware of his own body moving to the correct spot.

The room seemed too crowded with the pairs around them and Bokuto felt truly nervous that he was going to bump into someone, bump into Akaashi, cause an accident and then everything would be over.

The music started.

It went… well.

Better than before, maybe because Bokuto really wanted Akaashi to see that they weren’t wasting their time yesterday. Or maybe he really wanted the praise, He didn’t know. But it was great.

Kokomi was smiling and the dancers twirled around them with no collision whatsoever. From the corner of his eye, Bokuto noticed Akashi dancing with the brown-haired girl from before.

They looked beautiful.

Akaashi was looking straight at her, as if she was the only person that mattered and that hurt a bit, because just yesterday the same intense gaze was directed at Bokuto. The girl was looking at Akaashi with adoration and Bokuto started to wonder if that was what he looked like yesterday.

“Bokuto-san, please, stay with me.” Kokomi whispered and Bokuto turned his gaze at her. She looked a bit upset, so he smiled at her as genuinely as he could. Kokomi was his partner, not Akaashi.

They finished and Kokomi managed get into the position they rehearsed.

It was a good run, they did well.

Konoha was praising them and Kokomi was smiling, but Bokuto’s eyes strayed to the black-haired dancer who was now drinking water in the corner.

A new wave of determination entered Bokuto. He was going to be praised, dammit! And what did Akaashi think, that he could just act like he didn’t know Bokuto at all? Not today, Gadget, not today.

“Heey, Akaashi!” He started, making his way to the dancer in question. The man simply raised his eyebrows.” Did you see that! We got significantly better!”

“Indeed, Bokuto-san, very impressive.” That was… Easy?  And Akaashi even sounded genuine, not at all as if he was trying to appease him.

“Why didn’t you tell me that, then? Why do you ignore me today?” Bokuto was often told that he was too blunt and couldn’t read the mood, but he truly wanted to know.

Akaashi put down his bottle, graceful  as ever.

“I wasn’t aware you would like to acknowledge our meeting yesterday, to be honest.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Akaashi’s lips formed a smirk.

“National treasures rarely want everyone to know that some nobody helped them.”

Bokuto groaned.

“Really? That’s why? That’s stupid, of course I will acknowledge everything you’ve done for me, why shouldn’t I? You are awesome and you taught me so well that this rehearsal was the best we’ve ever had!”

A small smile made its way on Akaashi’s lips and Bokuto could feel his heart skip a beat.

“Glad you think so, Bokuto-san. Thank you for your kind words. And now, if you could return to your partner? We need to finish the rehearsal soon because of your practice and Kokomi-san still needs to dance with us her solo part.”

“Yeah, alright.” If he was a bit disappointed that Akaashi wasn’t going to stay and train with him again, he didn’t show it.

*

“Woah, mate. Lay off the poor man!”Kuroo told him as they were going through their warm up exercises. The afternoon nap did nothing to Bokuto’s exhaustion, so the practice would probably be a disaster. So who could blame Bokuto for trying to think about something relaxing and sharing his thoughts with his best friend?

“He wasn’t really sad that I approached him, he seemed pleasantly surprised!”

“Well, maybe, but you are going to cause a rift in your team up if you continue.” Kuroo said, his tone suspiciously serious.

“What do you mean?”

“Your partner is Kokomi-chan. If you keep on ignoring her for a back-up dancer, she will not be your greatest fan. And if I remember correctly, the judges also pay attention to the chemistry between the partners. Maybe that’s why Akaashi is keeping you at arm’s length.”

"Yeah, maybe."

But that wasn’t fair, to be honest. Kokomi was nice, but she never went out of her way to do something about her relationship with him. Akaashi did. So it was obvious that Bokuto would be more drawn to Akaashi, wasn't it? He paid attention to Bokuto, and didn’t expect him to simply carter to his whims.

Even so, Kuroo’s words stuck with him until the end of the practice.

*

Saturday came much faster than he expected.

Sure, the show would be broadcast on Sunday, so he wouldn’t have to deal with his failure immediately, but the nerves were still present.

Right now, in the studio, in costumes and everything, it seemed too real.

He was in a dark suit with some gold flower in the lapel and Kokomi was next to him, her red dress strangely complementing her pink hair. They were both nervous but for some reason, they couldn’t find solace in each other’s company.

The rest of the contestants were sitting around the so-called green room, looking as put-off as Bokuto felt. Even Kuroo looked nervous and instead of talking to Oikawa, his partner, he was pestering Kenma, who was in turn trying to do his job. Bokuto felt a great need to call Kuroo a hypocrite, because out of the two of them one was ignoring their partner and it wasn’t Bokuto.

Then again, Oikawa was busy with taking selfies and sending them in abundance to someone who was probably Iwaizumi, judging from the lack of replies. Only Iwaizumi was capable of ignoring Oikawa for long periods of time.

“We can do it, can’t we?” Came a whisper and Bokuto turned to Kokomi.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t we?”

“I don’t know, I have just seen the jury…Kiyoko-sama is there!” Bokuto paused at the awe in Kokomi’s voice. Shimizu Kiyoko was a former-athlete turned supermodel and she was definitely a picture of international success for young girls. Still, with a steady fanbase, Kokomi shouldn’t be so star-struck. Maybe she was truly similar to Bokuto in regards of self-esteem.

“Aside from Shimizu, who else is going to watch us?” He should have asked before, but somehow the grading part of the competition was less stressful than the trainings.

“Well, some professional dancer, Sugawara, I think? And the singer, Terushima.” Kokomi replied and Bokuto simply nodded. He had heard the names, but nothing more. He didn’t know what to expect.

He really wanted to talk to Akaashi now, but he was nowhere to be seen. Well, he was a back-up dancer, not a contestant, but still, it would be nice to talk to him, just for a while. Kuroo had Kenma, Oikawa had his phone, Bokuto wanted someone to keep him company too!

Throughout their trainings Akaashi talked to him sporadically and agreed to stay after the Friday training to go over the routine with Bokuto again, but it wasn’t enough. Maybe, if he was less stressed Bokuto would try to understand, why he cared for Akaashi’s opinion so much and why he longed to dance with him, but he simply didn’t have the time now.

The theme of the show started to play and two hosts jumped on the stage.

“Good evening everybody! “ Said Yachi, the petite blonde who seemed to be more nervous than everyone else put together.

“She is a newbie here, but she is adorable, so they chose her.” Kokomi told him and Bokuto thanked her for the info.

Yachi’s partner, Tsukishima was normally a sports commentator, but his dry and sometimes cruel remarks made him insanely popular with the youngsters. It looked as if instead of hosting a dance competition, the two were to conduct interrogation, with Yachi being the good cop and Tsukishima – the bad one.

They kept on talking to each other and sharing the history of the show with the viewers in the studio and Bokuto tuned it out. According to the info he was given, they would be the third ones to go, right after Kuroo and Oikawa.  

The first pair was some actress with her boyfriend and Bokuto barely paid any attention to them, their choreography done to some American upbeat song. They got a round of applause and Bokuto really wanted to hear the judges, but in that moment he spotted Akaashi talking to Kenma.

He made a move to greet him, but Akaashi stopped him with a gesture. Then, he motioned at the cameras. They were being recorded. Bokuto knew that, was Akaashi ashamed of him? Was he…

Then, he remembered Kuroo’s words. Not only steps, but also chemistry between the partners was being judged. He couldn’t abandon Kokomi before their first dance.

This was a show.

Not only dancing, but everything in-between.

Damn it.

“And now, our volleyball duo, Kuroo Tetsurou and Oikawa Tooru! Let’s see how they prepared for today!” Yachi announced and a big screen showed the material from their trainings.

 _I am going to break your legs and dance alone, Kuroo, do not test me,_ hissed Oikawa from the screen, his face full of murderous intent, as the camera moved from him to Kuroo, who was spinning around with their trainer in something that looked like a killer-polka. How Kuroo of him, Bokuto couldn’t help but laugh.

Then, the scene changed and the two of them were dancing to some musical tune and Kuroo had a manic grin on his face, while Oikawa had his usual resting bitch-face. But they moved alright.

 _You need to be more in synch_ , their trainer said, a blonde woman with easy-going smile on her face.  The camera moved to Oikawa and Kuroo glaring daggers at each other.

Then, Oikawa was the only one in the shot.  _Dear team, if you are watching this, I’m going to kill him and hide the body, you should start looking for a new middle blocker. I will make it look like an accident, I promise,_ Oikawa stage-whispered into the camera and Kuroo’s laugh could be heard off-screen.

Then, the screen was full of Kuroo. _This is really no competition, but Bokuto – we rock. So, you know, no hard feelings when we wipe the floor with you, right?_ Bokuto barked out a laugh, but Kokomi’s expression changed into a frown.

“Is he really that good?”

“No. He simply likes to pick a fight with me.” She simply nodded.

The training montage ended and the audience started applauding.

“Good luck!” Bokuto called after Oikawa and Kuroo, who simply waved at him.

The set changed and dancers took up the stage. It looked like some kind of a mechanic workshop and only now Bokuto noticed that both Oikawa and Kuroo were wearing leather jackets and so were the back-up dancers.

The music started to play and at first Bokuto couldn’t recognize the music, so he simply concentrated on his friends’ dancing. They looked like they were having fun. They were both smiling as they moved and postured around. Kuroo seemed to be in his element, while Oikawa was simply charming everything in his general vicinity. So, everything was normal.

Only when a white car arrived at the stage and everyone jumped on it to dance, Bokuto remembered that he had seen this musical before, though still had no idea what it was called. He looked at the back-up dancers, but it seemed that there was a different team assigned to Kuroo and Oikawa, because Akaashi wasn’t there.

The music stopped and Oikawa and Kuroo strutted to the middle of the stage to wait for the jury’s verdict.

Terushima, the singer, was first.

“I think you two have wonderful energy! The performance, the moves, I would totally like to see you on the stage performing _Grease_ , although maybe I wouldn’t take my girlfriend to see you, I’d like to keep her, you know.” The audience laughed and Kuroo aimed his fingers at Terushima, mimicking shooting. Finger-guns, really. Kuroo was having way too much fun. Terushima laughed and gave them 9 points. Not bad. Bokuto cheered with the rest of the audience.

Next was Shimizu.

“I think both of you did a remarkable job, although I need to praise Oikawa-san. Your professionalism really came through your performance, even if you missed a step, you simply moved to the next one, without losing the flow. Very admirable.” She said in a calm voice and Oikawa gave her a charming smile.

“Kuroo-san, you definitely felt your character and you seemed to have fun, but you should pay more attention to your partner. You two should have the same energy, you should complete each other.” Kuroo bowed his head, as if in apology. They got an 8 from Shimizu.

Sugawara smiled at them both and went into some technicalities and movements Bokuto didn’t know and frankly, didn’t even try to understand. He gave them a 7.5 and with that Kuroo and Oikawa’s score was 24.5.

“It’s high, we cannot lose in the first round.” Kokomi whispered and only now Bokuto truly noticed how truly nervous she was.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright. We got this, remember? Konoha told us we rock!” He told her and she gave him a small smile. This Bokuto was good at. Raising people’s spirit, he had been a captain after all and he knew how to motivate his team. This time his team was Kokomi.

“And now we will see if Bokuto-san can raise to the challenge or if he would be truly defeated by Kuroo-san!” Yachi said into her mic and Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

“Oh yes. That’s what we need, more volleyball players running around and flexing. Cannot wait. “ He deadpanned and Kuroo who was now entering the green room, burst into laughter.

The screen behind Yachi and Tsukishima started to show their training montage. There were some nice shots of them dancing and Bokuto recognized them as the ones from two days ago, when they were less bad at dancing.

Then, there was a shot of Kokomi tying up her hair and saying something about being so humbled by the possibility of taking part in the competition and how working with Konoha-san was a great learning experience. Girl knew how to make a good impression on the viewers, that much was clear.

The shot changed and showed Bokuto lying with his face pressed into floor and groaning something about torture. The audience laughed and Bokuto laughed with them, well-aware of how ridiculous he looked, especially in comparison with Kokomi’s material.

 _Kuroo, if you are watching this, this is your fault and you are not getting anything after my death_ , said Bokuto from the screen and a cameraman ran into the green room to get a shot of Kuroo clutching his chest in mock-hurt.

“As we can see, this is personal.” Tsukishima said, his tone flat.”Let’s see if Bokuto-san has something more to show than his pelvis.” The audience went “ooh” but Bokuto didn’t hear it, engulfed by stress.

He hardly heard the words of encouragement from the other contestants and Kuroo’s _Break a leg! Or maybe two!_

As he led Kokomi to the stage, everything left his mind, everything but the crushing feeling of responsibility. The poor girl cared so much and now Bokuto would disappoint her and then everyone would see him for the fraud that he was, he was nothing special, he could do nothing, he….

“Bokuto-san.” He knew that voice. He raised his head and saw Akaashi, right behind Kokomi’s back.

The stage crew was still changing decoration and that part wouldn’t make it to the televised version, so Bokuto allowed himself to look.

Akaashi looked too good to be real. He was dressed in a black suit with a white flower in the lapel. His partner, the brown-haired girl was dressed in black dress, just like other female dancer in the group.  That was supposed to make Kokomi stand out more in her red dress, but Bokuto truly wondered if anyone would pay them any mind if there was Akaashi and his partner on the stage next to them. He certainly wouldn’t.

“You are alright, Bokuto-san. Just treat it as another training session. Don’t look at the judges, don’t look at us. Just concentrate on your partner and feel the story.”

Bokuto simply nodded.

Akaashi turned towards his partner and Bokuto obediently turned to look at Kokomi. He had danced with her a lot and he was used to having her in his arms, but there was some kind of longing…

_Longing…_

He wanted her to be Akaashi, he realized. With Akaashi it was easier, better. It wasn’t fair to Kokomi, who was a lovely girl who put a lot of work into their dance routine, but he still wished someone else had been his partner.

The music started and with a heavy heart Bokuto allowed himself to imagine dark eyes instead of the blue-colored lenses he was gazing into.

He almost forgot about the steps, just thinking about that first night, that wonder he felt when he first danced with Akaashi, with that one person who actually helped him. He wanted to dance with him, he wanted to talk to him more. He wanted…

He wanted to look.

The last chords resonated through his ears and he shifted to the ending stance, his arms around Kokomi, tugging her towards him, but instead of looking at her, his eyes betrayed him and he looked above her shoulder.

Akaashi was frozen with his partner bent over his arm. He was beautiful.

The sound of applause brought Bokuto back from his reverie.

He looked back to Kokomi, who was smiling at him, seemingly not bothered with his change of routine. He gave her a smile of his own and as they turned to bow to the jury, he noticed that the dancers disappeared from the stage already. As if they weren't important, as if it wasn't their spotlight. It made him a bit angry.

“That was amazing!” Yachi shouted, tears in her eyes.”So moving, oh gosh, I’m so moved!”

Tsukishima remained silent, which was probably a good sign.

This time Shimizu was first.

“I must say, I am surprised. You managed to grasp the plethora of emotions in the song and your dancing managed to convey the conflicting emotions perfectly. Your choreography was really impressive.”Both Bokuto and Kokomi bowed as they received a 9 from the model.

Next was Sugawara. “I am truly impressed. Even though some of your steps could have been done better, you need to pay attention to your toes, they cannot just be there, they need to be straight at all times, but the acting... This was wonderfully done, especially on Bokuto-san’s part. The longing, the loss and hope..  And that look into the distance at the end…Truly, I’ve been enraptured.  8.5.”

Bokuto was taken aback at the praise and couldn’t stop himself from shouting “Aww yeah, I’m the best!” Which earned him a chuckle from Kokomi and a round of applause from the audience in the studio.

The last one was Terushima. “I agree with everything that was said, but I have one more advice. Kokomi-chan, you are a wonderful girl and with your stage experience you master the steps much better than your partner. But your acting could use a bit more work. Bokuto-san was truly invested in the song, emotions on his face felt so real, while yours.. They were alright, but the discrepancy was a bit glaring.” Kokomi gave him a practiced smile at that hid her hurt behind a light façade. Bokuto moved an arm on her shoulder, to show her his support. She ignored him.  Finally Terushima gave them an 8.

“So if my math is correct and it usually is, this heart-wrenching performance has raked 25.5 points.” Tsukishima said and the audience cheered. Bokuto raised both of his hands in triumph and shouted aloud, which seemed to cheer Kokomi up.

They entered the green room and were welcomed with shouts and cheers and Kokomi finally relaxed and Bokuto was being congratulated by people he didn’t really know, but it felt awesome anyway and… And there was one person missing.

When he looked around, he noticed Kuroo who was standing on the side, a cold, calculating-gaze fixed on Bokuto.

He looked angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so this is based on the show Dance Dance Dance, as you can probably guess, some of the videos are available on youtube and the main idea is that the contestants are dancing in pairs and both cannot be professionals. Why is Bokuto paired up with an idol instead of Kuroo? That is for me to know and for you to find out in the next chapters.
> 
> As for the interpretation of Cohen, I know that usually the interpretation of this song is rather moving and touching and is about endless, old love, but I figured you can also interpret the words in this way and decided to go with it because I like my characters to suffer a bit. Oh well.
> 
> Tell me what you think!


	2. Uptown Funk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so I am pretty surprised that I got any kudos and comments, because this fandom has been dead for a while and unfinished works are hardly trustworthy, so thank you so much for reading and taking your time to leave a comment or a kudos, it is very motivating!

**Bokuto Koutarou & Kokomi-chan – Dance Me To The End of Love – Dance Dance Dance Official Video**

**Comments (104)**

**Keias34:** ARGH THIS WAS PERFECT!!! I CAN’T EVEN

 **BokutoGo:** Hell yeah, they should’ve won the episode! Are the judges blind????

 **DancingThroughLife:** I don’t know, they were good, but not perfect, so third place works…

 **Koko-chan5Ever** : Guys, this is the beginning of a new power-couple, I tell you!

 **SadButTrue:** is it me, or was bokuto staring at one of the dancers?

*

“This, this is the problem!” Kuroo shouted, pointing at the youtube comment written by someone called _SadButTrue_.

“What, the fact that this person doesn’t believe in capital letters?” Bokuto wasn’t stupid, but he was irritated and simply wanted to be difficult. Kuroo was his best friend, it was his job to tolerate Bokuto at his worst.

“No, you idiot. Look at how many responses this comment spawned!”

“This is just a comment, Kuroo.” Bokuto was aware of what Kuroo truly wanted to say, but frankly, Bokuto couldn’t be bothered at the moment. He had been miserable because of this show before meeting Akaashi and now that he suddenly had something to look forward to during the practices, Kuroo decided to go full mother-hen on him and tell him to keep away.

“Yes, it’s just a comment, but if it gets popular enough it can cause trouble. Both for you and Akaashi.”

That was a low blow.

“I only looked at him! You are acting as if I proposed to him in the middle of the stage!”

Kuroo sighed and flopped down on the couch.

“I only worry for you, Bo. You are earnest, honest and straight–forward. All very endearing qualities, but not when dealing with live television. I’m not telling you to stop talking to Akaashi and I’m not saying that you staring at him is necessarily bad, he is pretty, I’ll give you that, but don’t do it in front of the cameras.”

Bokuto simply looked at him, oddly touched by his friend’s concern, yet still a bit angry. Though now that he thought about it, he wasn’t necessarily angry at Kuroo. More at the situation, really. Reporters were like predators, waiting for any weakness that would allow them to strike, he knew that. But at the same time, he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

Most of the youtube comments underneath the video of him and Kokomi dancing Cohen were either about how beautiful Kokomi looked, how hot Bokuto was (he would like to save these comments somehow, or maybe print them out), how cute they were together and how ridiculously pretty “that black-haired dancer on the left” was. Somehow people on the Internet could drool over Akaashi as much as they pleased and share their admiration with the world and Bokuto couldn’t even look.

How was that fair?

Bokuto sighed heavily and his hands moved to mess up his hair again, because really, what else could he do to get rid of the frustration?

“Kuroo, I get it, I really do. I will be careful, I will pretend Akaashi doesn’t exist on Saturdays and so on, so can we please change the topic now?”

Kuroo threw him a concerned glance, but finally, he shrugged and reached for his beer.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Perfect. How do you feel as a loser?”Here, Bokuto sent Kuroo his most obnoxious grin.

Kuroo rolled his eyes.

“We finished fourth! And please, if it wasn’t for your partner owning her solo performance, you would have been crushed.”

It might have been true. As a duet, Bokuto and Kokomi raked one point more than Oikawa and Kuroo, but it was Kokomi’s solo that gave them the third place. She was given some cute, folk Japanese tune and she looked great in her yukata-styled dress, with an umbrella and everything. Other dancers were all female and the performance was so cute that no one could complain that Kokomi didn’t deserve the praise she got. Oikawa, though he was doing great as Justin Timberlake just couldn’t compare. Overall, Kokomi and Bokuto finished the first week third and with a lot of fans rooting for them, which was great.

“What do you think we will get this time? Now we are going to dance solos.” To be truthful, this was what Bokuto dreaded the most. He knew he wouldn’t be completely alone on the stage, but he would be the only one graded, the only one judged, and that was a lot of pressure to handle, especially if he couldn’t fall back on his partner’s talent.

“I’m going to show you how superb I am, no matter what I get.” Kuroo replied, as if it was a fact. It totally wasn’t. Bokuto had seen Kuroo dance at parties and while he certainly made it look fun, he wasn’t exactly graceful.

“Yeah, keep dreaming. I hope you get something that requires sequins.”

“Oh, please, bro. I would rock sequins!”

*

Monday came definitely too early and the volleyball practice was a nightmare to his muscles because there were so many of them he didn’t use before this whole dancing thing, but Bokuto persisted. Spiking was something he loved the most in the world and no sore muscle was going to stop him from hitting another one of Oikawa’s sets. Even if Oikawa looked as tired as Bokuto felt. By the end of the practice Kuroo was already down on the floor, worshipping a bottle of water that Ushijima gave him. If only the _Dance Dance Dance_ ’s cameramen could see Kuroo now, that would be quality material!

After volleyball practice Bokuto went home with Kuroo and after a quick dinner consisting of takeout, they both agreed to simply go to sleep.

This whole show was a mistake, Bokuto was going to injure himself while dancing and then he would be banned from volleyball and he wouldn’t go to the Olympics and, and…

He fell asleep.

When he woke up around 4 p.m he was still tired, but at least he looked better than Kuroo, who looked like a necromancer’s failed project as he left his bedroom.

“I think I will just see what song we get and then pass out on the couch and let Oikawa deal with the choreography.” Kuroo mumbled after downing a whole cup of coffee in one go.

“I think he would murder you if you do that.”

“It would be mercy, really.”

Bokuto fell silent because as much as he wanted to cheer his friend up, he wasn’t looking forward to today’s practice as well. New song, new steps and very low chance of seeing Akaashi because the dancers appeared only at the third rehearsal.  Not to mention his solo performance.

God, his solo performance…

Maybe Nishinoya was already feeling better? He would totally own any choreography Konoha threw at him.

“Hey, Bokuto!” Kuroo’s voice brought him back from his dark thoughts. “It’s going to be alright. You were third last time, you are the champion.”

He had been third, true. It was like getting a bronze medal. Sure, it wasn’t gold, nor silver, but it was bronze, it meant you were third best in the country and that… That felt awesome!

“Let’s do it!” He shouted with a grin and Kuroo gave him something that might have been a smile, if he had been a little more alive.

*

They both arrived at the studio and met up with Kokomi and Oikawa, who were busy complimenting each other on their respective performances.

”Hello, partner, ready for another week of undeserved torture?” Bokuto greeted and Kokomi chuckled. Oikawa and Kuroo went on their merry way, bickering. 

“I think we can do better than last week.” She replied and they both waved at their rivals and entered their practice room. As it was the last time, Ennoshita was waiting for them with a small couch on which they were supposed to sit and wait until a small screen of doom showed them their fate.

Bokuto greeted Ennoshita and waved at Konoha, who was busy with something on his phone and simply waved at them distractedly.

“Is the wheel of hell ready for us?” Bokuto asked the camera Ennoshita was holding and Kokomi giggled behind his back.

They both sat down on the couch, Kokomi sitting down like a lady, all graceful an proper, while Bokuto kinda fell into the poor sofa, almost tipping it backwards.

“I may not win with Kuroo this time, but our gag reel is going to be much better.” He promised and Ennoshita gave him a thumbs up from behind his equipment.

The screen came online and after a moment of jumping colours it settled on something that screamed ‘nineties’.

“Woah, we got Backstreet Boys!” Konoha shouted, fake surprise evident in his voice. Of course he knew which songs they were performing, he had to prepare the routines long before the show had started, but the audience couldn’t know that.

“But that’s a boysband, how do I come into this?” Kokomi asked and immediately fell silent seeing the glint in Konoha’s eyes.

“Oh, trust me, you will fit in alright. This is going to be my best work, I promise you!”

Bokuto felt a bit of dread resurfacing with a double force.

And then the door opened and a bunch of dancers came in. Bokuto's eyes immediately started searching for a familiar mop of unruly black hair.

There he was, his face impassive as ever, the aura of cool professionalism around him.

Akaashi Keiji was here.

“Hey, Akaaashi! Did you see how awesome I was on Sunday?” Bokuto shouted, causing the rest of the dancers to giggle. Ennoshita couldn’t film the dancers, if Bokuto remembered correctly, so he didn’t care much about how it looked like.

“Yes indeed. Very impressive, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi replied and although his face remained calm and uninterested, Bokuto could hear he was being sincere.

“It was all thanks to you, though!”

“I don’t think so, give some more credit to yourself and your partner. Kokomi-san was very good.” Here, Akaashi turned to Kokomi and bowed his head a little in her direction. She returned the gesture, but there was something off in her expression, something that should have made Bokuto think, but didn’t because he was so overwhelmed with a simple fact that Akaashi was here.

“Why are you here so early? Not that I’m complaining, but I thought you all came only after three rehearsals, or something?”

“I think that if you stop talking for a minute and pay attention to Konoha-san, you will know.” Akaashi replied, a small smirk making its way on his lips. Bokuto turned around to be met with Konoha’s furious gaze.

“Are you done disrupting the practice? I get it, for some reason you have imprinted on Akaashi and I’m trying to respect that, but please, let us all do our job.”

“Yeah, of course, sorry, coach.”Bokuto mumbled, sheepish. Konoha shared a look with Akaashi and without any words more, he simply moved to the middle of the dancefloor. Ennoshita followed him and set his camera so that Konoha would be the only one seen on the recording.

“Alright, this is not an easy feat, because we have got a boys band piece. And with a story to tell.”

Why couldn’t they just dance around without any story? It wasn’t ballet, right?

“The story is fairly simple. Bokuto you are the man.”

“Thank you” Everyone laughed. Konoha looked ready to start killing people. Preferably volleyball players called Bokuto.

“Kokomi-chan, you are going to be his girlfriend.  You stay at home while he goes out with his friends. He calls you to tell you he will be late, when in fact he met someone at the club and he follows her into her house. Shirofuku, you will be the seductress.”

The brown-haired dancer who was Akaashi’s partner during their last performance laughed.

“Perfect. I’m going to woo you so hard, Bokuto, you won’t know what hit you.” Here, she winked at him. It was so exaggerated that Bokuto couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud. Working with Shirofuku would be great, he could see that.

Konoha muttered something about deserving a raise and pressed on.

“Kokomi-chan finds out about Bokuto’s unfaithfulness and breaks up with him, Bokuto is broken-hearted and regrets what he had done, but Kokomi-chan won’t take him back. We will have two different bands, the women will dance with Kokomi-chan, your routine based on negations and rejection, the men go with Bokuto and will have dynamic, desparate moves to convey the drama. Questions?”

A million. How to convey such drama in a fast-paced song? Did Bokuto have to do this? Cheating was something that made him uncomfortable, even if it was just playing pretend.

“Can we change it up? I don’t want to cheat, I prefer to be cheated on to be honest.” Bokuto asked. “I can even try to pull of Kokomi’s dress if I have to!”

Konoha moaned in pain.

*

After an hour Bokuto decided that he was getting a bit better at remembering the steps. Maybe it was Akaashi’s presence, but he felt much more at ease doing strange, dramatic gestures when accompanied with a band of people doing the same.

“Clutch your heart, it's breaking!” Konoha shouted and Bokuto obliged, only to be criticized once again: “Don’t clutch that hard, you are not having a heart attack!”

“I might have one if we don’t stop for a second!” Bokuto fired back and promptly messed up following steps.

“Fine! A break!”

Bokuto bowed his head in gratefulness and sat down with a bottle of water, contemplating his options.

“You are truly getting better, Bokuto-san.” He didn’t even notice when Akaashi approached him, but he moved to make some space for the dancer to sit next to him.

“Do you really think so? All I do is mess up.”

“Yes, but this is your first day of rehearsing new steps.  You will get better and better each day you practice.”

“Maybe if you were there to help me…” Akaashi gave him a surprised look but said nothing.

“Alright, stop lazing around! Let’s repeat the steps and then we can torment Bokuto with his solo act!”

The dancers, those bastards, cheered, and even Kokomi smiled.

Bokuto turned to Akaashi, searching for some sort of understanding, but Akaashi was simply smiling.

Bokuto felt betrayed.

His solo act turned out to be something called _Uptown Funk_ and Bokuto’s mind stopped working when he saw the atrociously pink jacket the singer wore. Knowing Konoha and his thirst for revenge, this was precisely what Bokuto would be forced to wear.

The steps to his solo act were even more complicated than to the duet and even though Bokuto had started the practice in high spirits, his mood plummeted pretty quickly. At least Kokomi wasn’t there to witness his failure, the poor girl didn’t deserve to have her hopes for victory crushed so soon in the contest.

The rehearsal ended and the dancers bid him goodbye, but he barely heard them, just waving at them to acknowledge them leaving.

“You are doing it again, Bokuto-san.”

“Doing what?” He was well aware he sounded like a child, but he was so done with himself and his lack of progress that he could hardly force himself to care.

Akaashi’s hand appeared in his field of vision and it took Bokuto a while to understand that Akaashi wanted him to get up. He took the dancer’s hand and stood up, curious what Akaashi had to say.

“You are too hard on yourself, Bokuto-san. You know you are talented and because of that you are too demanding. Just because you don’t get something on the first try, doesn’t mean you won’t ever get it.”

“Kokomi doesn’t have problems with following the instructions.”

“Because she is a singer. She dances a lot, even though this is not the main focus of her career.  But she is used to practices, to sore feet, to burning tights and to remembering whole sequences of steps.

“But I should be good! I’m a sportsman!”

“How long did you practice to master your straight?” The question took him by surprise.

“Two years.” Akaashi raised an eyebrow at him, as if waiting for Bokuto to get something. Unfortunately, Bokuto didn't understand a thing.

“Do you think Kokomi-san would be good at volleyball after a week of training?”

“No? I mean, sure, volleyball is easy and fun to play, but to be very good at it you need dedication and a lot of training and… Oh. That’s what you mean.”

Akaashi just nodded.

“I think you simply assumed that since people dance at clubs and parties, then dancing is something easy that everyone but you can do. That’s why you are so hard on yourself, because in your mind, you are failing at something easy. You are not.”

It took Bokuto a while to mull over Akaashi’s words. Was he thinking of dancing as something easy? Was he so conceited? Kuroo always told him he had tendency to be very narrow-minded, especially when it came to things that were not volleyball.

“I’m sorry, Akaashi.” He finally said. Akaashi, who was busy with the radio, turned to him, his eyebrows raised.

“It must have been irritating to work with me when you knew I was looking down at your profession.”

“Were you?” Akaashi’s voice was soft, curious, but not accusatory.

“Not consciously, but… yeah, I guess.”

“Good. Now that you know you can finally learn properly.” And with that, Akaashi pushed play and started to go over the steps to _Uptown Funk_ and all Bokuto could do, was to follow him.

It got pretty late when they finally finished, but Bokuto felt a lot better.

“Do you think I can learn it in one week?” He asked Akaashi as they were making their way to the bus station, Bokuto hell-bent on escorting Akaashi as far as he could.

“You can definitely learn the steps, but you are missing joy which is crucial in this routine.”

“It’s hard to have fun when you know people are judging you as you make an idiot of yourself.”

“Don’t worry, they will be too busy laughing at your pink jacket to notice what you are doing with your feet.”

“Woah, rude! Akaaashi, you can’t be mean to meeee, you are my only ally here~!”

That made Akaashi stop.

“I shouldn’t be. You should have these late-night sessions with Kokomi-san, not me.”

“She is busy and I don’t really feel comfortable with her.”

“You don’t like her?”

“I do, she is nice, but we were thrown together just like that and I do not know her. It’s like when you were kids and your parents made you play with their friends’ kid – the kid may be alright, but the mere fact that you were forced to make friends made you dislike that person, if you know what I mean?”

Akaashi nodded, deep in thought.

“Why are you paired up with her, then? I thought the main idea behind this show was that people chose their partners, that they were dancing with someone they knew and felt at ease with.”

Bokuto shrugged.

“I wanted to dance with Kuroo, but he told me he couldn’t choose me because the show-runners wanted two volleyball players as contestants, what with the Olympics fever approaching and so on. They were pretty thrilled when he brought Oikawa as his partner, because they were getting three players at the price of two.”

Akaashi simply listened, not paying attention to the buses approaching the bus stop. It felt good, to know that someone was so interested in listening to him that they forgot about going home. Maybe he should have reminded Akaashi about the reason they were at the bus stop, but he wanted to talk to someone who wasn’t Kuroo and being with Akaashi was… Great. Comfortable. Akaashi got him somehow and Bokuto couldn’t stop himself from talking more.

“And then I was approached by the producer and he asked me if I have someone chosen as my partner, a lover, a sibling, anything. I told him that I didn’t and then he asked me if I could partner up with Kokomi, because as an idol she couldn’t really choose anyone close to her and then they could make a space on the roster for another pair. It sounded like a good idea at the time, I thought it didn’t matter who I danced with.”

Akaashi was silent, frowning about something Bokuto said.

“Are you alright?” Dark eyes looked up at him, their gaze calculating.

“Yes, but there is something… I’m not sure yet, but there is something wrong with you being paired up. And with me being here, for that matter.”

“What do you mean?”

A bus approached the stop and with a sinking heart Bokuto realized that this was Akaashi’s bus.

“I don’t know anything for sure, Bokuto-san, but when I do, I will certainly share. Goodnight.” And with that, Akaashi was gone and Bokuto was left feeling like a character from a crime story.

*

By Wednesday Bokuto had the steps mostly mastered. Kokomi worked perfectly with the female group and he himself was getting the hang of the whole despair act and clutching his bleeding heart in correct moments, but this time the steps were not a problem.

“Bokuto! She is seducing you, can you please look interested? You need to dance with her like she is sex on legs and not your aunt at a family wedding! No offence, Shirofuku!” Konoha bellowed and Shirofuku burst out laughing.

“None taken, but you do have a point, Konoha.” She turned to Bokuto.

“What can I do to make myself more to your taste?” She asked, batting her eyelashes at him. The dancer behind her, Komi, if Bokuto remembered correctly, chuckled.

“You can try dressing up as a volleyball, that’s sure to get his attention.” Komi said and Bokuto squawked in indignation. He got close to the dancers, because he was sociable and he couldn’t not like people he worked with everyday, so it was no wonder they teased him mercilessly.

“Bokuto-san, stop screeching and get back to your position.” That was Akaashi. Since Bokuto made a point of talking to him all the time, Akaashi’s resolve to not acknowledge their acquaintance seemed to crumble and he allowed himself to force Bokuto into taking practice more seriously.

“Tell your friends to stop bullying me!”

He was met with Akaashi’s deadpan stare.

“They are my evil underlings, they bully you because I told them to.” Akaashi said, as if it was normal, and the dancers laughed and started to bow to him, clearly joking. Bokuto could feel Ennoshita’s pain, to have so many good things going on and not being able to record it, really, what a waste.

As Bokuto stopped laughing and moved to his starting position, he caught Kokomi’s stare. It was strange, cold. She was never particularly chatty with him, but she stopped talking to him at all, aside from greetings and goodbyes. And sure, they weren’t exactly dancing together here, they were dancing to the same music at the same time, but it didn’t mean they were supposed to avoid each other?

Maybe she was improving her acting, going for the method acting, or whatever Kuroo called it.

“From the top, Shirofuku, try to look delectable!”

“Screw you, Konoha!” Shirofuku answered cheerfully and off they went.

*

“Tomorrow you will have to start dancing with the rest of the dancers, Bokuto-san, so try to relax a bit.” Akaashi told him as they were getting ready to their private training.

“I know, I know. It would be much better to dance it with people who are actually your friends, you know?”

Akaashi smiled that little, mysterious smile of his.

“Oh, yes, I know. Give me a minute.”

And with that, he was gone.

What just happened?

Was Bokuto being abandoned? Was Akaashi hurt, did Bokuto imply that he wasn’t comfortable with Akaashi? Was he upset because he thought Bokuto didn’t consider him his friend? Argh, he was supposed to think before he started talking, and now Akaashi was probably angry and hurt and…

The door opened and Akaashi returned with a familiar dark-haired bedhead in tow.

“I came to your rescue.” Kuroo said, waving his hand stuck in “Live Long and Prosper” gesture.

“Bro!!! What are you doing here?” Bokuto shouted, jumping at his friend without hesitation.

“Akaashi contacted me to ask if I would mind dancing with you for a bit. I wouldn’t, so here I am, I hope you appreciate my sacrifice.” Kuroo threw Bokuto off him and turned to Akaashi.

“Can you show me the steps?”

*

This was the most fun Bokuto ever had dancing.

With Kuroo on his right and Akaashi on his left he felt awesome, swagging around the dancefloor and moving low on his legs, accentuating with his hips and whatever else Akaashi told him to do. Kuroo was grinning next to him and even Akaashi was smiling as he gave them pointers what to do next. This was the best!

“Oh man, your choreography is much better than ours. Do you think we can swap? Oikawa and Kokomi are a match made in heaven, the fans will die when they see them together and we can just be awesome on our own, what do you think?” Kuroo asked as they finished fighting for water and started to clean up the room.

“Let’s do it!” That would be great, maybe that would take off the pressure of him, being paired up with Kuroo.

“You cannot do that, unfortunately.” Akaashi told them and gestured them to go outside so he could close up the studio.

“You are a spoilsport, Akaashi.”

“Everyone needs a hobby.” Kuroo laughed out loud and the atmosphere was pretty great until Kuroo steered Bokuto away from Akaashi’s bus stop. Akaashi didn’t seem surprised, he simply bid them all goodbye and went on his way.

“Why aren’t we going with him?”

The smile fell from Kuroo’s lips.

“Look, Bo. He is alright and I get why you like him, but you need to be careful around him.”

This wasn’t good.

“What do you mean?” Bokuto asked coldly.

Kuroo sighed.

“Don’t get so defensive, I have nothing against him! It’s just… I did some research and the man has sort of a reputation and it would be terrible to have some paparazzi snap a picture of you two walking together in the middle of the night.”

Bokuto felt a wave of anger overtake his reason.

“What sort of reputation? And what does it have to do with me? I’m not doing anything wrong, I hang out with you all the time, wouldn’t it be bad if some paparazzi saw us together in the middle of the night?”

“It’s not the same, Bo, and you know it! Stop being difficult.”

“No, I would totally get what you are saying if I was truly doing something wrong, but not to walk a friend to his bus stop because he ‘has a reputation’, that is bullshit.”

“I’m sorry, but no matter your intentions, journalists will do everything to have a story.” His voice was quiet and sad, and through his rage, Bokuto felt curiosity. Did Kuroo have some past scuffles with the press? Why was he so bent on protecting Bokuto?

They continued their walk home in silence.

Finally, after about ten minutes, Kuroo cracked.

“Forget about it, man. Akaashi is alright, just make sure you are careful, can I ask you that?”

“Sure, but can I ask you to treat me like and adult from time to time?”

Kuroo gave him a small smile.

“When you earn the title of an adult, then I will consider it.”

When they finally made their way to the apartment, they both collapsed on their respective beds, not bothering with shower.

*

“Hey, ballerinas, why are you so tired, eh?” Lev teased and Bokuto flipped him off from his position on the floor.

“Do we start practicing yoga as well?” Nishinoya asked, pointing to Bokuto and Kuroo laying on the floor, their bodies a perfect picture of the plank, or whatever the position was called.

“If you did half of the things we did yesterday, you would be dead already.” Kuroo hissed and ignored Nishinoya’s laughter.

“Yeah, sure. Dancing is sooo difficult.” Noys teased and something in Bokuto snapped.

“Kuroo, your phone, please.”

*

Maybe he wasn’t best at thinking things through and he should check his impulses from time to time, but this time Bokuto was a bit proud of what he had done.

“You called me, from Kuroo-san’s phone, might I add, saying that it was emergency and crucial to your performance only to make me teach your volleyball team how to dance?” Akaashi asked, his tone carefully calm, but his twitching eyebrows betrayed the sheer indignation hiding behind his cold composure.

“No, I called you here to show this heathens what I already know and they don’t, and that is how hard dancing actually is.” Akaashi sighed.

“I am charging you for that, my classes are on Tuesdays and Fridays, Thursdays are my free days.” Akaashi told him and turned to the rest of the volleyball team.

Bokuto’s teammates were watching them with varying degrees of interest, Kuroo being totally disinterested and Sakusa staring at Akaashi as if he had never seen someone so beautiful. He probably hadn’t, because Akaashi was the best.

“Alright, guys, this is Akaashi and he is the best dancer in Japan and he is going to whip you into shape so you can learn a little respect for dancers and yours truly! And Kuroo, maybe.”

“Hey!”

“Aren’t you forgetting someone?”

“Oikawa, you’ve never joined us in misery on the floor so we have decided you are not a part of our special circle.”

Akaashi took a few minutes getting acquainted with the rest of the team and then simply told them to stand in a row. And they obeyed, which was a miracle in itself. Bokuto could feel the excitement thrumming in his veins.

“Bokuto-san, what are you doing there, looking so proud of yourself? You are dancing too.”

Damn.

*

The coach was amused when Bokuto told him about his idea, and he was definitely having the time of his life as he watched his star players stumbling their way through the steps of _Uptown Funk_. Bokuto was too tired to care, but he was pretty sure he would be laughing as well, looking at Ushijima’s silent focus as he tried to keep up with the pace.

At some point Akaashi joined them, and once again Bokuto had Kuroo on his right and Akaashi on his left and this was certainly the best moment in his dancing career, as he moved around with his teammates, with his friends and could simply enjoy the music. Lev’s stressed shouts, Nishinoya’s swearing, Daichi’s sighs, Oikawa’s laughter, Kuroo’s grin and Akaashi’s small smile, all of that made the experience one of the kind. If this was what dancing felt like to people who did it professionally, then Bokuto could see why they loved it so.

The music stopped and the majority of the team collapsed on the floor, accompanied by the Coach’s laughter.

“Akaashi! This was awesome! Can I bring them on Saturday, I would totally own the stage with you all as my team!” Bokuto shouted with his hands on Akaashi’s arms. He was just so… Happy. It was similar to playing a while match together, of seeing each struggle finally paying off.  Sure, his team was now becoming one with the floor, which happened after the hardest matches but the feeling was great!

“Bokuto-san, I don’t think that is according to the rules…” Akaashi started to say but he trailed off, his gaze fixed on something behind Bokuto’s back.

Bokuto turned and so Ennoshita putting his camera away and running away from the court.

When Bokuto turned to Akaashi, the dancer was ghostly pale.

Not knowing what was going on, Bokuto allowed Akaashi to simply go away, shouting his thanks for the dancing session, but they fell on deaf ears. Something went wrong and Bokuto looked at Kuroo, hoping to find some answers there. Kuroo simply shook his head in silence.

*

The next morning Akaashi greeted him normally and the whole group proceeded to dance _The Call_ and once again Bokuto got scolded for the lack of any tension between him and Shirofuku. Which was uncalled for, because he got along with her much better than he did with Kokomi these days.

“What can we do to make you seem more interested?” Konoha bellowed, clearly stressed.

“Maybe let’s swap Yukie with Akaashi, that should grab Bokuto-san’s attention.” Came a biting suggestion. Everyone fell quiet and turned to the source of the remark.

Kokomi didn’t look like someone who would ever say anything so bitterly, yet she didn’t seem apologetic at all. Her face was set in an angry frown, her arms were crossed on her chest and she looked furious.

“Oh, that is an excellent proposition. I actually came to discuss a similar idea.” Came from the entrance and Bokuto only now noticed the producer, Daishou or something, grinning at all of them. If snakes could smile at their victims, this was what they would look like, Bokuto decided. There was nothing warm about that smile.

“What do you think Akaashi, ready to face the spotlight again?”

Akaashi kept quiet.

The only indication that something was wrong was the way his hands trembled slightly.

Bokuto didn’t know why, exactly, but he was sure that whatever was coming, was not going to be good. And that it was his fault.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that they are all volleyball players and they have great stamina, but I used to play volleyball for a long while and there were moments when I was the last one standing on the court, yet a Just Dance marathon could kill me in half an hour, so I'm applying my experience here. 
> 
> I would love to see Ushiwaka dancing to Uptown Funk with a straight face, it would be hilarious. 
> 
> The duet song they are dancing to is called 'The Call' and was recorded by Backstreet Boys, unfortunately for the whole performance you will have to wait. 
> 
> Have a good day and thank you for reading!


	3. The Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we go. 
> 
> I hope I'll manage to publish one chapter a week, but no promises because my thesis is looking at me with contempt...

Bokuto was the worst asshole on this planet. He was irresponsible, didn’t think about his actions and ignored good advice of his friends. And other people paid the price. He didn’t know yet how exactly their little stunt with teaching the whole team _Uptown Funk_ factored into the mess they had now, but he was sure that Daishou didn’t appear out of nowhere and Akaashi looked too resigned to be truly surprised by this turn of events. Add to that the guilty glances Ennoshita sent their way from behind his camera and Bokuto was pretty sure that it was his stupid idea that caused everything.

He was the one who lured Akaashi in under false pretenses. He was the one who didn’t listen to Kuroo and didn’t care how many people saw him interacting with Akaashi and now Akaashi was being forced into spotlight, Kokomi was furious and refused to talk to anyone aside from Konoha and the rest of the team fell silent. Komi tried talking to Akaashi, but was sent back to his starting position. Shirofuku approached Bokuto and gave him a little hug that somehow failed to make Bokuto better.

Because all of this was not the peak of Bokuto’s assholery. No, he was literally the worst scum of the Earth, because even with all of that heavy atmosphere, with the way their team spirit crashed and burned, Bokuto couldn’t help but feel relief. He was dancing with Akaashi. Some selfish, vile part of him was thankful for this turn of events, because dancing with Akaashi was the best and now he could it outside of private sessions. He hated that part of himself, the one that overlooked Akaashi’s discomfort and was simply elated by the possibility to be his partner. Bokuto was the worst.

Konoha seemed to notice the plummeting mood of everyone present, because after two rounds of trying to make them feel the song, he finally gave up and ordered them to go home early.

“I know that what happened today was… Unpleasant and unexpected, but we are all professionals here and I assume that we can all act like it.” Here, Konoha shot a warning glare in Kokomi’s direction. The idol had enough tact to look ashamed and left the room with her eyes boring into the floor, without saying goodbye to anyone.

“I don’t know why, but I thought she was a bit nicer, you know?” Said Shirofuku to no one in particular and was answered with a few nods from the rest of the dancers. They waved at him while they went on their way and Bokuto started to wonder why they weren’t angry at him. Sure, Kokomi was plainly rude, but couldn’t they see that it was Bokuto’s fault?

He was ready to leave, when he noticed that Akaashi was still in the room, looking in the mirror and not betraying any wish to move. Although he was staring into his own reflection, it was clear that his own appearance was the last thing on his mind.  For a moment, Bokuto wondered if Akaashi maybe wanted to talk to him. But he quickly squashed that idea. Akaashi knew it was Bokuto’s fault. He blamed Bokuto and hated him and he had every right to do so. Bokuto would have hated himself too. Heck, he hated himself now, for not thinking, for not being able to do anything right, for being a selfish bastard and being happy that he didn’t have to dance with Shirofuku…

“Can we talk?”It got Bokuto out of his slump. When he looked around he noticed that Ennoshita and Konoha were still in the room. Ennoshita looked ready to cry and he was staring at Akaashi in despair. From that Bokuto concluded that it was Ennoshita who asked.

Akaashi turned towards the cameraman and Konoha made his way to stand next to the dancer, presenting a united front.

“Should I stay too?” Bokuto asked, not sure if anyone wanted to talk to him at this point.

“Of course, Bokuto-san. This whole matter involves you as well and I imagine Ennoshita-san has something to say to you as well.” The voice was Akaashi’s, but it didn’t sound like Akaashi. Akaashi had never been so cold before. Calm, collected, sure. But this was icy fury and Bokuto’s heart sunk thinking that all of this rage was caused by him. Directed at him.

When he turned to look at Akaashi, the dancers face was devoid of any emotion.  For a moment Bokuto wondered where was his place – next to Akaashi and Konoha, on the side of the victims, or next to Ennoshita, on the side of the guilty, ready to beg for forgiveness.

He remained where he stood, a third angle to this strange triangle of guilt and anger.

“You wanted to talk. Talk.” Konoha’s voice was cutting and the choreographer did nothing to hide his anger.

“I didn’t want this whole mess to happen. I was at the training because I was meant to take some shots of Bokuto-san as he trains. For the montage, you know. The ace in his natural habitat or something. We had an agreement with Yamji-san, the Coach, that the television could record some of the practices. I wanted to drop in unannounced so that the shots would be genuine.” Ennoshita said, his eyes sullen and tired. He took a deep breath and continued. His eyes were trained on Akaashi.

“I didn’t know you would be there, Akaashi. But when I saw all of you dancing and having fun, it was a dream came true! This was the best shot I could ask for, all of the players having fun and dancing during the training, that was the best recommendation of our show I could think of. It was like a promotional flashmob! So I recorded it.”

It made sense. It was a bit horrible, to record them without their permission, but Bokuto could understand being so excited and so happy that propriety simply didn’t factor in the decision-making. But there was something off here…

“I thought you were forbidden from shooting Akaashi during practices?” He asked, wondering if he remembered this right.

Surprisingly, it was Akaashi who replied.

“Yes, but during our dancing practices. My image can be used in promotional material and I was clearly not in our studio and not at a dancing practice yesterday. I was at a volleyball practice.” Akaashi said, resignation clear in his voice. All Bokuto could do was stare at him, trying to convey how sorry he was.

“But it still isn’t fair! You have to agree to them using your image, don’t you?” Akaashi shook his head.

“Not necessarily. Of course, if I had the time to find a good lawyer it might have looked differently, but we lack time. We won’t prove they have broken our agreement until Saturday and I do not want to lose my job just yet.” Here, Akaashi looked at Konoha, who still looked pissed.

“I knew it was a bad idea for you to work here, I knew they would find something to make you their…, their… woman in scarlet!” The choreographer shouted and marched right out of the room, presumably to calm down.

“I was watching the material on my computer when Daishou saw it and made me publish it on youtube.” Ennoshita continued, his eyes still trained on Akaashi. “The comments started very quickly and some people… recognized you.”

Akaashi sighed.

“And Daishou decided to play it out and use my infamy to promote the show. Now I see… Don’t worry, Ennoshita. If it wasn’t this, he would have used any other means possible to make me visible. You helped him, but this still would have happened, with or without your involvement. Konoha is right, this is what they wanted from the beginning when they asked me to come here with my team.”

Bokuto had no idea what was going on but he was determined to find out. And to apologize for his own involvement, because even if this was all planned, he made it possible to happen too.

“For all it's worth, I’m really sorry.” Ennoshita said, and Bokuto was surprised to see that right now, the cameraman was looking at him. “ And I’ll go… You probably want to talk for a while, plan things…” And with the last apologetic look sent Akaashi’s way, Ennoshita was gone.

Bokuto was left alone with Akaashi. And for the first time in their short acquaintance, Bokuto was at a loss for words. Akaashi was looking at him with his calm grey eyes and Bokuto wanted to flee, to escape from the accusations that were sure to come his way, but he stood were he was, because he deserved it, he deserved it and he still had to apologize.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto-san.”

_What?!_

He had no idea he had said it out loud, but apparently he did, because Akaashi continued.

“I am sorry that you got dragged into this. I was suspecting that there was a reason Daishou wanted me in your team and I knew I should have kept my distance for your sake but I didn’t and I’m sorry.”

What the fuck.

“Akaashi, it was me! Me who called you there, who insisted on your company, if anyone should be apologizing, it is me!”

Akaashi took a few steps toward him, keeping a respectable distance between them, but staying close enough that he could look into Bokuto’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Akaashi, because Kuroo told me to be careful, he told me to stop bothering you because it is television and so on, but I ignored him, because dancing with you is so fun, and being with you is also great and I simply wanted us to be friends, was that so bad? But now something bad is going to happen and I don’t know what, and you will probably stop being friendly with me and I don’t want that Akaashi…!”

He expected to be shouted at. Or being hit.

He didn’t expect Akaashi laughing at him. In fact, he never expected to see Akaashi laughing, but here they were and Akaashi’s laugh was the best.  Even if he was laughing at Bokuto’s heartfelt apology.

“Oh, Bokuto-san, if you only knew.. the irony… Oh, my.” Akaashi was clearly trying to find his breath again but when he looked at Bokuto, he started to laugh again. Bokuto tried not to take offense at that. He probably had a very perplexed expression on his face. Possibly.

Akaashi finally stopped laughing and straightened up, once again standing tall next to Bokuto and gazing straight into his eyes.

“I do not blame you for what happened, Bokuto-san. I have been working in show business for some time and I should have known better. “ Akaashi explained, his tone calm again.

“They put us together because you are friendly and sociable, so it was the easiest to make any scandal involving the two of us probable. And adding to that Kokomi-san, a beloved idol… Konoha was right, they are trying to play me up as some kind of _femme fatale_. “ He continued and Bokuto was once again intrigued why this was the role the station prepared for Akaashi. Sure, he was beautiful and talented and it made sense that people would find him fascinating, but this was too much.

“Why you?”

Akaashi’s amicable expression disappeared, replaced by deep sadness.

“I have ended a five-years long relationship on national TV, apparently.”

“That sucks! But shouldn’t people be more sympathetic?”

“It wasn’t my relationship.”

*

They didn’t talk much after that and went over the steps again, but Bokuto wasn’t really into it. It felt better dancing with Akaashi than with Shirofuku, true, but the way they day had gone, dancing around to the song about cheating and betrayal wasn’t what Bokuto needed.

He felt relief when Akaashi insisted that Bokuto didn’t walk him to the bus stop.

Bokuto simply wanted to go home.

When he finally entered his and Kuroo’s flat he wasn’t really surprised to see a foreign pair of shoes in the hall.

Kuroo mentioned that he would love to catch up with Kenma at some point and apparently today was that day. Normally, Bokuto would be happy to have a guest. Right now, he didn’t care and simply wanted to sleep.

“Yo, how was your day?” Kuroo called from the living room and Bokuto seriously considered ignoring him.  _Look how ignoring Kuroo paid off so far_.

“Horrible. Hey Kenma.” Bokuto replied, waving at the two sitting at the couch. They were playing something on the console, but Kenma immediately paused the game after taking a look at Bokuto’s expression. Kenma was quiet, but he understood people without words. Bokuto was grateful. He flopped down on their carpet and decided that he would stay there, as low as possible, just to fit his mood.

“Hello, Dejected Bokuto, we haven’t seen you in a while.” Kuroo teased, sitting down next to Bokuto. Kenma stayed on the couch but he had his eyes trained on the two of them. “ Wanna share what happened?”

“Not really.”

“Akaashi troubles?”

If only that.

“Kuroo, I think this is about your dancing around the volleyball court.” Came Kenma’s quiet voice and Kuroo let out a surprised ‘huh?’.

“How do you know about it? I didn’t tell you anything!”

“Didn’t have to. The whole station knows.”

That made Bokuto feel even worse. Despite Akaashi’s words, he still felt guilty. And angry. And totally useless.

“What do you mean ‘the whole station knows’? It was this morning!” Here, Kuroo paused. “Bo, is that why you came here looking as if your dog died?”

And Bokuto was faced with a choice. Either he could tell them everything and get some good advice, or he could remain silent and finally work out some of his problems himself.

“Come on, Bo. We know you can deal with whatever it is alone, but we want to be involved. And also, I’m curious.”

Kuroo always knew how to get Bokuto talking.

So Bokuto sat up and told them everything. Kokomi’s fit, Daishou’s decision, Ennoshita’s apology and Akaashi’s confession. The more he talked about it, the more angry he grew. Sure, it was great to know Akaashi wasn’t angry at him, but he would prefer to be treated like an equal, not like a child who couldn’t assume responsibility for the stupid things it had done. So he told them that too, how he wanted to be friends with Akaashi, how he wanted to dance with him but also how much he was afraid of making Akaashi suffer because of his affections.

And both Kuroo and Kenma listened.

When Bokuto finally finished, Kuroo got up and disappeared in the kitchen, only to come back with two cans of beer. Kenma usually didn’t drink, so he was given a small bottle of soda.

“Alright, so let’s start with the obligatory ‘I told you so’, because seriously, I told you to leave Akaashi alone, you cannot afford to be linked to him in public.” Kuroo proclaimed, taking a sip of his beer.

“Excuse me? Have you listened to a thing I said? It was all my fault!” The anger felt familiar, why was Kuroo so against Akaashi?

“Don’t mind Kuro, he is a coward who projects his fears on others.”

Both Bokuto and Kuroo looked at Kenma in shock.

“Kenma…”

“Don’t you dare, Kuro.  Don’t try to tell me it is for the best, because it is not. We play by your rules, because I care for your career, but you don’t have the right to force others to do the same. And lay off Akaashi. I like him.”

Bokuto was once again confused. There was something he was missing, something he didn’t know  was going on between Kuroo and Kenma and he was afraid to ask.

“It doesn’t matter if you like him or not! Bokuto is a professional player, he cannot be involved with a known scandalist! And this is nothing like us!” Kuroo protested, clearly agitated. It wasn’t often Kenma fought Kuroo, Bokuto realized. He wanted to change the subject, fast.

“Alright, stop right here. Can somebody tell me what sort of scandal we are talking about here?” This, this he could ask about.

Kuroo and Kenma had a staring contest and finally, Kuroo sighed heavily.

“A few years ago Akaashi and his partner won some prestigious dancing award, I don’t remember what it was, but it was a big deal because they were the first Japanese couple to win it in fifty years or something. They were so happy that the girl kissed him, in front of the cameras, live and all. Sad thing was, she had been married at the time, to one of our baseball players, I think? So, of course the press had a field day with that.”

Bokuto could feel his heart sinking. He didn’t know why, really but there was something painful about Kuroo’s words.

“Are they together now?”

Kuroo shook his head.

“That’s the main problem, she threw away her marriage for him but Akaashi denied everything. He said he had never seen her as anything else than a partner. A love story the public could handle, but a cold-hearted homewrecker? Not really. He disappeared after that because from Japan’s prized victor he was made into a public enemy. No wonder, poor girl…”

“Maybe she wouldn’t be so poor if she talked to him. He clearly wasn’t interested.”

“You don’t know that, Kenma.”

“I do, because I talk to people if I have questions. He was the victim here but because he refused to cry over the reporters during interviews,they made him a scapegoat. And now you are doing the same.”

Bokuto could feel the moment when Kuroo lost his temper approaching and decided to take care of his beer, trying to make sense of the things he had heard.  No wonder Akaashi was so resigned about the whole thing, he had already been there. That was awful. And they wanted him to be the bad guy once again. Maybe it truly would be better for both of them if Bokuto left him alone?

Kuroo and Kenma were now arguing in the earnest, with Kenma’s quiet voice answering to Kuroo’s biting comments.

“Oh, perfect, so now he has you around his finger too? Don’t come crying to me when he leaves you too _, he has no heart_!” Kuroo spat out and something boiled in Bokuto.

“Kuroo, mate, I don’t know what is going on between you and Kenma and I won’t pry until you decide to tell me, but really, stop blaming everything on Akaashi. I get it, you are jealous because Kenma is your best friend and he is not on your side this time, and that sucks, but Akaashi is my friend. So leave him out of your fights.” Bokuto was proud of how calm his voice came out. He was getting better at reigning his emotions in.

All fight seemed to leave Kuroo. But Kenma was out of his place on the couch and was making his way to the hall. Kuroo, a broken-hearted expression on his face, followed.

Bokuto didn’t know how long they’ve been talking, or if they left the flat and frankly, he didn’t care. He went to grab a shower and when he finally collapsed on his bed, he was out.

Emotions were exhausting.

*

The next morning he met Kuroo in the kitchen, looking mournfully into his cup of coffee.

“Did you make up with Kenma?”

Kuroo shrugged. Bokuto decided to wait for a bit and prepare himself breakfast. Finally, when he was in the middle of putting rice in his bowl, Kuroo finally spoke.

“Sorry about yesterday. As much as I don’t like it, Kenma was right. I look at you and Akaashi and see my problems. And I want to spare you the same thing I’ve been through but Kenma is right, this is not my responsibility and Akaashi is not really to blame.”

“That’s… Surprisingly mature of you, Kuroo.” Kuroo chuckled a little.

“Look who is talking. Great example of diplomacy, Bo, I was impressed. Akaashi would be too.”

Bokuto felt a bit hot all of a sudden.

“Look, Kuroo…”

“Nah, you were right. Before I start running my mouth about Akaashi I should actually get to know him. Besides, Kenma likes him, you like him, so whether I like it or not, I am going to see him a lot.”

Bokuto could feel his mood lifting up a bit. Kuroo was awfully overprotective at times, still not free of his captain instincts, but he could admit to being wrong from time to time and that really made a difference. It was great to have a friend who looked out for you, but sometimes it could be too much. And Kuroo knew when to let go.

“Look, about yesterday…” Bokuto started, but Kuroo interrupted him with a gesture.

“I will explain everything, I promise. But first I need to talk to Kenma and I would like him to be here when I explain things, so can you wait a bit?”

“Sure. Can I ask you something unrelated?”

Kuroo gulped down his coffee and turned his famous smirk at Bokuto.

“Ask away, Agony Aunt is listening.”

“What should I do about Akaashi?”

Kuroo hit his forehead on the table in an overly dramatic facepalm.

Bokuto felt a little offended.

*

Friday practice was his last before the great performance and Bokuto was taken aback with how easy it was to follow the steps now, that he knew Akaashi didn’t hate him. It also felt easier to act enamored with Akaashi than it was with Shirofuku, even though Konoha still complained that he should act more surprised and turned on when Akaashi whispered in his ear.

Maybe if Akaashi said anything at all, then Bokuto could act surprised. As it was, Akaashi simply moving his lips against Bokuto’s ears was distracting, but nothing more.

Over all the dancers and Konoha seemed satisfied with their last training session, even though Kokomi didn’t talk to anyone and the girls from her group avoided her as well. Bokuto almost felt bad for the idol, but she had been rude to Akaashi and she didn’t look sorry at all, so maybe it would be better to let her think about what she had done.

Everyone have left and Bokuto turned to Akaashi, ready to hear something close to ‘sorry Bokuto-san, it’s too much risk, I won’t practice with you anymore’ and he was bracing to hear it, trying to find a good, grown-up response to that.

Instead of leaving, Akaashi sat down, his back to the mirror and looked at Bokuto, clearly waiting.

“You are not leaving?”

“Should I?”

Bokuto simply shook his head and moved to join Akaashi on the floor.

“I talked to Kenma today. He told me about your argument yesterday.”

“Oh. Wait, how do you even know Kenma?”

“We met some time ago at some interview and then bumped into each other here. So we renewed the friendship, if that is how it can be called.” Akaashi replied, his tone a bit fond.

“That’s how you knew Kuroo’s phone number?”

“Yes. You are sharp, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto preened at the praise.

“Yeah, I’m pretty great aren’t I? Well, you stayed with me today, even with this whole mess around us, so I must be something!” He exclaimed, feeling his good mood skyrocketing.

“That’s what I wanted to talk about, actually. I am done running away from the press. No matter what I say or don’t say, they will still do what they want with my public image. I have lost three years hiding from them and hoping they would leave me alone. They didn’t.” Here, Akaashi looked at Bokuto.”I don’t want to run away from friends just because I am scared of my name appearing in a paper.”

“That’s great! Does it mean you won’t avoid me!?” This was great!!! They could still practice together and maybe Akaashi could be convinced to come to the volleyball practice again and Bokuto could teach him how to play and they would be the best friends, save for Kuroo, and…

“Let me finish, Bokuto-san.” Oh. ”This is my choice. But you are in a different situation than I am. You are a sportsman. You are a national treasure, and you might not want to have my reputation influence yours. You are still free from the press. So if you want us to stop meeting, to play it safe, I’d understand.”

“Why are you saying that?” Bokuto was truly confused. Did Akaashi want to meet him, or not?

“Because I too, consider you my friend. And I won’t make any decisions for you, but I want you to be aware of the risks. You have much more to lose than me at this point. So I want you to think about it throughout the weekend.”

Bokuto simply nodded. He was already sure of his decision, because he was not a coward and Akaashi was his friend, and really, what were they going to do to him? Write that he was seen practicing with a dancer? They weren’t doing anything scandalous and there was no proof against them. So yes, they would get some stupid comments on the Internet, but that was all. However, Akaashi asked him to think about it and he would.

“Now, changing the topic, what is your type?”

“What?”

“The type of person you would consider attractive?”

Bokuto felt too hot.

“Why are you asking?”

“Because I need you to look interested tomorrow and I’m searching for right words to ensure it.”

“Oh… I don’t know, really. I never had time for relationships, because why bother dating if you can play volleyball instead, you know?”

“So dressing as a volleyball is the way to go?”

“Akaaashi, nooot you too” Bokuto whined and that earned him a chuckle.  It was like talking to Kuroo… Wait, what did Kuroo say after he stopped banging his head on the table?

_Talk to him, Bo. Relationships are a two-way street. You build trust from both sides and decide what you want to do together._

“Akaashi, I’m sorry I asked Kuroo about that thing from your past. I should have asked you, to get your side of the story.”

Akaashi’s expression fell.

“No, I think it was better that way. I still don’t feel comfortable talking about it, to be honest.”

“Still, it was breach of privacy, so I will tell you a secret of my own.”

“You don’t have to, Bokuto-san, I…”

“I don’t like this routine because my mum and me caught my dad with some other woman.” He finally managed. He had been thinking about saying it this whole morning, to explain why he wasn’t into this whole song, why he couldn’t bring himself to act interested. He hated cheating.

“I’m so sorry, Bokuto-san. You don’t have to say more, but I’m ready to listen if you want to.”

And surprisingly, Bokuto wanted to.

“I was fourteen and me and my mum came back home from the amusement park earlier because it started to rain. We opened the door, expecting dad to wait for us with dinner, as he usually did. But instead we found him with his secretary, on the couch.”

Akaashi kept quiet and Bokuto was grateful for that.

“He said that it was just a mistake, that it happened once, that he wasn’t thinking… Mum tried to get over it, but she never did, and frankly, neither did I. They got divorced two years later and we haven’t seen him since.”

He was met with silence and he was ready to apologize for upsetting Akaashi, but then he felt a hand covering his and long fingers entwining with his own.

It felt like understanding.

*

The hosts were doing their best to make the crowd excited but Bokuto did not pay any attention to Yachi and Tsukki, as the fans called him. No, Bokuto was busy staring at his partner.

Kokomi was dressed in a white dress and she looked the part of an innocent, abandoned girlfriend. She kept her face neutral, a fake, easy smile ready whenever a camera passed them, but that was it. She hadn’t spoken a word to Bokuto the whole time they waited for their turn.

Finally, their names were being called.

Bokuto really tried not to pay attention to their gag reel this time. He knew what he would see, and truly, the crowd cheered loudly when the footage of the whole national team fumbling with _Uptown Funk_ appeared on the screen.

Then, they were on the stage.

Bokuto moved to his starting spot and waited.

He wanted it to be over.

The music started, the easy beat filling his ears. He was wearing a T-shirt and a jeans jacket, so he got hot very quickly, but he moved on, his eyes trained on the group of dancers. In few seconds, Akaashi would be emerging from behind them and everything would get easier…

He turned and the male band parted, revealing Akaashi.

He looked stunning.

Bokuto didn’t have to act surprised, because Akaashi was wearing very tight jeans, a black top way too loose on his frame, his hair were glittering and he was wearing earrings. Anyone would be left with mouth hanging. 

Bokuto could feel his breath stopping.

And then Akaashi came closer, his hand making its way up Bokuto’s torso and his face getting dangerously close…

His lips stopped right next to Bokuto’s ear.

And for the first time, he could hear Akaashi’s voice.

“I used to be a setter.”

 Oh. God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time we will have more Kenma and finally Kokomi's reasons will come to surface.
> 
> While I was re-reading this chapter I realized that if I loved Akaashi any more, I would be Bokuto. Huh. 
> 
> If you spot any mistakes, let me know!


	4. Everybody Needs Somebody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my sister who convinced me to include more Kuroo in this fic, I enjoy writing him a lot!

**Bokuto Koutarou & Kokomi-chan – The Call – Dance Dance Dance Official Video**

**Comments (256):**

**Yato89:** HOLY SHIT, IS THIS REAL???

 **Mizuki Natsukawa:** This is a man, right? It could be a girl, but I’m pretty sure it’s a man. WTF?

 **IDK34254:** Someone went Progressive McProgressive at Sakura TV, lol.

 **SassKE:** Disgusting.

 **OikawasSelfie:** How much did they pay Bokuto to do that?

 **OneTruePair:** Maybe the real dancer got ill and they had to replace her with this?

 **BokutoGo:** It was awesome! This dancer is so pretty I would go for him too~~

 **Wolf_Uder_The Moon** : Fucking homos.

 **JustDance4Ever:** Poor Kokomi, she deserves everything

 **SadButTrue:** It’s the same fuckign dancer as before

*

Bokuto didn’t remember much from Saturday. That’s why this Sunday he was now sitting with Kuroo and watching the episode for himself.

“Man, your expression here, what did he say? That he was in fact three owls wearing a trenchcoat? You would go for that, wouldn’t you? ” Kuroo laughed, but Bokuto ignored him, focused on his and Akaashi’s expressions. Akaashi looked like he always did, mysterious, enchanting and beautiful.  He played his role perfectly but that was it. No one would accuse him of being too into Bokuto or anything.

As for Bokuto… His expression right after Akaashi’s confession was stuck in awe and Bokuto was sure no one would believe him if he told them it was just acting. It wasn’t. He could still remember the way his heart started beating so fast all of the sudden and how all of the stress just melted away. All he could think about were Akaashi words and whether they were true or not.

Bokuto and Kokomi on the screen stopped dancing and were now standing in front of the jury, ready for their assessment.

 _Kokomi-chan, I would never cheat on you, especially with the way you danced today, please choose me!_ , Terushima on the screen shouted and the audience cheered while Kokomi gave Terushima her best modest smile. _It’s a nine from me because I was invested!_

Sugawara and Shimizu added something after that but Bokuto hadn’t been listening then and wasn’t listening now. They performed well, got 25 points and that was it. Like Kuroo said, Bokuto would have to talk to Kokomi at some point, because their partnership was getting worse and worse. He had liked her at the beginning but know he was angry. His time with Akaashi had been private, intimate and now the whole Japan saw them. And judged them.

God, Kuroo was right.

“Hey, bro, you weren’t paying attention yesterday, so look now and see what kicked your ass.” Kuroo said, jabbing Bokuto in the ribs with his elbow.

“Oh please, you won because Oikawa was running around shirtless.” Bokuto retorted, but dutifully moved his eyes to the screen where Kuroo and Oikawa were dancing to _Kung Fu Fighting._ They were good, they had fun and the public accepted it. There were very few comments about Oikawa and Kuroo being in love or anything, everyone agreed that they were ultimate bro goals. So why were Bokuto and Akaashi treated differently? Was Akaashi too pretty to be considered a normal friend? Or was Bokuto truly staring at him in an inappropriate way?

“Excuse you, I was also shirtless.”

“Yes, that’s why you didn’t get thirty points. Whatever Oikawa won with his abs, you lost with the lack of yours.”

Kuroo spluttered in indignation.

“Friendship with Bokuto ended, now Oikawa is my best friend.” He said gravely and Bokuto snickered, his mood lifting.

“You wouldn’t survive him for longer than two weeks.” Bokuto replied, his eyes still glued to the screen.

“Damn right, I would murder him and then call you for help with hiding the body. That’s how we would rekindle our relationship.”

“Quite literally over Oikawa’s dead body.” They both started laughing at that and didn’t stop until the judges announced that the duo got 27 points.

“We will get you next time, Gadget!” Bokuto threatened, raising his fist in the air and knocking down their mugs with tea, thankfully empty.

They watched the rest of performances pretending to be judges, with Kuroo’s rendition of Terushima’s showy enthusiasm winning the night.

“Darling, I would have loved to join you on the stage, you danced so well!” He chirped as Sayaka-san, the actress and her husband finished their routine on the screen. “No, I’m serious, I would get rid of your husband, just to dance with you!” Kuroo carried on, his voice almost a falsetto and his shirt halfway undone.” Then I would get rid of you, so that the audience could finally look at something worthwhile – me!” And with that Kuroo pulled his shirt open a bit too aggressively, spreading buttons around.

Bokuto howled with laughter and fell of the couch.

This was how Kenma found them, Kuroo with an open shirt laying seductively on pillows and talking in his pseudo-Terushima voice and Bokuto down on the floor, roaring with laughter like a madman.

“Glad to see you in good spirits.” Kenma said and they both stopped.

“Kenma! You came!” Kuroo bellowed, jumping up from the couch and rushing to greet his friend.

“Put something on.”

“Aww, don’t be like that, I’ll have complexes if you keep on shutting me down like that! Bokuto just told me that Oikawa had better abs than me.”

“Koutarou was right.” Kenma replied, waving at Bokuto and moving to sit at the table in the kitchen.

Kuroo clutched his chest in a parody of Bokuto’s moves from _The Call_ and wailed something that sounded like ‘Betrayal!’ but dutifully went to his bedroom. Bokuto in turn went to join Kenma in the kitchen.

“How did you like the show? Did you see how I owned _Uptown Funk_?” He asked Kenma, a bit too loud it seemed, because the poor man winced.

“Yes, impressive. You got more points than for the duet.”

“I know! It is all Akaashi’s doing though, he taught me how to dance and have fun, so I just thought about that day we danced with the team and I wasn’t stressed at all, and I truly had fun and sure, Akaashi wasn’t dancing with us, but Komi and Sarukui were next to me and they are cool too! So we totally deserved all these points and we are totally going to win this!” Bokuto finished with a grin.

“Mhm.” And Kenma’s attention was gone, focused on the phone in his hands.

“Oh, come on, be excited for me a little! I know you want Kuroo to win, and I do too, but I want to win more, and he won today so be nice to me, Kenmaaaa!”

Kenma sighed.

“You can do it, Koutarou.” He said, with no inflection whatsoever.

“That didn’t sound genuine!” Bokuto whined and was ready to pester Kenma more, but Kuroo entered the kitchen, a fresh t-shirt covering his (admittedly not that bad) chest.

“So, Kenma, how did you like the episode?” Kuroo asked, sitting right next to Kenma, opposite to Bokuto.

“It was alright. You seem to be fan favourites at the moment.”

Kuroo and Bokuto looked at each other and went for a high-five.

“Oho?”

“Oho ho?”

“Who is awesome?”

“We are!”

But before they could start some sort of a victory dance, Kenma cleared his throat.

“Have you read You Tube comments?”

Bokuto winced.

“We try to avoid that, really. Why?”

Kenma nodded and glanced at Kuroo. Then, he explained.

“People are all for you and Oikawa winning. But Kokomi and Koutarou are getting the largest number of reactions. “

Kuroo’s expression fell.

“Good reactions?”

Kenma glanced to the side.

“Not always.”

Oh. Of course. Bokuto sat down, ready for the worst. Akaashi would read them and will tell Bokuto tomorrow that he was sorry, but he wasn’t ready to continue this friendship and Bokuto would understand because it was the worst, feeling like the whole world was against you. Kuroo patted his shoulder and settled on his chair, next to Kenma.

“So this is the moment we give you the Talk, bro.”

“I know about bees and flowers, just so you know!” Bokuto announced cheerfully, but inside he was getting worried. The Talk? Did he mess something up?

“Okay, before we start, you need to promise me not to freak out and not to interrupt, because talking about it is hard in itself and with you shouting and screeching it would get even harder.”

“Alright.”

Kuroo and Kenma shared a look and Kuroo took in a deep breath.

“So… The reason I am so invested in whatever is going on between you and Akaashi is that the same happened to me and Kenma. “

What?

“You remember that Kenma was my setter in high school, right?”

Bokuto simply nodded.

“And then, suddenly, he stopped playing in college and I told you that it was because he realized this wasn’t what he wanted to do.”

Bokuto nodded again, not really knowing where it was heading.

“Well, I lied.”

“Why?”

Instead of Kuroo, it was Kenma who answered Bokuto’s question.

“Because the truth was, we got caught.”

“Caught?”

Kuroo whined and hid his face in his hands.

“We've been dating since middle school.”

“WHAT!?”

“You promised, Koutarou. Listen until the end.”

So Bokuto shut up and waited, but his mind was racing. Why haven’t they told him? Did Nekoma team know? Were they dating now? How long was he being lied to? But suddenly so many things made sense, like why Kuroo never dated anyone, even though he was very popular among women, why he decided to take part in this competition to be closer to Kenma, why he chose Oikawa to dance with and not some girl.

“We were caught in the university gym by our coach. He saw me and Kenma… kissing and immediately shouted at us to stop doing that and join him in the office. We did, sure we were going to get expelled or something, but the coach was really sympathetic. He told us he had nothing against us personally, but he advised us to break up.”

“That seems pretty against you to me.” Bokuto could help the words that escaped his mouth. True, he was still shocked and a bit hurt, but it didn’t change the fact that some asshole made his friends unhappy.

“Oh, no. He told us that there were scouts coming and they would be interested in Kuro, but would never take him if he had any sort of scandal attached to his name. Being in a homosexual relationship would ensure a quick end to his career.” Kenma explained, seemingly disinterested and looking at his phone, but Bokuto could feel how much it still hurt the ex-setter.

“So you…”

“I broke up with Kuro.”

“And two months later I was chosen for the Olympics.” Kuroo finished, sounding very tired all of a sudden.

“So you guys are… together?” He didn’t know why, but Bokuto really hoped they were. That there was some hope, that maybe they dated in secret, that they could be together even though they were not accepted.

“No.”

Bokuto could hear his heart breaking.

“But… You love each other, don’t you?” He was close to tears, he knew, but this was important and sure, volleyball was important, Olympics were important… But they knew they were going to the Olympics for a year now and that meant these two had been apart for so long and Bokuto couldn’t understand.

“Of course. And that’s why we are not together.” Kenma replied and Kuroo gave him a glance so sad that Bokuto cried right there. “Kuro would never be happy without volleyball  and if he chose me instead of the team we would start hating each other - guilt, anger and resentment driving us crazy.”

Kuroo nodded miserably and Bokuto was quite sure that Kuroo didn’t really think he would ever hate Kenma. But then again, Kenma knew a lot about people, so maybe he was right.

“So we made a promise. We would stay friends until the Olympics. If we still want to be together after that, I will quit volleyball and we will live together without any fear and without having to hide.” Kuroo added and it sounded sensible, it really did, but at the same time… It was awful.

“Are you happy?”

Kenma was looking at his phone, seemingly engrossed in his game.

Kuroo had his face still hidden in his hands.

This was stupid. Awful.

“Don’t you want to try? Kuroo had already been chosen, they can’t take it away from him, don’t you want to be together? And why quit volleyball, Kuroo, you love volleyball! You can have both, you know?”

“It’s not a risk we can take.”

“That’s cold, Kenma.”

“No, it’s rational. What would you feel if right before your dream came true, right before Olympics you were taken off the team and followed by press pestering you about being unnatural, unwelcome in the society, if you had to read in the papers, on the internet how people wished you were dead? It’s a long way to fall, Koutarou. And no matter how brave he is, I don’t want Kuroo to fall.”

That was heavy.

“I don’t understand it. People should be allowed to be together if they don’t hurt anyone by doing so!”

“Of course they should, Bo. But not everyone agrees and sometimes you can’t act like a protagonist, you know?”

*

Bokuto left Kenma and Kuroo together in the kitchen and moved to his bedroom, trying to wrap his head about everything that he had heard. This world was so unfair. Why did people think that they could tell other people how to live, how to love? Kuroo was a phenomenal player and as long as he kept on scoring points no one should care whom he dated.

It was none of their business, but Bokuto could remember clearly the media storm over some actor who turned out to have an illegitimate kid. Did it affect his acting? No, but no one wanted to hire him, because that would mean they condoned his actions. And just like that, the man’s career was over.

So Bokuto understood were they were coming from, he really did. But he had always thought that love was sticking with each other until the end, being together no matter the obstacles, always choosing the other person. This was love, the force to change the world, right? His parents simply didn’t love each other truly, if they couldn’t choose each other over the hurt of betrayal. Over the guilt… The guilt. Of course!

It was one thing to lose your career because you did something stupid, or because of a choice you’ve made. But to make someone lose everything they dreamed of, to be responsible for someone’s broken dreams, that would be horrible.

What if Bokuto made Akaashi lose his job?

What would he feel then?

Suddenly Bokuto understood Kenma and Kuroo a bit better.

*

The next day was strange to say the least.

Bokuto and Kuroo allowed themselves to sleep late and enjoyed the noon together, sitting on the coach and watching animal documentaries while eating everything in their fridge that did not require cooking, because they were that lazy. They did not talk about yesterday. Everything that needed to be said, was already said. Nothing changed.

At 4 p.m they were both at the studio, ready to face whatever new challenge was awaiting them.

“Oh, great, there you are. I thought you weren’t coming.” Oikawa hissed at them both and truly, he looked pissed.

“Oh? Are you still bitter that my solo routine was better than yours?” Bokuto asked, wriggling his eyebrows.

“Oh please, I could dance your routine much better… Oh, wait, I have!”

“You know, Oikawa, I think I should send your sweaty, exhausted face to Iwaizumi, he would be so grossed out he would never meet you again.”

Oikawa paled a bit and hissed in indignation.

“You are not texting Iwa-chan!”

“I just might, I will take his number from you phone~” Kuroo sing-sung and Bokuto cackled.

“Over my dead body!”

Kuroo and Bokuto laughed so loudly that someone opened a window of the studio and shouted at them to shut up.

*

Kokomi welcomed Bokuto as coldly as Bokuto expected she would. And Bokuto didn’t really have it in him to follow her and ask her what her deal was.

Only Konoha seemed to be in good spirits.

“Come on, you two, you can stop acting like a couple going through a break up, you are a team!”

Bokuto and Kokomi followed him to the couch, not sparing each other a glance. Ennoshita followed them, a camera in his hands. He didn’t look to happy either.

They sat down and the TV in front of them sprung to life, skipping through different channels and finally settling on something energetic with two man in black suits dancing on the screen. At least the rhythm was fast. Bokuto didn’t know if he could survive another slow dance with Kokomi, at least as long as the air around them didn’t clear up.

“We got _Everybody Needs Somebody_ , which is great because we can have some fun! You have to have this best friends energy around you, so maybe, start talking to each other, or something, but the steps will be rather easy. Especially for you, Bokuto, since you have done _Uptown Funk_ before.”

Bokuto shot Kokomi a glance of disbelief and was met with a twin expression on his partner’s face.

Apparently she was as thrilled as Bokuto was. Which was: not at all.

*

Practice truly helped, because Bokuto had less problems with memorizing the new moves than before. The only problem was that he mixed up the steps from _Funk_ with the new ones, which resulted in him dancing something totally different than what Konoha wanted.  Still, it was the first day of practice and he was still making some progress. Even Konoha seemed more amused than angry at his mistakes. The only problem they had was the part when Bokuto was supposed to lift Kokomi, because strength was not the problem, but the timing totally was.

Kokomi managed rather well and she would be a wonderful partner if she got rid of the scowl on her face. Really, this girl was an idol, she should be good at making people like her, shouldn’t she? And Bokuto wasn’t going to apologize until he knew what he had done wrong. And until Kokomi apologized to Akaashi, because he was the one who was punished for whatever conflict Bokuto and Kokomi had.

The training session ended on a rather cheerful note and Konoha waved goodbye to Bokuto as he lead Kokomi to a different room so that she could see what song she would be preparing solo for Saturday. Bokuto always wondered why she was moved to different rooms to practice, but he wasn’t really complaining. 

“Am I interrupting?” Came a soft voice from the direction of the door and Bokuto was on his feet faster than you could blink.

“AKAASHI!!” He shouted, barely stopping himself from tackling the dancer to the ground.

“It’s good to see you too, Bokuto-san.”

“Did you see how well it went on Saturday?! I was awesome and even the guys from the team messaged me that it was amazing how well I moved and that it was so hard to get the steps right, so now they are impressed and it’s all thanks to you, because you showed them how badass dancing was! ”

“I think it was your achievement too, Bokuto-san. You did dance it alone, after all.”

“I totally did!” Bokuto grinned, because Akaashi’s praise was the best!” Hey, hey, hey!”

Akaashi raised his eyebrows at that. “Hey, hey, hey?” he repeated, his voice curious. Bokuto suddenly felt embarrassed.

“Yeah, sorry. It’s something I used to do in high school whenever I scored a point, it’s like a battle cry? Or a celebratory shout maybe? I don’t know, I thought I stopped doing that in the uni. Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. It’s very…you.” Akaashi admitted and he looked a bit red, but it might have been lightning.

“Speaking of high school, did you mean it? Were you really a setter?” Akaashi moved past him and started to rummage through Konoha’s things next to the radio, probably looking for the routine Bokuto was supposed to master this time. He finally raised from his knees, his attention on a piece of paper. Bokuto waited. He knew Akaashi was not ignoring him, just searching for the right words to tell him.

“Yes. I was going to play volleyball at high school, but I didn’t get into the high school I wanted and the one I got into didn’t have a volleyball team, so I found a new hobby.”

Bokuto’s brows furrowed.

“So you don’t play anymore? Not at all?”

“Not really. I don’t have the time, to be honest. I teach classes, I dance at the show and I have private sessions with a very important volleyball player, so I usually sleep through all of my weekends. Sometimes I eat, even.” Bokuto squawked.

“Akaashi, that is not healthy! Also, you should play with me sometime, you are probably perfect at setting, but if you are not then I could practice with you and repay you the trouble of staying with me after practices!”

“It’s no trouble Bokuto-san, I do it for Japan.” Akaashi retorted, as usual in a perfect deadpan.

“Let’s go over the steps, shall we?” He added after a round of offended sounds from Bokuto.

“Fine, but I will make you play volleyball with me yet, just you wait!”

Akaashi sighed heavily.

The music started playing and Akaashi started to guide Bokuto through different steps, giving him prompts and correcting his stance from time to time.

After he was more or less satisfied with Bokuto’s movements, he took up Kokomi’s place and started to go through her part and Bokuto felt at ease instantly. This could be fun!

He still had bit of a problem with lifting his partner at the right moment, and lifting Akaashi was strange, mostly because he had to hold him tightly in his arms and it made his heart beat a lot faster than it should, even though Akaashi wasn’t much heavier than Kokomi.

Still, they managed to dance the routine three times, when the doors opened and two people entered.

Bokuto put Akaashi down and turned to look at the newcomers.

His blood ran cold when he saw who that was.

Daishou and Kokomi, who looked clearly uncomfortable.

“Akaashi, dear, since you seem to have a lot of free time in the evenings…” Here, Daishou sent a nasty smile in Bokuto’s direction.”… I thought you might help our poor Kokomi. She feels excluded and unloved in the group and since it was you who started playing favourites it seems obvious to ask you, isn’t it?” Akaashi withstood the man's gaze with his usual nonplussed expression on his face.

“I suppose so. What do you need help with, Kokomi-san?” Kokomi refused to meet Akaashi’s eyes and remained silent. The more Bokuto looked at her, the more certain he grew – she was here against her will.

“In her solo act. We need two dancers ready to work with her all the time, this will be one of the best routines in this show, I’m sure of it.” Daishou continued and Bokuto was now sure that if there was one person he could never like, it was that producer. Everything he said sounded hostile and smug.

“If Kokomi-san wants my help, then of course I will be happy to help.” Kokomi simply nodded, still not looking at any of them.

“Perfect! I am sorry Bokuto-san, but this time you will have to dance alone, Akaashi will have to do your job and pay attention to your partner. Let us start right away!” The producer announced in a cheerful voice and he left the room, Kokomi in tow.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi said softly and then he left the room as well.

Bokuto was alone.

They have taken Akaashi away from him.

Why?

*

He couldn't meet up with Akaashi for a week. On Wednesday when Akaashi and the rest of the dancers joined them for practice they managed to exchange few words only, because whenever they started to talk, Kokomi approached Akaashi with some kind of question and Bokuto was left alone. The rest of the dancers weren't happy but they did their job. 

Volleyball practices were alright, even though Bokuto lacked the energy and spirit to truly get into it.

Thursday and Friday were busy and Akaashi was forced to practice with Kokomi, so Bokuto came back home earlier and spent the evenings with Kuroo, who was strangely understanding and even agreed to watch even more documentaries with Bokuto, just to keep him content. A true friend, indeed.

Still, he couldn't help Bokuto in figuring out what was going on. Why did they take Akaashi from him? And why was Kokomi so unhappy now?

The answer came on Saturday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kenma is rather informal, so I guess he would call Bokuto by his name.
> 
> I also refer to Bokuto by his surname because if everyone is addressing him by his surname then it makes sense that the narrator should too. Hope it doesn't bother you!
> 
> Also, bokuto is hitting new levels of oblivious, I know, but cut him some slack, he has never been in love before.
> 
> Thank you a lot for kudos and comments, you are the best!


	5. OMG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your support, you all rock! I hope you had a wonderful Easter time :)

**Kokomi-chan – OMG – Dance Dance Dance Official Video**

**Comments (548):**

**JustDance4Ever:** HOLY SHIT, KOKOMI-CHAN!!! ASDFFGGHGJKK

 **KissKissFall:** I am in love with the dancer, like woah.

 **BokutoGo: 3:40** \- You can pin point the exact moment Bokuto’s heart breaks

 **Yada93:** I think it was scripted, the camera panned on him too accurately

 **VioletEverdeen:** It’s the same dancer all the time, what gives?

 **DancingThroughLife:** That’s Akaashi Keiji and he’s still breaking up couples, I see.

 **Koko-chan5Ever:** I HATE HIM.

 **Grimmjawsss:** Kokomi is too hot, damn

 **TseTze:** This is a love triangle, isn’t it? But is Kokomi or Akaashi ‘the other woman’?

 **AragataShinji:**  Akaashi is a pretty and skilled dancer but he should stop meddling in people’s love lives. You remember the pure heartbreak on Kokomi-chan’s face when they danced The Call? She was jealous for real and now Bokuto knows how it feels. I am sure they will start dating before the show is over and Akaashi will be just a bad memory. If he keeps on acting the way he does, worming his way into every performance, they will get tired of him and he will be off the show! **(Read more)**

*****

Bokuto didn’t watch the newest episode. He spent the whole Sunday in his room, pretending he didn’t exist. Which was a continuation of his preferred activity from Saturday.

He was going to stay in this bed and pretend his life wasn’t happening to him. Kuroo tried to be helpful, he really did and any other day Bokuto would appreciate the effort, but right now he was tired of people. Of himself. And of this fucking show.

He couldn’t stop his mind from replaying that evening.

They had done their bit but the conflict between Bokuto and Kokomi and the lack of training with Akaashi took their toll on their performance. They were ranked the lowest and Shimizu-san told them that whatever was going on between them was making them out of sync and almost painful to watch.

She probably had her little script too, drawing attention to the little drama brewing in Bokuto’s team. That was what Daishou wanted, wasn’t it? A televised conflict. He sure got one.

Bokuto remembered being down because of their subpar marks and he could recall his resolve to talk to Kokomi and clear up some air, but the middle of the studio was hardly a place to have a heart to heart in, so he waited. He had cheered for other contestants, he had whistled when Kuroo and Oikawa performed a badass routine to some song from _Attack on Titan_ and he had been almost alright with being the last. Almost.

He had felt like he disappointed Akaashi, like he had made the dancer’s efforts go to waste because he couldn’t get along with his partner. But that was another conversation he had planned to have later then, after the whole show was over he had planned to find Akaashi and apologize for everything, for being forced away from Bokuto, for ruining his work by messing up the routine… He had wanted to talk to Akaashi.

And then the solo acts started.

They were cool, Oikawa was perfect as Taylor Swift and he even mouthed along _Look What You Made Me Do_ which the jury criticized, but the audiences loved him for it.

Bokuto almost had fun.

And then the stage changed into something like a desert, with pyramids and everything and the lights went off.

When they came back on, Kokomi was in the middle of the stage, dressed in some Arabian-looking gown, her midriff bare and a black cat mask on her face. On her both sides she had male dancers, dressed only in dark Arabian pants and black jackal masks.

The music started and some woman moaned ‘ _Oh My God’_ and Bokuto couldn’t agree more.

The trio’s movements were insane, their gestures fluid like water, their moves perfectly synchronized. When Kokomi and her two partners went down to all fours, balancing on their hands, cocking their heads like cats, the crowd went insane.

When they withered wrapped in each other, some people wolf-whistled, loud enough to be heard over the pseudo-eastern beat.

Bokuto couldn’t stop looking, even though his heart constricted in the most painful way. Akaashi was taken especially to perform this routine. So…

Kokomi took off her mask, revealing her face adorned with Egyptian-looking make up and she gave a sultry look in the direction of the camera.

Arms wrapped around her from behind and she turned to take off the mask of the dancer who held her. Bokuto didn’t know him, but the crowd cheered. The unknown dancer let her go and fell on his knees, as if worshipping her.

Kokomi moved to the second dancer and they danced together for what felt like eternity, their bodies practically touching, flowing, moving in that smooth motions…

“It’s like looking at them having sex on the stage.” Kuroo whispered next to him.

It was exactly like that.

The dancer’s arms wrapped around Kokomi’s waist and she took off his mask as well.

Bokuto should have been ready.

He wasn’t.

It was one thing to know that Kokomi was getting handsy with some dancer and that Akaashi was somehow involved.

But to see Akaashi, half-naked, his eyes also lined with black kohl or whatever that was, staring so intensely into Kokomi’s eyes…

They were in perfect sync, their eyes not leaving each other for a moment and then Akaashi went down on his knees and Kokomi moved back to the second dancer.

The song finished with the three of them standing, Kokomi’s arms around Akaashi’s neck, while the other dancer had his arms around her waist again.

When the three of them stared into the camera the crowd went crazy.

And Bokuto’s heart broke a little.

*

Now that he was in his bed, he tried to wrap his head around the reasons why. It wasn’t like he didn’t know that Akaashi would dance with Kokomi, he was well-aware of the fact. It wasn’t that he didn’t know their routine, because, really, why should he?

But looking at them hurt and Bokuto couldn’t make it stop.

Kuroo had watched the Sunday episode to do ‘damage control’ as he called it, but Bokuto didn’t care.

He couldn’t understand himself at all.

All he could think about were Kokomi’s hands on Akaashi’s chest.

And the way Akaashi kept staring at her, like she was the only thing he could see, like she was the only thing that mattered.

He didn’t even like Kokomi. He didn’t know her, hadn’t spent time with her, but he still managed to look enthralled, to look as invested as he was when dancing with Bokuto…

Bokuto went to sleep dreaming of the touch of pale hands and grey eyes.

*

Monday came and Bokuto made no move to leave his bed.

He didn’t care about practice.

He told Kuroo as much and Kuroo gave him a pitying look but didn’t fight him. Apparently whatever Kuroo saw on the Sunday airing was bad enough that he decided to let Bokuto wallow in self-pity.

So Bokuto skipped the volleyball practice.

He firmly ignored his phone blaring the whole time.

Why was he so angry? Why was he so hurt? How could he make anyone work with him now, when he was just a useless piece of garbage that couldn’t figure himself out? How could he be dependable player when he couldn’t manage his own head? How?

Around 2 p.m he was roused from his stupor by somebody knocking on the door.

Kuroo had forgotten his keys again.

Well, the door was open, so he should just let himself in.

The knocking persisted.

Irritated, Bokuto got up and moved to the hall to let Kuroo in and throw some choice words at his head for being annoying, but when he opened the door, it wasn’t Kuroo standing there.

It was Akaashi.

“Can I come in?”

_No. Please, go away. You are confusing._

_Yes. Please, stay, I missed you._

_I don’t know what to do._

_I don’t know what happened._

All of these answers were true, but somehow not enough. So Bokuto simply moved away from the threshold, inviting Akaashi inside with a gesture.

He wasn’t sure what to do now.

Akaashi seemed not to mind, for he took off his shoes and moved to the kitchen, putting bags on the table and immediately moving towards the kettle.

Bokuto closed the door and followed him, waiting for explanation.

“We need to talk, Bokuto-san. But before we do, you should take a shower. I shall prepare tea in the meantime. Is that acceptable?”

_Why are you in my house?_

_How did you know where I live?_

_Why are so confusing?_

“Yes.” He replied instead, and moved to the bathroom.

Taking a shower helped a little. Maybe not to get some answers, but to regain his composure.

He moved back to the kitchen wearing a fresh pair of pants and a t-shirt, still toweling his hair. Akaashi was waiting for him with the promised cup of tea. Bokuto accepted the tea and gave Akaashi what he thought was a questioning look.

“Wonderful. Now, please sit down and listen to what I have to say, Bokuto-san.”

So Bokuto sat down.

“I understand you are upset and I can only guess why.”

Bokuto chuckled at that, no mirth in his tone.

“Your guess is as good as mine, Akaashi.” He replied, trying not to betray how much this whole thing affected him. Judging from the way Akaashi’s eyes softened, he wasn’t very successful.

“Being somebody’s partner for a long time creates a bond. You work closely together, you trust each other. You touch constantly. It creates this illusion of intimacy, a feeling of ownership of a kind.  It is not uncommon to become emotionally involved.”

Here, Akaashi took a sip of his tea and Bokuto replayed his words in his head, trying to make some sense of them.

“So what you are saying is I’m… jealous?”

“In a way.” Akaashi replied, not meeting Bokuto’s eyes. “We are not in a relationship and there is nothing romantic in our interactions, but there was trust and since we were working together a lot, it is understandable you didn’t like it when I did the same thing with someone else.”

Bokuto simply nodded, still incredulous.

“It’s like watching your best friend with whom you played in team for a long time, suddenly play the game with someone else. It was your thing for so long, and suddenly they are having fun with others. Nobody likes that.”

Akaashi was full of understanding and Bokuto almost believed him. It sounded reasonable, he wouldn’t have liked it if he learned that Kuroo cleared another level of _Little Big Planet_ with Kenma, even though he had been playing it with Bokuto for months.  But he wouldn’t have felt so bad because of that. He wouldn’t have skipped practice. He wouldn’t have been so hurt.

“I think you are wrong, Akaashi.”

Akaashi paused at that, raising his eyebrows in a silent question.

“You describe the situation as if it is impersonal, as if this could happen with anyone. But it didn’t. It happened because it was you. Because she took you away from me and you were touching her and looking at her, like she was the only thing that mattered to you, like I… Like I didn’t…” Bokuto’s voice betrayed him here, so he looked away and drank from his cup, trying to organize his thoughts.

Akaashi remained silent, staring at the tea in his hands as if it held all the answers.

“I missed you, Akaashi and you not looking in my direction even once hurt a lot.”

“I’m sorry. But it was a performance and…”

“I don’t blame you. I’m just trying to make sense of my own feelings.”

“Oh.”

They sat in silence for a while, both too focused on sorting through their emotions to even attempt any small talk.

It felt strange, to talk to Akaashi about his feelings. Normally he loved talking about feelings, because he believed they were something amazing, a force granted to humans so that they could move mountains and become better people. He hated when others referred to feelings like they were algorithms or chemical reactions. They weren’t, they were so much more. To hear Akaashi refer to them in such a detached way…

“Have you watched the episode?” Akaashi asked, his tone calm as always.

“No, but Kuroo had. How bad is it?”

“They want my head on a pike and cannot decide if you are in love with Kokomi or me.”

That got Bokuto thinking.

“Am I?”

“Are you what?”

“Am I in love with you?”

Akaashi refused to meet his eyes.

“Of course not, Bokuto-san.”

*

Akaashi left half an hour later, leaving some take out dinner for Bokuto in the kitchen.

“I’m sorry for all the discomfort I caused you, Bokuto-san. This week you won’t be dancing with me so maybe you will be able to create a bond with Kokomi-san.” Akaashi said, almost out of the door.

“Why? You don’t want to dance with me?” Bokuto was aware he was whining, but that was cold, to tell him something so crucial after coming here to make Bokuto feel better and important.

“I want to.” Akaashi replied, quietly, as if he was hoping Bokuto couldn’t hear. But he did hear.

“So why don’t you?”

Akaashi sighed.

“Because they made me a juror.”

“WHAAAT?”

“Bokuto-san, please, not so loud. Your neighbours don’t need to know.”

“Oh, right…”

“Sugawara-san has some private matters to attend to and cannot be present on Saturday, so I was chosen as his replacement. Since I am to grade your performance, I cannot exactly help you with it.”

“That’s unfair!” Bokuto wailed, once again forgetting about his neighbours. He sounded like a child, but he couldn’t care less, because really, why did this show insist on taking Akaashi away from him?

“I’m sorry, if I could do anything to…” That got Bokuto’s attention. There was something he had wanted to do since that awful Backstreet Boys routine…

“You can!”

That took Akaashi by surprise, his eyebrows shooting up almost comically.

“Play volleyball with me, Akaashi!”

“Bokuto-san, taking the media into consideration we shouldn’t…”

“What, exist? I’m asking you to set for me, not to marry me secretly.” Bokuto said, suddenly full of excitement happy with just a perspective of playing with Akaashi.

He didn’t notice Akaashi’s red ears and downcast expression.

“I will… Think about it.” Was all he got as a reply, but it was alright because Akaashi wasn’t opposed to spending time with him! He waved at Akaashi’s retreating back and came back to his flat.

Suddenly his mood seemed much better.

*

When he arrived at the dancing practice, he was met with incredulous stares. Some of the dancers approached him with supportive pats on the back and Komi even told him that ‘he used to have a crush on Akaashi too, hurts like bitch when you look at him, but it passes’ and Bokuto was now sure he should have seen that Sunday episode because apparently people knew something he definitely didn’t.

Before he could ask Komi what he meant, and what the lot of them were even doing here on the Monday practice, Konoha entered the room with Kokomi in tow.

“Alright, before we start, I think you two need to talk. I refuse to work with you two angry at each other.” Konoha announced and gestured the dancers outside. After giving them one glare that suggested hell to pay if they didn't resolve the matter, Konoha left too, closing the door behind him.

Kokomi and Bokuto were left alone.

“So…” He wasn’t exactly prepared for what he wanted to tell her. Was he angry at her? Disappointed with her?

“I am sorry, Bokuto.”

Huh?

When he looked at her, Kokomi was crying, her head down and her shoulders trembling.

What happened? 

“Err…? Sure, I mean… What are you sorry for, exactly?” Kokomi looked up at him, her make up smudged because of the tears.

“For everything!” She exclaimed and sat down on the floor, dabbing at her eyes, trying to regain some of composure. And people called Bokuto dramatic.

“That sounds a lot like me, so I’m going to quote Kuroo and say: You need to be more specific.” Bokuto replied, sitting down in front of the poor idol. She sniffed a bit, but got a hold of herself and when she finally replied, her voice was steady, although quiet.

“Our team up was my idea. My agent wanted me to change my image. I am not getting younger and I cannot remain an idol when I’m thirty. So we thought, maybe, if I changed my image from a lovely girl to an adult, desired woman, my transition from being an idol into being a proper singer would be more welcome.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

Kokomi gave him a sad smile.

“You were the most approachable and likeable player on our national team. Daishou contacted my agent and told him that he knows exactly how to change my image. We needed someone friendly and well-liked to work with me, so that people would want some romance to bloom.”

Although Bokuto wouldn’t call himself especially sharp, some things started to make sense now.

“Daishou insisted on Akaashi joining our team, didn’t he?”

Kokomi shrugged.

“I don’t know for sure, but he did say that Akaashi’s reputation would work in our favour. We were to create an illusion of a romantic triangle, you and Akaashi both fighting for my affections or something like that. Nothing was supposed to be real, just enough to make the viewers interested, intrigued. To make them see me as someone desirable.” She admitted, embarrassment clear on her face.

Bokuto had thousand questions now, but Kokomi wasn't done, so he waited.

“But that backfired spectacularly, didn’t it? You and Akaashi became friends and neither of you was paying any attention to me and now because of me you and Akaashi got hurt and… I was angry, sure, and my pride was hurt because hello, I was supposed to be a heroine here and you just ran off together, so I admit, I didn’t have my temper under control then… But it still does not excuse the way I behaved.”

Well, it didn't. But Bokuto would be the world's bigger hypocrite if he started to criticize the girl for letting her emotions get the better of her.

“I understand you, really. Sometimes emotions are just too much and even though you try to keep them inside, you simply can’t and then you regret ever having them.” He replied, giving her his best encouraging smile.

Kokomi gave him one of her own, a small, unsure smile of gratitude.

“So, after watching Sunday episode I realized I fucked up.” She concluded and Bokuto gasped in shock.

“Kokomi-chan, you are a role model to children, you can’t use foul language!”

She laughed at that.

“I almost tore two people in love apart on national TV with my bare midriff, I can swear all I want.” She replied, her tone light and Bokuto was busy laughing with her so at first it slipped past him, but then it hit him.

“Wait, two people in love?”

Kokomi gave him pitying look.

“What, you didn’t know if he liked you back? That’s cute. Ask him which high school he applied to, really, I thought you two were a thing already.”

It didn’t make any sense, did it?

“But I’m not in love with Akaashi?” He asked, more than stated and Kokomi’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“I mean, I asked Akaashi and he told me…” It didn’t make much sense either, now that he thought about it. Why did Akaashi tell him that? How would Akaashi know? Wasn't it for Bokuto to decide?

Kokomi gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“I see I’m not the only one causing mess, it is uplifting in a way.” She said, her voice almost sympathetic.

She got up, brushing the dust off her knees.

“I won’t tell you what to feel and what not to feel, I’ve done my share of damage already. But trust me, when you watch that episode you will realize – on Saturday evening you were definitely in love with Akaashi and that broke your heart.”

It did.

Was he in love with Akaashi?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I've tortured Bokuto long enough, let's torture Akaashi a bit, why not. 
> 
> The song referenced in this chapter is OMG by Arash and Snoop Dog, the music video is strange af but very inspiring.
> 
> Feel free to shout at me in the comments and see you next chapter!


	6. Pony

„Bo, I love you and you are my best bro forever, but you are a moron.” Kuroo said with an exasperated sigh as Bokuto finished telling him everything that happened from the moment Kuroo had left him alone in their apartment. Akaashi’s visit, the talk with Kokomi, the strange song selection he was given – he told Kuroo everything and that was what he got? Harsh.

“I asked you for help, not for judgment.”

“Mate, you don’t ask your crush if you like them! You just don’t this, it is in the rules somewhere!” Kuroo replied, ignoring Bokuto’s pout. He continued pacing on their kitchen floor looking like a general looking at his soldier’s incompetence.

“Didn’t know there were any rules.”

“There should be, just for you! I’ll write them for you if I have to! Rule number one: You don’t ask your crush if you are in love with them!” Here Kuroo finally sat down.

“Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time! Akaashi is very smart, and he is good at reading people, so I thought that he would be able to tell me!”

Kuroo gave him a tired look.

“That would be adorable, if it wasn’t so stupid.” Bokuto opened his mouth to voice the indignation he felt, but Kutoo beat him to it.” No matter what you feel, his answer would be always ‘no’, that’s the problem.”

That gave Bokuto a pause. Did Akaashi lie to him, then? Or maybe he was like Bokuto, unaware and unsure?

“Why?” Instead of answering, Kuroo got up and disappeared in his bedroom. Probably gone to retrieve some kind of book, relevant poster, or a prop to better illustrate his dramatic point. He did that often each time Bokuto managed to mess up spectacularly, and no matter how much he refused to admit it, Kuroo had a knack for teaching people. And more often than not, Bokuto ended up being his poor, misguided student.

True to Bokuto’s suspicions, Kuroo came back with a piece of paper and a pen.

He sat down and started to write on the paper.

“Option A: Akaashi doesn’t know if you like him or not. Being in love with your friend is confusing, so he tells you ‘no’ to spare you both the awkwardness.”

Next to Option A, Kuroo drew two very confused stickmen. One had dark hair, the other- some strange hairdo that looked like horns. It made sense that even as a stickman Akaashi was much prettier than Bokuto.  Above the two stickmen Kuroo wrote “BROS” and Bokuto realized that he was disappointed. Stickman!Bokuto deserved better.

“Option B: Akaashi knows you are infatuated with him, but doesn’t like you back. So he tells you ‘no’, hoping you will doubt your feelings and decide that you were mistaken. Maybe he doesn’t like men, but likes you as a friend. This way his feelings are spared, your feelings are spared, everyone is happy.” Here, Kuroo drew another stickmen, this time Stickman!Akaashi was facing away from Stickman!Bokuto and Stickman!Bokuto had a broken heart above his head. Poor stickman, really. “HEARTBREAK: AVOIDED” Kuroo wrote, but Stickman!Biokuto’s face begged to differ. Even his horns looked sad.

“Option C: Akaashi likes you back, but is afraid. If you don’t know and you ask him if you like him, then you probably don’t, poor Akaashi decides, so he tells you ‘no’ because he doesn’t want to have his hopes up and he doesn’t want you to like him because he told you to.” This time it was Stickman!Akaashi that got a broken heart above his head. Stickman! Bokuto was surrounded by a bunch of question marks.

“Option D: Akaashi likes you back but there is a good reason for you two to never be together. He has a secret husband, belongs to a mafia, killed your father, is your secret brother and/or a vampire.” 

This time drawing took Kuroo a while and when he was finished, Bokuto saw a picture of Vampire-Stickman!Akaashi bent over Stickman!Bokuto’s dead and bloodied body. Nice. And Kuroo said Bokuto should stop watching so many romances.

“I really hate to be a part of this conversation, but option E: you are on live TV so any affair between the two of you could be used against you?” Bokuto jumped at Kenma’s voice, mostly because he forgot Kenma was even here. The man was way too quiet and he blended with his surroundings like a ninja. Bokuto was kinda envious.

“Oh. Right. That is included in Option D: A Reason Why They Can’t Be Together, you weren’t listening.” Kuroo defended and Kenma just rolled his eyes.

“You mentioned secret husbands and vampires, Kuro.”

“Just some examples! I absolutely took the TV into account!” Any other time Bokuto would be happy to join in the banter and defend Kuroo with all of his might, but his mind travelled back to the stickmen. When Kuroo explained it like that, it was obvious why Akaashi said ‘no’. It was also obvious that Bokuto pushed the responsibility of figuring out his feelings on Akaashi, and that wasn’t fair.

He looked at different stages of Stickman!Bokuto. He was never happy. Because he wasn’t with Akaashi. Kuroo managed to convey that feeling pretty well. And truly, Bokuto could relate. Since his talk with Kokomi, all that he could think about was Akaashi. How he missed him during the training, how he wanted to ask him if he was angry with him for botching the dance, if he wanted to still meet up Bokuto during this week, would they play volleyball together?

He had always thought that falling in love was sudden, you were struck by lightning and you simply knew that you loved this person and would love them until the end. But with Akaashi it was different. Gradual. And yes, he remembered how in awe he had been regarding Akaashi’s looks, but then again, who wasn’t? Just because someone is attractive, it doesn’t mean you are in love with them. But Akaashi was so much more… He was caring, funny, intelligent, patient, brave, talented… He was so many things. And he was perfect.

“Guys! I am TOTALLY in love with Akaashi!”

“Congrats.”

“Good job figuring it out, bro! What now?”

Bokuto looked at Kuroo and Kenma. These two were in love but couldn’t be together, and Bokuto’s heart felt for them, but this wasn’t for him. He wanted to date Akaashi. To make him happy, not stressed that they have to run from the world. He wanted to introduce Akaashi as his boyfriend to others, wanted to hold his hand while walking down the street. He wanted to be with Akaashi.

“I’m going to ask him out!”

*

This proved to be quite difficult. Even though Bokuto was now in the possession of Akaashi’s phone number, all he managed to write was a simple ‘hi, it’s me’ and an owl meme to which Akaashi replied ‘Hello, Bokuto-san.’ And that was it. It didn’t help that after their talk yesterday, Kuroo and Kenma made him watch that blasted Sunday episode and Bokuto could finally see how affected he had been that fateful night. Seriously, his expression was so shocked and heartbroken, he had no idea. And now everybody had seen it. The whole world _knew_. Akaashi definitely knew, he was smart. And Bokuto was screwed.

Tuesday came and as Bokuto arrived at the dancing studio he was no closer to asking Akaashi out than he was two days ago.

He waved goodbye to Kuroo and Oikawa and entered his own practice room, which was, surprisingly full.

Konoha and Kokomi were not exactly a surprise, but the rest of the dancers sitting on the floor certainly was.

“Hey, Bokuto! We are strategizing!” Komi shouted, waving his hand and gesturing to the place next to him. Still surprised, Bokuto obediently sat down next to Komi.

“Alright, now that everyone is here, I can start. You probably wonder why I gathered you all in this room…” Kokomi said and Sarukui snickered and earned himself Shirofuku’s elbow in the ribs.” I have been… selfish, to put it mildly lately and caused you a lot of grief. I’ve already talked to Bokuto-san and apologized and I can only hope that at some point he will forgive me.”

All of the eyes turned to him and he nodded, not sure what to say and where this was going.

“Akaashi-san is not here, so I can tell you openly – our producer, Daishou Suguru has it out for him and wants to use him as a way to promote me. You know about Akaashi-san’s past…” A wave of murmurs and nodding.”… And you know how he had been forced into the spotlight lately. Since this is partially my fault, I decided to ask you for your help to fix this.”

“Oooh, are we finally going to tell him we all like him as a person and not as his skillset?” Shirofuku asked and glared at Konoha for some reason. Konoha just looked away. Bokuto wanted to ask, but Komi punched him in the arm and whispered ‘later'. Rubbing his arm, Bokuto turned his attention back to Kokomi.

“We are going to change the dynamic between myself and Bokuto-san into one of a genuine friendship.”

“How?” Asked Onaga, the youngest dancer in the group that usually stuck with Akaashi. Bokuto hadn’t talked to him yet, but Akaashi mentioned him sometimes.

“By copying Kuroo-san and Oikawa-san.” Kokomi replied and took a deep breath, visibly getting ready to explain and trying to find the courage to do so.

“The media leave them alone because it is clear they are just friends. They tease each other, they have fun while dancing and they are hilarious during the training montages. They don’t run away from Yachi and Tsukishima after their performance and they make it work. We can do that too.”

Maybe it was because of their talk earlier, but Bokuto could see how stressed the girl was. How afraid of rejection, of being told that this was all her fault and that no one would work with her. It was a familiar feeling, really, so Bokuto stood up and shouted in his loudest voice “Let’s do it!”

“Yes, but how?” this was Washio, another dancer Bokuto knew only from Akaashi’s tales and had never spoken with. Akaashi was pretty well-liked in this group, apparently. Before Bokuto could ponder on that, his mind registered the question Washio asked.

“Yes, exactly, Kokomi, how?” A few dancers laughed at him and the air in the room lightened a bit.

“Spoiler alert, don’t quote me on that, but your songs are already set. They are so romantic and/or teasing that the fans will trip over themselves to look at your videos and find any resemblance of your rumoured affair.” Konoha supplied.” If you make it into the finals, and you probably will because of this whole will they/won’t they triangle we have, you will be dancing to the most shippy songs the producer could find.”

They all fell silent, including Kokomi who looked crushed. The girl meant well, not her fault it wasn’t so easy to cheat the system… Maybe if it had been Kuroo… They could have fun with this song, they could over-act and… Wait.

“I am a genius!”

“And very modest, Bokuto. Would you like to share with the class?” Konoha deadpanned and the room erupted with laughter.

“We cannot change the song, but we can change the roles! Let us have Kokomi as the seductive killer in a suit and everything, I can be an innocent maiden!”

It was quiet for a moment and then Komi snickered.

“You just want to wear the dress.”

“No! I will… I will… I will be a poor, innocent shepherd boy or whatever, the point is that we can dance to this song and still make it a bit funny. That’s what Kuroo and Oikawa would do if they got this song!” Bokuto defended and Konoha’s face turned pensive.

“I would have to talk to the costume department, but if they agree, that could work. Sure, Daishou would be furious, but maybe this would take the heat off you. “

“Aaand we will see Kokomi-chan in a suit, that is always a treat.” Teased Shirofuku and Kokomi blushed slightly.

“Let’s do it!” Bokuto exclaimed and was some more or less excited cheers answered him. They were going to rock it!

*

The practice was alright and Ennoshita, absent from their strategy meeting because ‘he was of the enemy’ was surprised to see so many people goofing around all of a sudden. When no longer pressed to convey the fatal infatuation of Kokomi that led to her death, the pair of them managed to have fun. Sure, the steps didn’t get any easier, but Bokuto slouching down so that Kokomi could hover over him menacingly was too funny to miss. At the end of the practice Ennoshita was grinning and Bokuto was sure that this time their training montage would be so much better than Kuroo’s.

“I think we did great, Kokomi!” Bokuto shouted and Kokomi gave him a genuine smile.

“Yes, this can be a start of a beautiful friendship.” She replied and left him to his own training for the solo routine. To Bokuto’s astonishment, Washio and Komi stayed as well.

“Your routine requires you to work well with other dancers, and since they are already here we can use them.” Konoha said darkly and left the room to search for props.

“Well, he is going to be pissed for a while.”Komi commented and began to stretch.

“Yes, Shirofuku has her way of getting under his skin. I am still not sure whether she likes him or not.”

Bokuto’s curiosity was definitely piqued.

“Can you now explain what is going on?”

Komi and Washio exchanged looks.

“Well… It’s not exactly our place to say, but Shirofuku kinda dragged you into it, so here goes… Konoha and Akaashi used to date, I think. I don’t know for sure, but they were close. And then they weren’t, they avoided each other as much as they could. So we got worried, because hey, we work together, but we are still friends, right?” Komi said and Bokuto felt a pang in his heart at the mention of Akaashi dating Konoha. Well, there went the question whether Akaashi even liked men, but there was a long jump between liking men and liking Bokuto, and if he liked Konoha, then he probably didn’t like Bokuto at all, because he wasn’t anything like Konoha, and people had types, didn’t they and…

“Shirofuku managed to get Akaashi drunk at some point and she learned that Konoha told Akaashi something like ‘I liked the way we danced, not you personally, sorry’ or something like that. She was furious. We thought she was going to kill Konoha on spot, thankfully Kaori stopped her. It took a lot of time to get them working together again.” Komi continued and Bokuto’s heart broke a little.

What if someone dated him and then told him, ‘Sorry Bokuto, I was in love with your spikes, your personality is horrible’. What if Akaashi told him that? But Akaashi hadn’t seen him play, had he? No, he knew who Bokuto was, so even if Bokuto asked him and Akaashi said yes, would it be because he liked the way Bokuto played? Being in love was so confusing!!!

“Is that the reason why Konoha no longer dances but creates choreography?” Bokuto asked instead of having his internal panic swallow him whole.

“Yes, basically. But we kept in touch and he is still part of the group, officially, so it’s not like we hate him. And Akaashi seems cool with him already. I think Konoha regrets his actions deeply, still.”

“Huh?”

It was Washio who replied this time: “He got very overprotective when it came to Akaashi. You should listen to him go on a rant regarding Daishou. The mouth on our choreographer, you wouldn’t believe.”

Bokuto wanted to ask more, wanted to know if Akaashi had been happy with Konoha, how long had they been dating? Was Akaashi still in love with Konoha? But he remained silent, because he wanted those answers from Akaashi himself.

As if summoned, Konoha came back to the room dragging three chairs behind him.

*

Bokuto got an earful from his coach for missing the Monday practice, additionally he got a lecture from Oikawa that if he was bent on wearing his heart on the sleeve, then he could at least be wary of cameras.  Thankfully Kuroo proved himself to be the best bro ever and hit Oikawa with a volleyball in the middle of the lecture which allowed Bokuto to escape.

Weeks of training two different disciplines started to take their toll on his body. Although he could now use muscles he wasn’t aware he had, he could feel how exhausted his body felt. He used to have endless stamina and while the energy kept on brimming inside him, his body couldn’t keep up. He didn’t miss his spikes yet, but his serves today were nothing to write home about. He needed to rest.

Maybe he should start failing his routines and be thrown off the show? That would solve all of his problems, he would have only volleyball to worry about, his life would be his own again with no one commenting about his supposed feelings on the internet. He would be free. All he had to do was lose.

Lose and disappoint Kokomi, who was now ready to start a fight with the producers. Disappoint himself, after he had learned so much, after he had given so much of his time and energy to learn something new. Disappoint Akaashi, who went out of his way to help Bokuto even though he didn’t have to, who took the media’s rage on himself just because he was beautiful and talented.

Losing was not an option.

Because Bokuto Koutarou was many things, but a loser was not one of them.

He just needed a bit of rest.

When he finally got home he didn’t have the energy to wrestle Kuroo for the right to use the shower first. He collapsed on the couch instead and looked at his phone.

He almost dropped it in surprise.

There was a message. From Akaashi.

‘I heard about your revolutionary meeting from Komi. I cannot wait to see your performance.’

Akaashi was the best.

And he talked to Bokuto first, which meant he wanted to talk to him! Akaashi liked him, at least a little bit!

Without thinking much, Bokuto pressed ‘call’.

Akaashi picked up after a few rings.

“Hello?”

“AKAASHI! Thank you for your message! It means you are thinking of me and I’m not the only one missing our meetings and you do like talking to me, don’t you?” It came out much to rushed and Bokuto wanted to apologize immediately, but his train of thought was interrupted by Akaashi’s laughter.

Akaashi’s laughter. It was the best thing ever. Almost better than volleyball.

“Yes, Bokuto-san, I’ve missed you too. I’m glad you are cheerful and full of energy as ever.” Akaashi finally said, his tone calm again, but his voice betrayed the underling amusement.

“Nah, I’m exhausted. My muscles are protesting and I am waiting for them to start waving banners around. ‘Let us be!’, ‘We want a raise!’, ‘Give us massage or give us death’, or something like that.”

“Oh, I get that. You really should rest more and massage is a great idea. I can give you contact to my friend, she runs a spa and could give you a discount, if you’d like.”

“I’d love to! Would you come with me, though?”

Silence was all he got in reply.

“Akaashi? Are you there?”

“Yes. I just got distracted.”

“I know, I sometimes get distracted too when I think about my muscles!” Inner Bokuto winced at that particular sentence, but Outer Bokuto apparently wasn’t done.”Don’t worry, you will get used to them soon!” And there it was. Why in moments when it truly mattered, Bokuto’s mouth disconnected from his brain? No one knew, but Bokuto was sure he wanted the Earth to swallow him whole. Right now.

“I see.” Akaashi’s tone was flat, but he still didn’t end the call and that counted for something, didn’t it?

“Well, maybe I should leave you and your muscles right now, wouldn’t want to intrude on a romantic evening after all…” Akaashi’s voice was teasing, but Bokuto wasn’t going to take any chances.

“Nooo, Akaashi, I’m sorry! I, actually, I have a question!”

“If the question is about your muscles, I am disconnecting. I am a juror, I’m busy and important right now.”

Bokuto laughed at that and his mood brightened immediately. If Akaashi was joking with him, it meant he wasn’t completely disgusted with Bokuto! Yet.

“Akaashi, you said you would think about playing volleyball with me, right?”

“Yes, but…”

“Then after Saturday you won’t be a judge any more, right? So will you play with me on Sunday? It will keep me motivated and all…”

Akaashi sighed deeply on the other line.

“If that’s what will keep you focused on your task then this is a sacrifice I’m willing to make. Yes, I will play with you on Sunday.”

“GREAT! AKAASHI, I CAN’T WAIT!”

“First the show, Bokuto-san. And remember to parley with your revolting muscles before Saturday.”

“Will do!” Bokuto exclaimed cheerfully.

“Good. So goodnight, Bokuto-san.”

“Goodnight, Akaashi!!!”

Bokuto disconnected the call and remained sitting on the couch with a stupid grin on his face.

“Why are you screeching so loud in the middle of the night?” Kuroo asked, leaving the bathroom.

“I invited Akaashi out on Sunday!”

Kuroo whistled.

“Bro, I’m impressed! Didn’t know you had it in you! Go get him, tiger, a date on Sunday!”

Suddenly Bokuto’s mood turned sour.

“I think I forgot to mention it was a date… But we will play volleyball together, it counts!”

Kuroo just sighed loudly.

*

The days dragged mostly because Bokuto wanted it to be Sunday already.

He still gave it his all during the practices, because the team was motivated and was finally integrating. On Friday Bokuto ate lunch with Komi and Washio, with Komi waxing poetics about every person he used to have crush on (Akaashi, Shirofuku, Yachi, and most recent - Konoha) and Washio supplied embarrassing details to every single one, including flowers sent to Shirofuku that got intercepted by Kaori who loved them a lot, but rejected Komi all the same, and the way Komi fretted whenever Konoha complained about Bokuto, because _what if complaining meant Konoha liked Bokuto?_ , and so on. Bokuto felt great, as if he was hanging out with his volleyball team. He would miss them after the show was over, he realized. Maybe they would exchange contacts and keep in touch?

“Alright, we are finishing ‘Embarrass Komi Hour’ for now, let’s pick on somebody else.” Komi announced and pointed a finger at Bokuto.

“You. What’s going on between you and Akaashi?”

“Nothing much. But I plan on changing that.”He confessed and got something like a supportive high-five from Komi and a nod of acknowledgement from Washio.

“Good man, we don’t have to threaten you, I hope?”

“Nah. If I ever hurt Akaashi, I will be the first one in the line to kick my own ass. If he accepts me, you know…” Bokuto trailed off, hoping that his companions would voice their opinion regarding Akaashi’s feelings, but they both exchanged amused glances and kept silent.

They continued their meal in peace and didn’t return to the topic, until the end when Komi and Washio got up and Komi turned to Bokuto with a thumb up.

“If he doesn’t fall for you after Saturday, it means he is an android and we need to intervene before he takes over the world.” And with that, both dancers were gone, leaving Bokuto pondering on chances of Akaashi taking over the world for his android brethren.

*

Bokuto was truly hyped on Saturday.

Now that there was a tentative friendship budding between him and Kokomi, being her partner got that much easier. When Yachi approached them in the green room they smiled at her and for the first time in the history of this show, answered her questions.

“How do you feel about your song?”

“Oh, it is great. I’ve been dreaming of wearing a suit since the moment Bokuto put on his, mostly because he finally looked like an adult, something I could only aspire to.” Kokomi replied with a cheeky smile and Yachi laughed nervously.

“And what about you, Bokuto-san?”

“Oh, I’m going to close my eyes and think about volleyball, it usually helps.”

Finally, the show was starting and Tsukishima presented the new judge to the audiences.

Akaashi in casual clothes looked amazing. He had a grey shirt on and some dark pants and he looked like wow. Even Terushima did a double-take as Akaashi approached the chair and sat down between him and Shimizu.

“Since Sugawara-san had to leave for an international tournament, his place was taken by our own Akaashi Keiji, the owner of Owl Valley Dancing Studio and the leader of the Fukuro group which works with Kokomi-chan and Bokuto-san. Akaashi-san has won many prestigious awards and was mentioned in the list of top ten most talented dancers in the world.” Tsukishima droned, obviously bored with what he was saying. “So as you can see, he is not just a pretty face. Even though I doubt any cameras are going to face Terushima-san now.”

“Hey!” Terushima turned to Akaashi, hoping for some kind of reaction, a bit of banter maybe, but Akaashi faced the stage, a perfect picture of professionalism. Bokuto’s heart swelled. He was going to dance in front of Akaashi soon.

He looked at Kokomi who simply smiled at him.

“You will make him swoon, you will see.”

“Wait, did you know he was the boss of our dancers?” Bokuto asked, his mind catching up with Tsukishima’s introduction.

Kokomi chuckled.

“His name is on the building we train in, you’ve never noticed?”

It was hard to notice anything if one’s head was full of Akaashi. But he didn’t say that outloud. He would like to uphold at least a little bit of dignity.

This time Oikawa and Kuroo were first. Their training montage consisted of footage of Kuroo chasing Oikawa with a guitar and their choreographer, Yaku, face-palming and showing something posters hanged on the mirrors.

They had some deeply artistic piece, both of them in white costumes, dancing around the stage dramatically. The song was nice and Oikawa really tried, but Kuroo lost steps a few times. When they finished the audience cheered and Tsukishima turned to Akaashi.

“Kuroo-san, it was clear that this wasn’t your style. Normally your movements are more fluid, like a cat’s, but today you were stiff and uncomfortable. Missing a step is not the end, so it shouldn’t be so stressful. Oikawa-san, you were very precise in your movements and you have markings of a true professional. Try to trust your partner more, though. Right now, you were dancing at the same time, but not together.”

“Yeah, well, we were dancing to a love song for a guitar, so, you know, it was hard to get into it.” Kuroo replied with a cheeky grin, and a small smile made its way on Akaashi’s face.

“8,5 from me, for the love song to a guitar and Oikawa-san’s controlled murdering rage.”

The rest of the judges were much more forgiving and in the end Kuroo raked a lot of points. He came back to the green room triumphant and approached Bokuto immediately.

“Your loverboy seems a bit cold-hearted, doesn’t he?”

“Hey, he is the most caring and patient…”

“Woah, bro stop. Didn’t say it was a bad thing. He reminds me of Kenma a bit. That cold way of putting you down…”

“Ugh. Stay away from Akaashi, you creep.” Kuroo left them, his laughter filling the green room.

The show went on and Akaashi proved to be a very capable judge. He wasn’t mean, but he was very professional and he didn’t disregard things just because they looked nice or the contestants really tried. If he saw an error, he pointed it out in a gentle manner and gave pointers about fixing them. He was a teacher after all.

Bokuto and Kokomi were last but not the least, because their training montage had the audiences roaring with laughter. There was Bokuto trying to fit in Kokomi’s dress, because the costume for him wasn’t ready, there was Kokomi slipping on too long pants of the suit and crashing directly into Ennoshita and his camera. There was one scene where Kokomi “stabbed” Bokuto repeatedly and only then remembered about the paint. There was also a scene where Konoha shouted at both of them because they accidentally threw the flower crown out of the open window. The last scene was of him and Kokomi laying on the ground and laughing like idiots. Their montage was the best!

Their version of _Where The Wild Roses Grow_ was met enthusiastically by the audience. Bokuto died dramatically, with a red rose pinned to his white shirt and a splat of red paint spreading on his chest, as Kokomi got up elegantly and held her pose.

Terushima approved of their role reversal and praised the way Kokomi looked in the suit. Shimizu-san commented on how well they worked together this time and it was great to see their partnership evolve. Finally, it was Akaashi’s turn.

“Kokomi-san, you have improved a lot over the weeks. Your performance today and your first performance all those weeks ago are completely different. It is clear to see you enjoyed yourself and working with Bokuto-san, and it is reflected in your movements. They are precise, but not stiff. Very natural and good to look at.”

“What can I say, I’ve been dreaming of murdering him for a while now.“Kokomi joked and got a wave of applause for that.

“As for you Bokuto-san…”

“I really enjoyed being murdered. 10/10 would die again, as long as I don’t have to wear the suit.” Bokuto said quickly, once again cursing himself for being so nervous in Akaashi’s presence now that he knew how he felt about the dancer.

“I would have put that in more elegant words, but indeed, it was clear how happy you were to get killed. You have also improved significantly and you are no longer stressed on the stage. Still, your footwork needs a bit of attention. You tend to let your toes loose where they shouldn’t be.  Nothing a little more practice couldn’t fix.” There was something in Akaashi’s eyes that told Bokuto ‘and I will practice with you’ and Bokuto beamed.

“9 from me and thank you for your performance.”

Both Bokuto and Kokomi bowed and rushed to the green room where Yachi was waiting for them with a microphone.

“Any comments after your performance?”

Kokomi looked her in the eye.

“Next time I’m killing somebody, they need to be shorter.” Yachi let out an undignified ‘yep’ and ran away from them as quickly as she could.

“This poor girl would be terrified of you now.” Kokomi just shrugged.

“I am what I am.  This freaking show won’t change that, I decided. And I have enough of playing a proper lady. “

“I prefer you like that, a murderous gremlin instead of cold and well-mannered mannequin, you know?”

Kokomi smiled at him.

“Thanks. And now go, woo your man.”

And with that Bokuto went to the changing room to get ready to his own solo act. This was the first time he wasn’t nervous. He met up with Washio and Komi backstage.

“This is it. This is the moment we all become sex gods. Bokuto is already taken, so Washio, let us divide the fangirls fairly.”

Washio just rolled his eyes.

The three of them were dressed in hoodies with zippers, white tank tops and sweatpants, so Bokuto hardly felt like a sex god, but Komi’s words were a bit uplifting.

The lights went out and the three of them entered the stage. There were three tables, with Shirofuku, Kaori and Tachibana sitting next to one. Their dresses were sparkling in the low lights and they were playing with their faux drinks.

The music started to play and Bokuto approached Shirofuku who was supposed to be his ‘client’. She looked at him with amusement crinkling in her eyes and continued to stir her drink.

The steps came back to him immediately, because they were very similar to some of the exercises he did at the gym. Drop to a crouch, extend your leg, a bit of boxing, a pelvic thrust here and there.

He moved away from Shirofuku’s table and joined Washio and Komi in the middle.

He looked ahead and his eyes locked with Akaashi’s.

And then he ripped of his tank top off his chest with bare hands, just like he practiced and Akaashi’s face changed from impassive into… Bokuto didn’t know what it was exactly, but it was something new. Still, he had to move on with the routine.

He threw away the remains of his shirt and moved on with the routine. He rolled on the floor, he jumped when he was supposed to and he fell on his knees with Washio and Komi at his sides, with the girls throwing money at them.

The song ended and Bokuto was tired and happy.

And shirtless.

He turned to the judges.

Akaashi was still looking strange.

“Bokuto-san, here, have a shirt. I think you broke our judge, maybe if you cover your muscles he will come back to us.” Tsukishima said, not bothering to hide the amusement from his voice.

Bokuto put on the offered shirt and turned to the judges again. Akaashi was looking at his desk as if it held all the answers.

“So, Akaashi-san, can you tell us something about Bokuto-san’s footwork now?” Tsukishima teased.

Akaashi kept silent.

“I think he wasn’t looking at Bokuto-san’s legs. Hell, I wasn’t looking at his legs. No one was looking at his legs!”Terushima exclaimed and Bokuto smiled sheepishly. “If playing volleyball is what gets you into shape like that, I think I need to change careers. 10 from me!”

There was a small cough and Akaashi looked up, seemingly unperturbed.

“Bokuto-san, this was an exhausting routine and I command you for the energy you put into it and for the precision of movements. However, if you want to make a wave from your pelvis to your shoulders, you need to move all the muscles, not only abdomen.

Bokuto grinned.

“Like that?”

And he moved his hips, making the movement to travel upwards. He liked that one, even though it made him feel like a stripper.

“Yes, like that.” Akaashi replied, his voice faint.

“What about his feet?” Tsukishima pressed, his smile almost splitting his face. That man was probably evil, now that Bokuto thought about it. But Akaashi held on.

“There were two of them and they moved as they should, I noticed.” He replied, his voice a perfect deadpan.

“You sooo wasn’t looking.” Terushima cooed, but the attention was on Shimizu now.

“Bokuto-san, you made me wonder, what kind of show are we shooting here?”

“Entertainment, maybe?” Bokuto offered, not sure where this was going.

“Oh, I think we were all entertained alright.  If you wonder what to do after the Olympics, I think new doors just opened for you.” She said and it took Bokuto a while to realize she was teasing.

“9,5, for wonderful entertainment.”

“And we are coming back to Akaashi-san! Your score?” Tsukishima asked, innocently.

“9,5. I would have given more, but I think I lost some of my brain cells during this performance.” Tsukishima laughed, the audience cheered and Bokuto could sing, because maybe Akaashi didn’t like Bokuto yet, but he definitely liked his muscles.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, is Kokomi a genderbent Bokuto in disguise? Maybe.
> 
> The whole routine is based on [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nquz-rMVy3s) and although you cannot see it on the video, one judge.exe really had crashed and had to come back online to discuss footwork to which she wasn't paying attention at all because, you know, he tore off his shirt. 
> 
> Next chapter we will have the promised Sunday and maybe, finally, some Bokuaka development, yay!
> 
> Thank you for reading this far and I hope you liked the chapter!


	7. Akaashi: Let You Love Me

**Bokuto Koutarou – Pony– Dance Dance Dance Official Video**

**Comments (654)**

**FujoshiForLife:** BEST EPISODE EVER. Bokuto is the hottest and Akaashi is too gay to function, perfect!

 **MatsuzuAkari** : Homos should be banned from television, it was disgusting.

 **GoGoGo:** Are all dancers gay? Makes sense, since they do women’s job, still, maybe they shouldn’t flaunt this?

 **BokutoGo:** Bokuto rocked this performance! Hell, I’d be stunned for much longer after a performance like that!

 **LolCatze:** I think Akaashi just became a meme. Look at his face in 2:30 – Akaashi.exe has crashed, lol.

 **Yato89:** I don’t think this is real, I think they do it to mess with us, srsly, can you believe anyone would genuinely behave like that???

 **OikawasSelfie:** No idea, but if they keep on doing that the ratings will either drop or skyrocket. I for one am intrigued.

 **Keias34:** How did Bokuto not win this episode??? He was awesome!

 **Bokuto’sChest:** Are you ready to talk about our Lord and Saviour, Bokuto’s abs?

 **DDDFan1:** Who the hell is this Akaashi and why do I have to look at him ever week, I thought this show was about contestants and not random dancers?

 **AragataShinji:** @DDDFan1: He is a dancer who is famous for wrecking havoc in the lives of people he dances with, he is like, the true villain, here, read this **_< link>_**

*

A pile of magazines was scattered on his table, probably the courtesy of his mother. She was the one who told him to always pay attention to the papers, because ‘it’s better to know what they say and not to have someone tell you’, as she had said. It was true. It gave him time to prepare, to come to terms with what people thought about him and to figure out how to deal with the situation.

He looked at the first magazine. Thankfully, his face was not plastered on the cover, but his name appeared in the title of one of the advertized articles. _Is Akaashi Keiji the first sportsman to come out as gay?,_ the cover asked.

Akaashi simply sighed.

He could have handled that performance much better. He should have remained impassive, cold. That would have shut the media up for a while, that would have saved his skin. But no, his brain cells decided to stop working in that one moment when it truly mattered and here he was, on the verge of another scandal which would drag his name through the mud.

He wasn’t looking forward to going through that again.To journalists blowing up his phone with messages and calls asking for a comment. To paparazzi following him home hoping to find him with someone, people who came to his school only to try to get some answers out of him. But that wasn’t the worst, the worst were common people sneering at him on the street. Grandmas, mothers, older men, teenagers, everyone who was deeply invested in the lives of their favourite celebrities suddenly saw him as an enemy. As some kind of a femme fatale that had nothing better to do than just break people’s hearts.

He was never hurt, thankfully, no one assaulted him, nor did he get any threats, but he could feel the contempt in the room every time he did grocery shopping in a small shop next to his flat. Maybe he should switch to supermarkets, they were much more impersonal and vast…

Akaashi slumped in his armchair, took a large sip of his tea and started to leaf through the magazines his mother left for him. Most of them were just gossip, trying to analyze his behavior on Saturday and either accuse him of playing this up to get the viewers or of having a huge crush on Japan’s favourite ace.

Well, they weren’t exactly wrong about that.

Sometimes Akaashi wondered why he failed to live up to the words he so often heard: ‘you are so smart, so collected. I can’t imagine you doing anything stupid, Keiji’. It was his grandma’s words and he wanted to laugh out loud at the irony.

He remembered seeing Bokuto for the first time. He was still in middle school, still dreaming of becoming a professional volleyball player. His team had just finished their match with the last opponent for the day and they were happy, drunk on triumph and happiness, but Akaashi wasn’t feeling it. He remembered feeling empty, as if there was something missing, like he hadn’t given his all just then.

Or maybe it was the other way round, maybe he reached his limit and realized that this was it, he would never get better than he was then. He couldn’t decide and remained in the hall, sitting down on one of the chairs.

There was a high school level tournament right after theirs and Akaashi hadn’t been planning on watching it, he was too caught up in his thoughts, but there was some noise, someone shouted ‘hey hey hey’ so loud it resonated throughout the hall and Akaashi looked up. There he was, Bokuto Koutarou, in all his fifteen-year-old glory.

He was amazing. It was as if the sun had graced the match, his energy, his laughter made the court light up and Akaashi’s mind became blank, his previous thoughts long dispersed. This boy with a strange hairdo was something else. He was everything Akaashi wasn’t. He wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot, he messed up a lot of spikes and he couldn’t work well with their setter, but he didn’t care. He saw his limits and smashed through them. He was amazing.

Akaashi didn’t have the guts to talk to Bokuto after the match was over and he scurried away from his seat afraid that he would be noticed somehow and accused of staring. Maybe if he could play with a wing spiker like that… Maybe then he would get better, he would feel satisfied with how he played, he would too break though his limits…

But then his grandma died and he didn’t ace his exams like he should. He couldn’t go to Fukurodani, no matter how much he wanted to. It turned out for the better, because in his new school he had finally found something he was satisfied with – dancing. Here he didn’t need anyone else to realize his full potential, he had motivation and drive to do it himself.

He forgot about volleyball but he had never forgotten about the boy who shone like the sun on the court. He checked all high school tournaments and watched their games online whenever he was able. Bokuto got better every year, even though he wasn’t in perfect sync with their setter. But he was truly becoming a force to be reckoned with and Akaashi’s heart clutched sometimes when he watched Bokuto beam at his setter. ‘It could have been me’, Akaashi used to think.

Years passed and Akaashi got really good at dancing, good enough to pursue it professionally.  Gradually, he let himself forget about the spirited ace, his mind filled with his own career and with winning as many competitions as he could.

By the time the scandal came and broke his career, Akaashi had forgotten all about volleyball and Bokuto Koutarou.

He pieced himself back together, he opened a dancing studio, he finally came back to work he loved so much, he started to teach. He was good. When the announcement for the volleyball national team came, he was happy for Bokuto and he vowed to watch every match, allowing himself this small celebrity crush.

And then he got the offer to work on _Dance Dance Dance_. He wanted to say no, at first. The last thing he needed was being seen on television again. Sure, it would be a great deal for his studio and his dancers would be excited, but… And then that snake, Daishou Suguru said something about wonderful contestants. And mentioned Bokuto’s name. Akaashi was sure that his face remained impassive back then, but an amused glint in Daishou’s eyes told him differently.

“So will you be willing to work with Bokuto’s team, Akaashi-san?” Daishou had asked, a satisfied smirk on his face.

Akaashi should have said no. He should have known better. But his heart surged at the thought of finally meeting the boy, no, a man who made such a deep impression on Akaashi so many years ago. So he had agreed.

Maybe he hoped that getting to know Bokuto would prove disappointing. Maybe he wanted to wake up from this strange hero worship, from this useless crush. He wanted to be disillusioned with Bokuto, wanted him to be a self-important idiot, someone Akaashi would be happy to forget.

Well, that backfired spectacularly.

Getting to know Bokuto, becoming his friend was the best and the worst that ever happened to Akaashi.

Bokuto was so much more than Akaashi anticipated. Being with  him was like being in the sun – warm, feeling with happiness. And the volleyball player seemed to like Akaashi as well. It was a bit too much to handle.

Instead of squashing the crush, meeting Bokuto enforced it, made it stronger, almost unbearable. Maybe that was why Akaashi wasn’t so bothered with the slander he saw on the internet and in the newspapers. They weren’t wrong. He was guilty as charged, a homosexual in love with a popular sportsman.

And Daishou knew, he somehow knew about Akaashi’s feelings and used them to create this scandalous atmosphere around the show.

Akaashi had no one to blame but himself for whatever happened to him right now.

He could only hope that the media would spare Bokuto.

He didn’t deserve to have his name dragged through the mud and his career in jeopardy just because some dancer couldn’t keep his eyes off him. He briefly considered resigning from the show, but that was exactly what the haters wanted and Akaashi wasn’t so magnanimous to let them get what they wanted.

A phone ringing brought him back to reality.

He looked at the caller ID.

 _Bokuto-san_.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Akaashi, remember that we are meeting to play today?” Bokuto shouted, rather than asked the question. They were supposed to meet on Sunday, but Akaashi was too mortified with what happened on Saturday to meet Bokuto right away and he had asked to postpone their playing session for Monday.  Which was today.

“Yes, of course, Bokuto-san. At 6, right?”

“Yup! By the way, I missed you today at the practice! Why didn’t you come?” _Because I still don’t know how to face you after everything that happened on Saturday._

“I’m sorry, Bokuto-san. I wasn’t feeling well in the morning.” It wasn’t a complete lie. He felt awful. Just not physically.

“Oh no, Akaashi, you need to take care of yourself! Are you alright, we can postpone, maybe you should stay at home…”

“No, it’s alright, Bokuto-san. I will see you at 6 at the court.”

“Great!”

“And I will be at the practice tomorrow, if you still want me to.”

“Akaashi! I always want you!” Gods, Bokuto would be a death of him.

*

By 6 p.m Akaashi managed to work himself into a minor panic attack. Bokuto had to know how Akaashi felt about him. He just had to and he was too nice a person to beat Akaashi up for it, but it didn’t mean that he wouldn’t mention it at all. Was Akaashi going to be painfully rejected this evening? Maybe that would be for the best, then he could grow out of this crush and move on. And the media would lay off him. Look at all the pros. Cons? One broken heart, but hey, what else was new.

“Akaashi! I’m so glad to see you, are you sure you feel alright?” Came the voice to his left, and there he was, Bokuto in all of his glory, still sweaty from his professional volleyball practice from before. As usual, just looking at him brightened Akaashi's mood.

A genuine smile fought its way on Akaashi’s lips.

“Yes, thank you for asking.”

Bokuto beamed at him and Akaashi’s heart sped up. No one could ever smile like Bokuto smiled. It was so full of joy, of innocent happiness and of confidence…

They made their way to the gym and Akaashi headed for the changing room to change his outfit. Tights were good for dancing, but shorts and a t-shirt were much more appropriate for volleyball.

When he was done changing, Akaashi emerged from the changing room, he was hit with a familiar smell. He had forgotten how much he loved the smell of a volleyball court, of the waxed panels and the balls waiting to be set.

Akaashi turned to share his thoughts with Bokuto, but the man was staring at him in silence, his mouth slightly opened.

“Is everything alright, Bokuto-san?”

“Yes! Just… Never seen you in shorts before.”  _Yes, but you have seen me without a shirt._ Akaashi stopped that train of thought, because then he would remember that he had also seen Bokuto without a shirt on and then it would be a disaster. So he simply started to warm up, his mind supplying memories of all the exercises he used to do in middle school.

Bokuto followed him, his gaze still trained on Akaashi.

Finally, after fifteen minutes, they were more or less ready and Bokuto’s enthusiasm was back.

“Set for me, Akaashi!” It sounded so easy when Bokuto asked for it, his smile contagious and his belief in Akaashi’s skills strange, but endearing at the same time.

It took them five tries to finally get in sync, because Akaashi’s mind remembered being a setter, but his body no longer did. But the fifth time, it worked. He managed to volley the ball exactly where he wanted and Bokuto hit it with as much force as he could. The ball landed on the other side of the court with a loud _smack!_

“This. Was. Awesome!” Bokuto exclaimed and Akaashi blood rushed to his ears. He had forgotten how much he loved playing.

He didn’t notice Bokuto approaching him and pulling him into a tight hug.

“You are the best, Akaashi! This felt so good, I wish I had met you earlier, we would have been unstoppable!”

On any other day, his words would be flattering. But today, they sounded like lost opportunities. Like something they would never have.

“Another one! Please, Akaashi!” Bokuto begged and as usual, Akaashi couldn’t exactly say no.

Still, the lost time lingered on his mind and none of the following perfect spikes brought him any joy.

*

It happened when they were getting ready to leave. Akaashi convinced Bokuto to take shower before putting on fresh clothes, no matter how much he wanted to go to that yakiniku they both agreed on. Akaashi was just putting on his shirt, his towel still around his hips, when Bokuto left the shower and just stopped in his tracks.

“You are so beautiful, Akaashi…”Bokuto murmured, quiet all of a sudden. Embarrassed, Akaashi put on his underwear and pants as quickly as possible, manipulating the towel so that it would protect his dignity.

He managed, even though putting on your clothes in front of your naked crush was hardly something he even imagined doing. Taking off, maybe... He stopped himself here. He tossed the towel away and moved to pack his things into the duffel bag. Finally, his mind cleared enough to form some coherent response.

“Bokuto-san, I’m flattered but this could be misunderstood and…” Akaashi stopped, because Bokuto was right next to him, staring right into Akaashi’s eyes.

“This is not a misunderstanding. But you want it to be. Why?” This was what Akaashi most feared about Bokuto. He was really perceptive when it came to other people.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Bokuto-san, please get dressed.”

But Bokuto’s gaze was unmoving, pinning Akaashi down to his locker.

“I asked you once if I was in love with you. It was a stupid question, I was told, but I’ve been thinking. Why did you say no?”

Akaashi’s heart was hammering so loud he could hardly hear his own thoughts.

“Because that’s the truth. You are not in love with me, Bokuto-san. You like me as your dancing partner and as your friend and you were simply confused.”

Bokuto’s eyes were boring right into Akaashi’s soul.

“I was, but I am not anymore. You are amazing, Akaashi. I feel the best when I’m with you and I cannot wait to see you again every time we part. As far as I know, I am in love with you.”

This was too much, he needed to get away, he needed to run, to forget. He needed to convince Bokuto that this wasn’t true, that he was mistaken, but some part of him wanted to stay. Wanted to know.

“And I think that you also know and that makes you scared. But I don’t know why. “ Bokuto pressed, his face so, so close…

Akaashi failed his grandma because he wasn’t as smart as she had thought.

He leaned forward and shut Bokuto up in the most effective way he could think of.

By kissing him.

It was like nothing he had experienced before.

He never would have dreamed that one day he would kiss Bokuto Koutarou and said Bokuto Koutarou would kiss him back with such urgency, such heat.

It was clumsy, it was uncoordinated, and Bokuto crowded Akaashi against the lockers so hard that Akaashi was sure to have bruises, but it was perfect in its own way.

It was the best kiss of Akaashi’s life.

And then he remembered.

_I’m sorry, I really respect your skills, you are beautiful and amazing and being with you was like being the best version of myself. But that is it. I loved being with you, dancing with you, I loved who I was with you.You taught me so much. But somewhere in the middle of it all, I realized that I don’t love you.  I’m sorry, it was mistake and I know I hurt you a lot but… It’s just how you are. You make people fall for you with your looks, your moves, your wit, but you don’t let them any further. I like you a lot, Akaashi, but I don’t love you. You didn’t allow me to love you._

_You are amazing, Akaashi. I feel the best when I’m with you and I cannot wait to see you again every time we part_

It was like a bucket of cold water in the face.

Akaashi’s eyes flew open and he stopped the kiss abruptly, escaping from Bokuto’s arms.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto-san.”

That was all he could say before he ran.

Only after reaching his flat had he noticed the tears streaming down his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short and it's the only one written from Akaashi's POV, sorry :< But Bokuto's POV is much more fun to write, especially since he doesn't know what Akaashi feels so yeah. Back to Bokuto now. Also, Akaashi is hopeless.
> 
> The title is from the song by Rita Ora, 'Let You Love Me'. 
> 
> Once again, thank you all for comments and kudos, you keep me motivated and inspired!


	8. Something Stupid (Like I Love You)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The TALK TM happens yay~~

„…And then he ran away.” Bokuto concluded, allowing his head to slam back into the table. He felt Kuroo’s sympathetic pat on his shoulder, but refused to move. He should just stay on this table forever, the perfect picture of sadness and confusion.

He still had no idea what exactly happened this evening. Was he rejected? But Akaashi kissed him! Kissed. Him. Of his own volition. But then he ran away, leaving Bokuto all alone and worried. So Bokuto did the only thing that came to his mind, namely he went home and shared his worries with Kuroo, who was the best friend in this whole sad world.

“Man, that’s harsh… “ Kuroo mused his tone surprisingly gentle.”I can call Kenma and we can brainstorm what to do now, if you want to.”

It was tempting. It really was, Kenma was good at reading people, and he was Akaashi’s friend, so he would have some insight and all, but something in Bokuto rejected such course of action. He wanted to be with Akaashi, to be the one person that understood him and supported him, and he couldn’t do that if every problem between them was solved with Kuroo and Kenma’s intervention. No, this time Bokuto had to figure it out for himself.

And then talk to Akaashi.

And tell him that running away when someone confesses their love to you was hurtful. Yes, hurtful. Because sure, Bokuto was worried about Akaashi, was concerned about Akaashi’s reasons, and he wanted to understand, but it still hurt.

So he raised his head to look at Kuroo.

“Nah, thanks bro. I got this.” Kuroo simply nodded in approval and left Bokuto to his thoughts.

He came back to this evening, to everything they have said. Akaashi seemed stressed from the beginning, Bokuto had noticed that before they started playing, but he had been alright during their practice. Maybe Bokuto had stared too much? But this was his first time seeing Akaashi’s legs, so of course he stared, but maybe Akaashi was creeped out by this? Maybe Bokuto came onto him too strong, stood too close?

Maybe Bokuto was a terrible kisser?

He probably was, he had only kissed at some parties and never with any meaning behind did, but Akaashi didn’t seem like the type to run away just because he didn’t enjoy a kiss.

Maybe it was something Bokuto said?

His mind was bent on replaying their conversation on repeat, trying to find anything that might have been wrong, hurtful, that might have forced Akaashi to leave.

There was nothing, Bokuto was truthful with his feelings, he tried to be clear, so there would be nothing to misunderstand, and he managed, didn’t he?

Unless…

_I feel the best when I’m with you and I cannot wait to see you again every time we part. As far as I know, I am in love with you._

Oh. _Oooh._

*

Bokuto didn’t get much sleep that night but he was ready to talk everything out. For the first time in his life, he knew exactly what to say.

He arrived at the studio sleep-deprived but ready as hell. He waved at Kuroo and Oikawa as they moved down the corridor to their own practice room and turned to greet his own partner.

“Eager today, Bokuto-san?” Kokomi asked, giving him a sincere smile. Bokuto hadn’t noticed before, but their first practices were really stiff in hindsight. Only know Bokuto could notice the difference between Kokomi acting friendly and actually being friendly.

They entered their practice room and Bokuto noticed that it was empty. No dancers, then. He wondered if that meant Akaashi wouldn’t come today. But he said he would! No, even though they had some… problems yesterday, Akaashi would certainly come!

He smiled to himself and then remembered that Kokomi asked him a question.

“Not, really, why?”

“You radiate this nervous energy… Do you have a date with Akaashi-san?” Kokomi seemed really thrilled by the idea, but Bokuto’s new-found inner adult simply hushed her.

“Even if I had, it would be better not to advertize it here. Ennoshita might be listening.” He told her, his tone only slightly joking.

Kokomi simply rolled her eyes.

“I talked with him, you know? He feels awful and is afraid of talking to any of you. I think he really enjoyed his job here until they made him publish that video. Now he is mostly miserable, he smiles at our antics, sure, but he is all alone now…”

Oho? Ohoho? Bokuto shot Kokomi a scrutinizing look.

“Kokomi-chan, is that a blush I see?” He teased and the idol flipped him off. Rude, seriously.

“And here I thought it was Shirofuku who made your heart beat faster…” He mused out loud and Kokomi hissed at him to ’shut up’. Oh damn, Bokuto was just joking!!! What was going on, did he get so good at reading people? Was he psychic all of a sudden?

“I just can’t decide, okay?” Kokomi whispered, her eyes pleading and Bokuto understood how much it cost her to admit that. Everyone knew about Bokuto’s attachment to Akaashi long before Bokuto himself noticed it, and they were cool with it, apparently, but he could imagine what a shock it would be to everyone to learn that the sweet and lovely Kokomi-chan had feelings not for one, but for two people in their group. Show businesss was scary as hell.  

He simply nodded at her and wished her good luck.

Konoha entered the room and shot Bokuto a glare instead of a smile.

Of course he did, he was Akaashi’s ex. Ugh. Suddenly Bokuto liked him a little less. How could he say such things to Akaashi, to Akaashi who deserved the world? How could he scar someone so deeply and then be the over-protective friend whom you couldn’t even hate as ‘the evil ex’? Not that Konoha was a bad person, he was great but with the new-found knowledge and understanding, Bokuto couldn’t stop himself from being a bit angry at him.

So Bokuto leveled a glare of his own at the choreographer and crossed his arms. He wasn’t going to back down. He would defeat Konoha and prove his manliness and how much more worthy of Akaashi he was and then Akaashi would see how brave (and manly) Bokuto was, and he would throw himself into Bokuto’s arms and kiss him again and Konoha would sob in the corner, and Kokomi would cheer and throw flowers at them, and Kuroo would shed a tear saying ‘that’s my boy’ and then Akaashi would proclaim his undying love to Bokuto and they would be together forever and…

“How are you with the steps?” Konoha asked, forfeiting their staredown without a care. Coward.

“Awful.” Bokuto replied and immediately looked at Kokomi, who replied at the same time with the same words. They grinned at each other and Konoha sighed.

“You were easier to manage when you disliked each other, seriously.” He said, and moved to start the music.

The first chords of _Something Stupid_ filled the room and Bokuto really tried to not stomp on Kokomi’s feet so he forgot everything else, like twirling at the right time and pressing their foreheads together. To catch up with the last one, he moved so quickly that a tender gesture turned into a violent head-butt. The poor girl fell to the ground.

Ennoshita was right beside her, clearly torn between helping her and recording everything.

Why was Bokuto's life such a mess?

“Are you okay?” Bokuto asked, trying to help her up.

“Yes, the moment I stop seeing two Bokutos we can go back to dancing. What did I do to deserve this?” She whined and Bokuto was sure she was joking, but he still felt bad.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you! I just forgot that one move and I tried to do it as quickly as I could and you were just there… I’m so sorry!!!”

Kokomi winced as she stood up.

“I’m not angry at you, but I think I need to stop for now. I feel a little dizzy.”

“Bokuto’s enthusiasm claims yet another victim.” Konoha said to the camera and although everyone gave a little laugh, it was clear that the practice was over for now. Ennoshita switched off his camera and offered Kokomi his hand as support. She leaned on it gratefully and with a wave directed at Bokuto, she left the room.

“I’d better go with her. If something happened, I wouldn’t want her agent to unleash lawyers at us.” Konoha said, rubbing his temples. “If you have some time, try to practice, Bokuto. Preferably dancing, not martial arts.” He said that in a mocking tone, but it still made Bokuto angry for some reason.

The door closed behind Konoha and Bokuto immediately sat down on the floor, deciding to ignore Konoha just because. So what if he was petty? He didn’t even care about this show!

Okay, that was a lie. He did care a bit. He liked the people here, he liked dancing, having fun and fooling around during the trainings. And, of course, he loved Akaashi.

Who was still not here.

He probably waited until the normal practice was over and he had no way of knowing that Bokuto had injured his partner and effectively ended the session.

So Bokuto could either sit here and sulk, or start practicing so that he would stop causing Kokomi grief.

With a sigh, he got up and started the music himself.

It felt stupid to dance around alone, pretending to have a partner, really, but what else could he do? He closed his eyes, his mind immediately conjuring the vision of Akaashi standing in front of him, a gentle smile on his face, and Bokuto started to move.

The song was about two people who loved each other, but were afraid of saying it out loud, because the words seemed so trivial, or at least so Konoha said. Bokuto could relate, he could feel this uncertainty, that fear that the words would fail to convey everything he wanted to say, that they would mess everything up, that he would be rejected because his feelings were stupid and…

“You’ve made great progress, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto’s eyes snapped open.

There he was, leaning on the doorframe in his standard black clothes, his arms crossed and his face impassive as usual.

“Akaashi! You are here! You really came!”  Bokuto exclaimed and was ready to simply run to Akaashi, but thankfully he stopped himself. First, they needed to talk.

“I promised you that I would, as long as you want me here.” Akaashi replied and closed the door behind him, moving closer to Bokuto.

“Can we talk?”

Oh, Akaashi beat him to it. Oh no, what if he wanted to reject him gently? Or worse, he wanted to say that this was goodbye? That for Bokuro’s sake he was quitting his job and moving to Nepal? No, Akaashi couldn’t start, because then Bokuto would be too sad to argue, and he had good arguments, really good arguments!!!

“Yes!” Bokuto winced at the volume of his voice.” Yes, let’s talk, but can I start? Please?”

Akaashi looked a bit taken aback, but he nodded.

“Alright, you see, Akaashi, I’ve been thinking about everything that happened yesterday and I really shouldn’t have crowded you against the lockers wearing nothing but a towel, that was not cool…”

“I wasn’t complaining…”

“And I should have given you some time to respond to my questions and I really should have run after you… Wait, what?” Bokuto’s mind had this tendency to lag while processing the words of others so Akaashi’s interruption registered just now. He glanced at Akaashi, who wasn’t looking at him at all, his cheeks a bit more pink than usual. Oh. He was right!

“Wait, let me finish!” He exclaimed, as Akaashi started to open his mouth. The dancer simply nodded, clearly puzzled.

“So, I know I came onto you pretty strongly, but I think that wasn’t the main problem. The main problem was… You like me, Akaashi! You really like me and that’s why you were so spooked when I said that I thought I was in love with you! Because you were worried that I was wrong and you didn’t want to give yourself false hope or something, but Akaashi…!” Here, Bokuto took a step forward, looking at Akaashi’s face, trying to find any signs of the dancer being uncomfortable. There were none.

“I phrased it poorly yesterday, but you are the only thing I can think about! I dance as best as I can in this show for you, so you’d be proud of me, I try my hardest to not let our practices go to waste, and I want to do everything with you! I want to dance with you, true, but you are so much more than just my dance partner! I want to play volleyball with you, and watch movies, and I want to cheer you on during your competitions, and I want to know you are watching me play when the Olympics come, I want to know you and understand you better than anyone, so please, don’t reject me, Akaashi, let me love you!”

Akaashi looked a bit stunned, and true, Bokuto was speaking fast, but he was stressed, alright? He was stressed and the man in front of him was just perfect, even though he made mistakes and sometimes ran away from his problems, he was still Bokuto’s favourite person in the world, so anyone would be nervous, right?

Akaashi took a deep breath. Bokuto’s heart started to beat frantically.

“Bokuto-san. First, I want to apologize for yesterday. You confessed your feelings for me and instead of cherishing them and responding to them, I ran away. You must have been hurt and I am surprised you still agreed to talk to me. “

“I’d always talk to you, Akaashi, no matter how angry I was!” Bokuto promised, a wave of panic raising in him.

“You were right, indeed. I’ve liked you for a long time, Bokuto-san. Since I first saw you in middle school, you were always on my mind, so for you to suddenly say you liked me was… A bit too much to handle.”

“Since middle school?! Akaashi, I didn’t know, oh no, How did I not notice you then? Where we in the same school, Akaashi, how?

“Bokuto-san. I’m not finished.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

Akaashi sighed deeply.

“I… I panicked, because as you said, I like you a lot. And I was afraid that you liked me because of the fact we dance together. Like I told you before, dancing creates a bond, gives a sense of intimacy, of trust and belonging and I was afraid… I still am afraid that the moment this show ends, this will disappear and you will realize that dancing is all that you like about me.” Akaashi confessed and he looked so broken-hearted that Bokuto couldn’t stop himself – he brought Akaashi into a hug. The dancer didn’t fight it, to the contrary, he seemed to relax in Bokuto’s embrace. He fit so nice in Bokuto's arms...

This was amazing, Bokuto could get used to that.

“I’m also worried about your career. Mine could survive the media’s interest, they cannot take this studio from me, they cannot cancel my classes. But being together with you would jeopardize your position in the team and I know how much you love volleyball, Bokuto-san. I’d never do that to you.”

Bokuto’s heart sunk.

“So… You don’t want to be with me?”

Akaashi was quiet for a while and Bokuto’s heart throbbed as if it wanted to get out of his chest.

“I want to. I want it so much… But it is risky. Too risky. And I’m not worth it. You don’t even know me that well.” This sounded awfully like what Kuroo and Kenma told him. That they weren’t together because of volleyball. It was stupid. It really, really was and Bokuto had no idea what to do about it, because as much as he hated it, he knew that him being taken off the team was a possibility. That would break his heart. Wasn’t there an option for him to have both Akaashi and volleyball?

His arms tightened around Akaashi and he could feel tears pooling in his own eyes.

Was there nothing they could do?

Just confess their feelings to each other and then go their separate ways? No. It wasn’t like they were going to get executed, it was nothing illegal but…  But one mistake and his dream could be over. And he could live with that, probably, but if Kenma was to be believed the guilt would follow Akaashi wherever he went, even though it wouldn’t be his fault. Bokuto didn’t want that for Akaashi.

So he simply held him, trying to convey his love as best as he could, trying to remember this moment forever. He was so happy just moments before and now... Now he simply wanted to stay right here and pretend the world didn't exist. 

“What can we do?” He whispered, hoping that Akaashi would have some answers.

Akaashi took a step back, looking up to look into Bokuto’s eyes. Akaashi wasn’t crying, but his eyes looked a bit wet.

“We can wait.”

“Wait?”

“If after the show is over you would still like to be with me… I would know that it really wasn’t just dancing influencing your mind. And after the Olympics the media should back off…"

“Akaashi, that’s almost a year of waiting!”

“I know…” Akaashi looked away and his expression closed off, as if he wanted to hide his hurt from Bokuto. Oh no, that wasn’t what he meant, what he wanted…

“I can do that! Akaashi, I can wait and I will date the hell out of you after the Olympics, if you still want me then, but…”

“But…?”

Bokuto bit his lip, trying to figure out the best words to describe what he wanted from Akaashi. Damn, why were the words so hard when you meant them with all of your heart?!

“Akaashi, I will wait for you as long as you want, but in the mean time, don’t leave me, okay? Let us stay friends, or whatever, just don’t disappear on me, alright?”

Akaashi gave him a small smile.

“It sounds like an awful idea, like tempting the fate…” But it was better than not seeing each other for a year!

“I know, but… I don’t want to lose you, Akaashi.”

Akaashi simply hummed, deep in thought. But he still hasn't moved away.

“Alright. Friends, then.”

And without any warning, Akaashi grasped Bokuto’s collar and brought him down into a heated kiss. This was heaven. All the worry left Bokuto’s mind, all of his senses concentrated on Akaashi.

It could have been ten seconds, it felt like eternity.

All too soon, Akaashi let go and looked up at Bokuto with a new spark in his eyes.

“Sealed it with a kiss.” He said simply, as if that explained everything. It didn’t, but Bokuto wasn’t going to complain. In fact, he was still a bit breathless from the kiss.

“Unfortunately, I’m not as smart as people like to believe, Bokuto-san.”

“You are perfect.”

Akaashi simply smiled.

Bokuto didn’t know one could feel so elated and worried at the same time, but there he was. The waiting seemed reasonable and although it would suck to do exactly as Kenma and Kuroo, to run away and hide from the world, it sounded like the best option. But with the memory of Akaashi’s lips on his, Bokuto was sure that they wouldn’t be able to stay just friends for a year. Someone was going to break.

“One more for the road.” He said, catching Akaashi’s hand and bringing him closer, so he could plant a hesitant kiss of his own on Akaashi’s lips.

Definitely not possible to resist this for a whole year.

But he had an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, only two chapters to go, yay!
> 
> I'm a great fan of talking through your problems, so they talked this through. Am I done torturing them? Maybe. Maybe not. 
> 
> But hey, there are kisses!
> 
> Thank you again for taking interest in this fic, if it wasn't for you, it wouldn't have been written, I feed on support and reader's interest ;D


	9. Born This Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I didn't have Internet access for two days :/

The two weeks after his talk with Akaashi were both the worst and the best in Bokuto’s life. The worst, because he had everything he wanted right in front of him but he couldn’t tell anyone, couldn’t hold Akaashi’s hand whenever he wanted, couldn’t tell anyone that Akaashi Keiji, the Akaashi Keij liked him! And why the best?

Because while Akaashi was good at being reasonable and secretive, not letting his calm mask slip during the practices, he also had a weakness, Bokuto discovered.

He couldn’t say ‘no’ to Bokuto’s pleas.

They weren’t dating, they didn’t meet up after the practices ( _Pictures could destroy you_ ) or during weekends, they didn’t text ( _Visible evidence that could be used against us if anyone saw your phone_ ), nor did they sneak around to one another’s flats, but to be honest, Bokuto was shit at being ‘just friends with’ Akaashi and Akaashi let him.

During their solo practices after the rest had gone home, Bokuto demanded hugs and kisses and every time, Akaashi would sigh, tell him that they shouldn’t and they promised each other to wait and be careful, but he gave in every time. Akaashi was the best.

Of course, Bokuto was well-aware that he was pushing his luck and that if Daishou saw them by any chance, they would be done for, and he even felt some pang of remorse every time Akaashi looked worriedly at the door whenever they were alone, but Bokuto had always been a bit of a hedonist at heart. He liked doing things that made him happy and being with Akaashi, hugging and kissing Akaashi was precisely what made him happy, so why should he stop? He resigned from all the other things he wanted to do with Akaashi, he deserved at least a bit of affection, right?

So Bokuto pressed on, unrepentant and only Kuroo and Kenma looked at him suspiciously. But Kuroo was his best friend and Kenma was Kuroo’s soulmate, so Bokuto trusted them. Especially since they were in similar circumstances.

The rest of the dancing crew remained ignorant. Konoha came back to his normal self, seemingly convinced that whatever was going on between Akaashi and Bokuto had been resolved peacefully and the dancers remained silently supportive, smiling at each other whenever Bokuto and Akaashi talked, but there was no change in their behavior, so they probably haven’t noticed anything. They were more focused on winning the show. Their rating from two weeks ago was rather subpar, mostly because Kokomi was still recovering from Bokuto’s unexpected attack on her forehead.

Kuroo and Oikawa had to leave the show one week ago, since their score was steady and although they were well-liked and had their share of fans, Bokuto and Kokomi, as well as Reyna-san and her husband drew more media attention.

The gossip sites still tried to connect Bokuto to Kokomi and/or Akaashi, although lately they decided that Akaashi and Kokomi had potential too, especially after the photos Kokomi put on her Instagram. They featured Akaashi and Kokomi looking at their respective Starbucks cups with distaste, with Komi laughing in the background and Konoha sipping quietly his own beverage. _When you want tea but someone brings you chai latte_ , the description proclaimed and Bokuto should have known that chai didn’t mean tea in this shop, but, well... Still, he got a cool photo out of the situation and allowed Kokomi to post it on her account.

 Even though there were clearly more people in the picture, the Internet decided that “those two resting bitch-faces deserved each other” and new comments started to appear under the youtube videos with Kokomi’s performances featuring Akaashi. Some people wondered if that meant that Bokuto had been strung along by both of them, but most of the fans agreed that he was probably infatuated with one of them and suffered in silence. Well, they weren’t exactly wrong. With the change of chemistry between him and Kokomi, a lot of people realized that he was probably after Akaashi and although Akaashi and Kuroo kept on warning him, Bokuto wasn’t concerned. He had a plan. And putting a lot of group photos on Instagram was part of it.

And frankly, they were no longer the media’s focus when it came to Dance Dance Dance. Reyna-san and her husband took the spot, mostly because their dancing got much more heated around the time when rumours about Reyna-san being cheated on spread. The fans seemed absolutely furious and were clearly determined to make the poor actress win, so that she would have at least one good memory from the show.

“It is a bit heartwarming, isn’t it, Akaashi?” Bokuto asked during a short break on Thursday, right after Washio relayed the story to the whole group. Washio’s girlfriend was a real expert on gossip, it seemed, for she kept him updated about everyone and everything.

“That the whole world feels invested in her private affairs?” Akaashi looked and sounded disinterested, but Bokuto knew better. Akaashi was bitter.

“No, that they want to help her! It is one thing to have support of your friends, but to know that hundreds of people feel for you and want to help you is a bit cool, right?”

Akaashi shook his head with resignation, but Bokuto noticed the small curve of his lips.

“Until you are the victim to the public eye, they are lovely. But take one step out of the line and you turn into the worst enemy.” Kokomi said, while taking selfie with Shirofuku.

“Yes, and sometimes you don’t deserve everything thrown your way. Maybe he isn’t cheating on her, but since everyone thinks he is, she is going to start thinking he is and boo, the public destroyed their marriage!” Komi supplied, photo-bombing the girls.

“Not necessarily.” Akaashi’s voice was calm, but somehow it cut through the joyful atmosphere and made everyone somber.

“Of course, it is horrible and puts a lot of pressure on the relationship, but whether you fall apart or not is your choice. “

“Sometimes it is not a choice. When someone cheats on you, are you supposed to stay with them?” Bokuto didn’t know what made him ask that, but there it was, out in the open.

“That is up to you, but it is worth asking yourself why the person cheated in the first place.”

“Excuse me?”

“People act the way they do for a reason.  I’m not saying it is the abandoned spouse’s fault that they got cheated on…”

“It sure sounds like it, Akaashi.”

Akaashi shot him an annoyed glance.

“Maybe if you let me finish…”

“Finish what? Cheating is the worst misuse of trust and there is no excuse for it! You just cannot do that to a person you proclaim to love!”

“Of course you can’t! Bokuto-san, all I’m saying is, communication is what a relationship should be built on! And firstly, one shouldn’t judge their relationship by opinions of others, and secondly, there is a possibility that there is something missing, something lacking in a relationship and if the two people involved could communicate properly then…”

“Then what, one person would suddenly stop being a douchebag?!” All of the dancers were looking at him, Bokuto knew, but he really didn’t care. He was just so angry, he thought Akaashi was on his side, that he would always be on his side and to hear him… Excuse infidelity? That was unexpected.

“No, Bokuto-san. But you are clearly not listening to a thing I say, so any further argument is invalid.” And with that, Akaashi wasn’t looking at him anymore.

“Right, I think we should get back to the practice, don’t you think?” Konoha announced, shooting a worried glance at Akaashi. Asshole, he was the one who made Akaashi so strange about relationships.

 Akaashi shrugged and moved to the back row, seemingly unperturbed.

Lady Gaga’s _Born this Way_ started to play and Bokuto forced himself to move to the music. Yet the cheerful beat which he so enjoyed before now simply irritated him.

Why was Akaashi so adamant at defending cheaters? Was he a cheater too? Would he leave Bokuto for someone better when he can and then tell everyone he wasn’t at fault, there was something missing in the relationship, something lacking… No, Akaashi wasn’t like that, but it truly sounded like he was…

“Bokuto, can you please stop frowning? This is a happy song.” Konoha interjected and Bokuto sent him a glare. Really, was the choreographer unaware of the turmoil he caused? Was he unaware how his words still affected Akaashi, how the shadow of his disappointment kept on looming over Akaashi even still? And suddenly, it hit Bokuto.

Konoha was the one who made Akaashi think that the one left behind was to blame, wasn’t he? Akaashi wanted to be friends with Konoha, so he took all of the blame for their failed affair on himself. And condemning cheaters somehow equaled condemning Konoha? Was that it? Was Akaashi blaming himself for his lack of communication? Did he think he deserved being left? Oh, no, not on Bokuto’s watch.

Until the end of the practice, Bokuto kept on shooting glances at Akaashi, trying to decide how to approach him.Was he angry? Hurt? Was he as disappointed as Bokuto felt in the beginning?

Bokuto welcomed Konoha’s ‘That’s it for today’ with a sigh of relief.

He said goodbye to the dancers and ignored Konoha’s warning glare. He liked Konoha, but right now he wasn’t his biggest fan.

Thankfully, Akaashi was standing next to the door, not showing any signs of leaving.

“Akaashi, I…”

“This time, let me go first, Bokuto-san.” Oh, no. He was going to be rejected, right?

“Oh… Alright.”

“I’ve been thinking about everything you told me and let me be clear – I wasn’t speaking about your parent’s marriage. I shouldn’t have taken part in this discussion at all, especially since you told me about your father. So, I apologize. I couldn’t put my thoughts into my words properly and I hurt you, again.”

Damn, Akaashi was always so… grown-up.  It was almost irritating, because this way Bokuto couldn’t even get angry properly.  

“It makes it difficult to be angry at you, Akaashi, when you get angry at yourself on someone’s behalf. I’m not saying I want to shout at you, but let me voice what I’m feeling from now on, alright?”

Akaashi just blinked.

“I think you are trying to protect yourself by guessing what the other person feels and you kick yourself over it on your own, so it hurts less, but Akaashi, sometimes I will be angry at you. And sometimes you will be angry at me, and that is normal! I’ve never been in a relationship before and I am still learning, but for you, I want to! But to see you punish yourself so that I cannot is both heart-breaking and frustrating!”

“I’m sorry, Bokuto-san, I didn’t realize…” Bokuto felt his lips move into a sincere grin.

“Nah, it’s alright! We are both learning, after all! Just… Don’t feel things for me and don’t take the blame every time! This time it was me who was at fault, I got angry because as you’ve said, I wasn’t listening properly to what you were saying! I thought you said that cheating was okay and that made me angry, but… that was not what you said, not really.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Akaashi’s expression looked lost all of a sudden. He wasn’t used to not being the rational one, it seemed. It was adorable, so Bokuto pulled him into a hug.

“What you were actually saying was that you feel that the person who was left behind could have or should have tried harder… You were talking about yourself, weren’t you?”

“You are awfully perceptive, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi was wearing a small smile on his face now, so this counted as a success.

“Nah, I just think about you a lot.”

And he moved to kiss the man in his arms, pleasantly surprised to meet no resistance at all.

He wasn’t complaining.

Everything seemed to stop and there were just the two of them and the heat of their lips and…

And a sound of door being opened.

“Hey, Bokuto, you didn’t leave so we came to see if…” The voice trailed off. Bokuto jumped away from Akaashi, looking in panic and Komi, trying to come up with a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why he was kissing Akaashi, who was just his friend and oh, hell, he couldn’t keep a secret for two weeks, but this was Komi, and, oh no, behind him stood Washio and…

“Oh. Pay up, man. They are together.” Komi said, turning to Washio who sighed.

“We are not together.” Bokuto said, at the same time Akaashi said “You are mistaken.”

“The boy doth protest too much, don’t you think, Washio?” The tall dancer only nodded.

“Sooo, we clearly came here to cheer you up after you had a public fight with your beloved Akaashi, but you seem to be doing quite alright…”

Akaashi turned to Bokuto, a calculating look in his eyes. Bokuto gulped.

“They knew?”

“About?”

“You and… your feelings?”

Bokuto looked at Komi, who was very busy whistling and looking at the ceiling. Washio met Bokuto’s gaze head on and simply nodded.

“Yeah.. Kinda.”

“By ‘kinda’ he means we had to listen to him wax poetics about you on more than one occasion.” Komi supplied, the asshole. “And we were keeping our fingers crossed for you man, we thought you were being heartbroken, but apparently arguments are like foreplay to you two, who would have thought…”

“Bokuto-san, who else knows?”

“Kuroo… Kenma, obviously, Kokomi? I think Ennoshita suspects and Konoha keeps on glaring at me for no reason so…”

“I need a drink. Right now.”

*

This evening found the four of them in a bar not far away from Bokuto’s flat. Komi and Washio insisted on accompanying them because that way it would be ‘less suspicious’ and ‘paparazzi wouldn’t care’ and also ‘your love life is exhausting, Bokuto, let us live a little’. Akaashi was quiet but he didn’t protest.

It was the first time Bokuto was out with Akaashi since their volleyball session,so he was determined to enjoy himself.

Unfortunately, Akaashi seemed determined to end his night early.

“Maybe slow down a bit?” Bokuto suggested and Akaashi sent him a dead-stare.

“Bokuto-san, my life doesn’t make much sense at the moment, let me at least decide how much alcohol I want to consume.”

Komi snickered.

“He gets that way sometimes, but he will be alright.”

After another hour, Akaashi was decidedly not alright, for he was sleeping on the table.

“Aww, he was so stressed.” Komi cooed and Washio hit him in the ribs.

“Let the poor man sleep. You barged in on a private moment and embarrassed him.”

“Hey, you were there with me!”

“Didn’t want to.” Komi pouted and turned to Bokuto.

“So, what’s your deal? You are not together, but you were very clearly kissing, so, what gives?”

Bokuto shoot a glance at Akaashi’s prone form.

“Well… We decided to wait until the Olympics and remain friends until then but we clearly… fail at that.”

“Clearly.”

“It’s just… Frustrating, you know? He is the first person I’ve felt so strongly about and we cannot just be together because of some stupid prejudices. I know that people in sports are under much higher scrutiny than celebrities, but still. Does it matter who I date, as long as I am the best on the court?”

“It shouldn’t.” Washio replied.

“I know! And with the chaos Daishou orchestrated with this show we are under scrutiny and frankly, I would prefer to win because I’m good, not because Japan was so invested in my love life.”

“Well said!, I’ll drink to that!” The three of them raised their glasses and while they did, Komi managed to take a selfie.

The three of them, drinking happily and Akaashi sleeping. It was a bit adorable, so Bokuto asked for Komi to share the picture. That would be a historical evidence of their first quasi-date.

Komi posted it on Twitter with a caption _Boys night out!_

“So, are you ready to wait until the Olympics? To be unsure whether our local pretty boy hasn’t been snatched by anyone else?”

“Komi. You are being obnoxious.”

“Hey. I do not have any love life at the moment and I need love to live!”

Washio just sighed.

“No, I think… I think that this state of things cannot continue. I think someone should finally introduce a change. And that someone might be me.”

Washio and Komi exchanged surprised glances.

“You are going to overthrow the government? For Akaashi? That’s romantic, Bokuto, I’m so proud of you!!!” Komi exclaimed and promptly waved the waiter over to order more drinks.

For a moment, Bokuto entertained the idea, himself in a badass suit, shooting arrows right and left, rallying people to stand up and fight, the crowds shouting his name and Akaashi in his arms, swooning.  But that would mean Akaashi would be tortured at some point and turned against him, and he would have PTSD, and to be frank, Bokuto was awful with archery but had no idea how to overthrow the government with a Mikasa volleyball and a killer spike.

“Not really, but… I am not the only sportsman that likes men and really, can Japan afford losing so many talented people just because they don’t fit the image of a perfect family?”

“It can’t. And you are the most talented person I know, Bokuto-san, they cannot afford to lose you and they know it.” Akaashi murmured and immediately fell asleep again.

Bokuto was so touched he could cry.

“Did you hear that? He thinks I am the best!”

“Not what he said”

“People will accept me if I come out!”

“Not sure it works that way.”

“No, but come on! If I give a heart-felt interview telling them how much we have suffered because of this show and attitudes towards gay people then people will realize that it is not okay and they will…”

“...Take you off the team because they will think you want publicity and that you are trying to become a celebrity.” Washio interjected and Komi nodded.

“One person giving an interview is nothing, just a cry for attention. You would have to have a team, like Gay Avengers to speak out at the same time, only then would it make any impact.”

Bokuto was opening his mouth to reply to Komi’s idea and call it ridiculous, but the waiter arrived with their drinks.

They thanked the man and Komi’s phone pinged.

“Oh, look, Kokomi relied to my tweet!” Her, Komni shoved his phone at Bokuto’s face. There was a photo of Kokomi and Shirofuku, raising their drinks with Suzumeda sleeping on the table in a position similar to Akaashi’s. _I raise you girl’s night out! @Komiyan. Is the corpse Akaashi?_

_@Komi-chan~ ~ - Since we will be dumping the body in the forest, I refuse to give any details._

“I think Kokomi would speak on your behalf, she has influence and people know you are at least friends, they will listen to her.” Washio suggested.

“Yeah, and all you need to do is find some more gay sportsmen who will be ready to come out in public and say that making people abandon their identity to play sports is not okay. You know, Gay Avengers.”

It made Bokuto think about Kuroo. Kuroo was definitely a person who was hurt by the system and he might be willing to talk to the media. His story was heart-breaking enough to gather sympathy and maybe, just maybe he would be finally able to be with Kenma, like he had always wanted.

“Guys, it might work! I can get people to talk and together we will make people see! If they can rally for Reyna-san because she suffers, they can rally for us!”

“To Gay Avengers Initiative!” Cried Komi.

“To Gay Avengers Initiative!”

*

The evening ended up with their trio being politely asked to leave for causing disturbance with their enthusiastic shouting.

Bokuto took it upon himself to deliver Akaashi to somewhere safe. And if that place was his own house, then, well…

Thankfuly, Kuroo was already asleep when Bokuto arrived at their shared flat. Akaashi regained consciousness along the way, but he was dead on his feet so Bokuto insisted on him staying the night.

“I will give you my bed, just let me find you something to sleep in and you are all set!”

“You don’t need to, Bokuto-san, really.”

“Hush you, you are my secret-boyfriend thing, let me love you.”

“Okay.”

Bokuto rummaged through his things and finally found some old t-shirt with two owls hugging. How fitting. He also found the some pants that didn’t look that they would fall off Akaashi right after he put them on (although that was quite an image to entertain).

He brought them to the bedroom.

Akaashi looked like he was conscious only because he really wished to be.

“Here you go. Change and go to sleep, do you need to get up at specific time?

“At seven?” Akaashi hazarded a guess and Bokuto vowed to set his alarm clock at six, just in case.

“Alright. Goodnight!”

“Goodnight. I really love you, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto’s poor heart couldn’t take it.

He kissed Akaashi’s forehead (because consent mattered, no matter the amount of alcohol ingested) and left the room before he could do something more stupid, like crawl into bed with Akaashi and spoon him senseless.

He left the bedroom and flopped on the couch, trying to keep his mind from racing.

He failed.

*

He was woken up by Kuroo’s panicked shriek at precisely four in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And only one chapter to go, yay!
> 
> Apparently, Japan doesn't have a problem with homosexual celebrities aqand actors, but sportsmen are a bit different. I don't know if that is true, it's just what my Google research told me, but hey, this is fanfiction, let's roll with it!
> 
> The title is from Lady Gaga's Born This Way
> 
> And look at Bokuto growing up and getting self-aware!


	10. Let Me Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, it's finally the end!
> 
> This is the longest chapter of them all, but truly, it was a shame to divide it into more chapters, so I hope you will survive.

He got up as soon as he heard the shout and rushed to his bedroom, the source of the disturbance. There he was, Kuroo in all of his pyjama-clad glory, his face a perfect picture of horror, his gaze unmoving, staring into something on the bed.

When Bokuto followed Kuroo’s line of sighed and was met with Akaashi’s very unimpressed glare.

“What happened here?”

“Kuroo-san threw himself at me.”

“Akaashi tried to kill me”

Bokuto rubbed his temples. And here he was, hoping Kuroo and Akaashi could grow to like each other.

“I got up to get some water and heard shuffling from your bedroom. I figured you came back from the drinking, to which you forgot to invite me, by the way, and wanted to wake you up so that we could be miserable and sleep-deprived together.” Kuroo explained, still glaring daggers at Akaashi “And next thing I know, someone punched me in the ribs and kicked me off the bed.”

“You jumped on me, Kuroo-san.”

“And you went full Lady Shiva on me!”

“Breakfast?” Bokuto offered, a hint of panic in his voice. This wasn’t how the morning was supposed to go.

Both Kuroo and Akaashi made noises of agreement, so Bokuto moved towards the kitchen, racking his brain to come up with some solution to this little drama. It was too early to do that, so the only thing Bokuto was able to do was to put the kettle on. He wondered what could he serve as breakfast and settled for rice with soy sauce and eggs. Simple, easy and didn’t require using too much loud equipment. Considering how much Akaashi had drunk the night before, he wouldn’t appreciate much noise.

Bokuto was busy putting rice into the bowl, when he heard someone’s footsteps.

“Let me tell you, it is going to be hard to pretend I don’t know about you two after I found him in your bed, that’s for sure.” Kuroo drawled from the doorway, already dressed up.

“You apparently knew about us either way, just like the majority of our mutual friends, so feel free to stop pretending.” Akaashi replied from behind him, clearly no longer asleep but with wet hair. He must have gone to the bathroom and put his head under the cold stream to wake himself up.

He looked a bit murderous and Bokuto found himself falling in love a little more.

“You would look adorable in this shirt if it wasn’t for that scowl on your face.” Kuroo teased, hostility gone from his voice. Which meant that Kuroo was awake for good and finding this whole situation hilarious.

Bokuto allowed himself to smile too. Two of his favourite people in his kitchen at four in the morning, what a better way to start a day!

He poured a mug of tea for Akaashi and was met with a grateful look. Bokuto’s heart melted a bit more.

He handed Kuroo his mug of coffee and accepted following words of gratitude with a nod.

Then Bokuto sat down with his own mug of tea, handed out the bowls and waited.

As he sat at the head of the table, with Akaashi on his left and Kuroo to his right, Bokuto felt as if he was some kind of Godfather, beginning the family meeting.

 “You probably wonder why I gathered you in this room...” He began, his voice as deep and sinister as he could muster. Akaashi and Kuroo exchanged an exasperated look. Good, they were getting along already!

“Since Akaashi is a guest I’m giving him the right to correct you in the most sarcastic way possible.” Kuroo said, giving Akaashi the ‘go ahead’ gesture. Akaashi’s lips quirked a bit.

“Offer appreciated, Kuroo-san. Bokuto-san... If getting me drunk and waking up Kuroo-san just in time to stumble upon me was your plan all along then you must be some kind of an evil genius an I don’t think I will make a good Harley Quinn.” Akaashi deadpanned and Bokuto’s mood brightened.

“It almost sounds like you will still date me, you know?”

“I would.” Akaashi said, immediately.”I will?” He corrected, his voice suddenly unsure. “If you still want to date me, I mean, it was me who told you we couldn’t date after all, so I’d understand...”

“Are you kidding?! Of course I want to date you, Akaashi! This is the best thing I’ve heard today! But what made you change your mind?”

“Should I be present for this conversation?” Kuroo asked in the background, but Bokuto could focus only on Akaashi. Was he still drunk? Did he hear the conversation with Komi and Washio? What was going on? Of course, Bokuto was overjoyed, but Akaashi didn’t seem like a person who changed their mind easily.

Akaashi took a deep breath.

“Everyone around us knows, as it turned out yesterday. And nothing happened, no one said anything to the media or Daishou. Which means all we have accomplished was making ourselves miserable with being together but separate. Aside from that, we’ve been lying to people who actually cared about us and to ourselves.” Akaashi said and took Bokuto’s hand in his own.

“I still think my concerns were legitimate and we shouldn’t run around and tell everyone that we are together, but... we failed at keeping away from each other.”

“Spectacularly.” Kuroo added, unhelpfully.

“And I will still be anxious that you might finally decide that I am not at all what you imagined, but waiting in this limbo is worse than not knowing. So I want us to try. As long as that is what you want, Bokuto-san.”

“Of course it is! Akaashi, you don’t know yet how much you mean to me, but you will! Even if it takes a whole lifetime I will make you see how amazing you are! Not as a dancer, everyone knows you are the best, but as a person too!” Bokuto’s voice came out unnecessarily loud and he could see the way Akaashi winced. So he tried to reign in his enthusiasm and continued in a more subdued manner.

“I’m in love with you and I plan to be in love with you for a very long time, Akaashi. I know, we still have a lot to learn about each other, but I’d love to take that chance.” He finished.

Akaashi’s eyes looked a bit wet and Bokuto was ready to kiss the tears away, he leaned closer to Akaashi and his lips almost touched Akaashi’s cheek, when Kuroo slammed his mug down on the table.

“Alright lovebirds, you are cute and brave and very much in love, I can see that, but you are forgetting why you decided to stay apart, so may I remind you – the Olympics! Bokuto, I know you have a romantic soul, but the sponsors might be awful. The Olympic Committee can be worse than Daishou. Is that a chance you are willing to take? To throw everything away for a chance it might work between you two?” Kuroo’s voice wasn’t accusatory, no. It was full of compassion. That made it hard to be angry at him, even though his words stung.

“I know that this is not what you want to hear, but are you sure your relationship is and will be strong enough to waver the storm? That even if Bokuto loses his place on the team, will both of you be able to say ‘it was worth it’? What if you break up within a year? What if you break up because of that?”

Akaashi lowered his eyes, but didn’t take his hand from Bokuto’s grasp. He was waiting for Bokuto’s decision, it seemed.

“Kuroo, I really appreciate the concern. I know you have our best interest at heart and that’s why you are my best bro, but we are not going to wait for them to figure us out. I’m going to tell the media myself.”

“WHAT?!” Kuroo and Akaashi shouted in unison.

Bokuto put his entwined hands under his chin, his lips stretched in a wide smile.

“And now I will tell you about the Gay Initiative.”

Their breakfast got cold at the table, long forgotten as they talked untile the sun rose up and shone its way to the kitchen. 

*

Bokuto and Kokomi had to leave the competition just before the final.

They accepted their third place with grace and a lot of laughter.

“Do you feel sad?” Yachi asked them and they both shared a look.

“No, not really. I mean, it was great fun and I think I’ve made many good friends here, but frankly, I’m looking forward to relaxing at home and watching the next episode with popcorn and feet under the blanket instead of aching and swollen.” Kokomi replied, giving Yachi a friendly smile.

“What about you, Bokuto-san?”

“Oh, I can say for sure, this competition has changed my life and of course I’d love to win, because, hello, I am an athlete and competitive at that, but I think what I feel right now, is relief. It’s great to get back your private life.” Bokuto definitely felt relief.  He had actually hoped that this would be their last day on the show. He was brimming with excitement to finally be free of the contract with Daishou and to talk to media on his own terms.

Not to mention that practicing _Let Me Love You_ with Akaashi was... nerve-wracking. Or maybe romantic? Ironic? Very fitting? Bokuto didn’t know how to describe it, but since their talk a week ago, evening sessions with Akaashi got... interesting, to say the least. They still couldn’t exactly go out on dates, not until they completed the Plan. So they met in the dancing studio and if they actually managed to dance the routine more than two times, then it was a very productive dancing session indeed.

“Who are you rooting for?” Yachi was asking both of them, but Bokuto shrugged. He didn’t pay much attention to their rivals, to be honest, especially since Oikawa and Kuroo were out of the competition.

“I think Reyna-san worked the hardest and she definitely deserves to win, but at the same time, I am all for rooting for the underdog, so I’m a bit more in favour of Izanami-san and her sister. They are both wonderful people and they seem to have a lot of fun with this show, so why not?” Kokomi replied and Bokuto shot her a look of gratitude.

Yachi thanked them and left them to their devices.

“Hey, are you really going to do it?” Kokomi whispered and Bokuto stumbled on his feet.

“Do what?”

“The interview...”

“How do you know?!” Bokuto could feel the panic rising in his veins. Did he tell her and forgot about it? Oh, he was the worst at keeping secrets, wasn’t he? Akaashi was going to kill him!

“Oh, Akaashi-san told me. We had a nice talk about this whole mess I’ve created, I went to apologize to him, I don’t know, I was sure it was going to be our last day on the show so I wanted to have some closure, or something. And he told me about your plan and let me tell you... I am impressed. And I want in.”

“Huh?”

Kokomi leaned in to whisper into Bokuto’s ear.

“I want to be a part of this interview too. I am a Gay Avenger in a way, am I not? I did have a crush on Shirofuku-san.”

“And you don’t have one now?” Bokuto whispered back.

Kokomi sighed sadly.

“No, she is taken. But Ennoshita-san is not, so you, know, my drama solved itself.” She told him and they shared a private smile.

And then someone cleared their throat behind them.

“Oh, how touching. I’m glad you find solace in each other after this loss.”

Bokuto turned to see Daishou with his usual snake-smile on his face.

“Ennoshita, did you get that? The last moments of the wonderful two, plans for the future maybe?” And true, behind Daishou there stood Ennoshita, but his face wasn’t apologetic like it had been all these weeks ago. Right now, his face was determined and his camera was hanging off his hand, clearly not recording anything.

“No. “

Daishou’s self-satisfied expression was disturbed by a shock of surprise.

“What did you say?” He asked, his tone deceptively calm as he turned to face Ennoshita.

The poor cameraman’s hands were shaking, but he held his ground.

“Bokuto-san and Kokomi-san are no longer competitors. Their contract with the studio is finished and I don’t have to film them anymore.” Ennoshita replied and his voice didn’t waver.

“Oh is that so...?” Daishou hissed and made a move towards Ennoshita, when someone shouted ‘enough’.

Bokuto knew this voice all too well.

Their little group drew attention and somehow attracted Akaashi and Kenma, who moved over to stand between Ennoshita and Daishou.

“Akaashi, what a surprise to see you here... Visiting anyone?” Daishou said, his voice sweet and deadly. But Akaashi wasn’t moved.

“Hardly your business, Daishou-san.” Akaashi replied. “You’ve had your fun with us, you’ve made a lot of money out of all of us, but that’s enough. That’s as far as you go.”

“I am done with you when I decide I’m done with you!” Daishou snarled and made a grab for Akaashi, but Bokuto was faster. No one touched Akaashi, not without Akaashi’s permission.

He caught the producer’s hand and squeezed with as much strength as he could muster.

“We are all kind and easy-going people, but there are limits. I think you’ve mistaken our patience with your attics for weakness. Big mistake.” Bokuto informed, his voice level. Daishou looked like he wanted to argue, but before he could say anything, Kenma’s quiet voice stopped him.

“You really don’t want to pursue this. The contract protected you, but it’s over and I am sure Kokomi-san has better lawyers than you do.”

Daishou’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Kokomi was on it! All I did was help her with her career!” He shouted, gathering the attention of the whole Green Room. The contestants, their coaches and back-up dancers, as well as few crew members and reporters were looking in their direction.

Kokomi straightened her back and walked up to look Daishou in the eye.

“You used my problems as an excuse to cause chaos and manipulate people, including me. Do you really want me to repeat my version in the court?”

Daishou’s expression changed.

He looked lost.

“Quit while you are ahead, enjoy your profit from the show and leave us alone.” Bokuto added.

The producer pulled his arm from Bokuto’s grip. His eyes kept on darting from one person to another, as if he had never even entertained the idea of an open mutiny.

“I can destroy you!” He finally spat out, pointing at Akaashi.

Akaashi just shrugged.

“If that what makes you sleep at night. Right now the only person causing drama is you and I think I’ve just seen Haiba Alisa muttering something into her recorder. If anyone is making the newspapers tomorrow it’s not going to be us.”

“We shall see.” Daishou replied and finally walked away.

Everyone let put a collective sigh of relief.

“That was stressful.” Kenma said in a perfect monotone.

“Stressful? I thought he was going to kill us!” Kokomi confessed, her strict posture wavering. Ennoshita was there to stabilize her in an instant.

“Nice going, Ennoshita! You destroyed him there!” Bokuto cheered.

Ennoshita smiled in embarrasment.

“I was rehearsing this moment for weeks, to be honest. I actually hoped he would pull something like that, so I could actually do something to atone for that footage...” Here, Ennoshita sent Akaashi a hopeful glance.

“You were splendid.”

Damn, Bokuto was proud of Ennoshita, but hearing Akaashi praise someone else was not cool.

“Hey, what about me, Akaashi? Was I dashing and manly? Was I the worthy alpha owl, did I defend you properly?”

Akaashi blinked.

“Alpha owl?”

“Koutarou lives under the delusion that his crazy hair gives him right to call himself an owl. Ignore him.”

“Cold, Kenma, cold.”

Kokomi and Ennoshita burst out with laughter.

“No, Kenma-san, that explains so much... The mating ritual of an owl is to preen in front of their perspective mate and screech loudly. I must confess I see some similarities.”

Kokomi laughed harder.

Bokuto pouted.

“What are you doing here, Kenma?” Switching the topic sounded like the best option, really. Bokuto didn’t have to beg for Akaashi’s praise in front of everyone. He would do that later, though.

“Me and Kuroo were sitting in the audience. I came here to talk to Akaashi and we noticed you causing a scene, so we joined in the fray.” Kenma explained and turned his attention back to his phone.

“I think we are ready to leave this studio, don’t you think?” Akaashi suggested and smiled. Alright, he was forgiven. A little.

Their group was well on their way to the exit, ready to start their new lives with no stress over a simple TV show, when they heard someone’s rapid footsteps.

Tsukishima was running.. no, it was Tsukishima, so he was probably power-walking, or something, he was too cold to run like a normal human being, now that Bokuto thought about it, but that wasn’t important, what was important was the fact that Tsukishima was smirking.

“I’ve just seen our producer shouting at his assistant something about damned homos and pink idiot idols and I don’t know what you did, but really, thank you, this is the best day I’ve had on this job, and I have seen para para dancers in a catfight, so you know.”

“Oh, we plan to piss off even more people in the future, so be ready.”

Tsukishima only blinked at them, but their whole group left before he could say anything else. They were supposed to meet Kuroo at the restaurant and apparently Kokomi and Ennoshita were joining them. So were Komi, Washio and the rest, because somehow they got themselves invited via texting with Akaashi and it seemed that paparazzi were going to have the time of their lives tonight.

But not for long!

“Bokuto-san.” They were a little behind the rest of the group, Ennoshita and Kokomi talking animatedly and Kenma engrossed in his phone, presumably texting with Kuroo, so they were basically alone in this backstage corridor and it only now hit Bokuto that they could do anything. They could hold hands and there was nothing Daishou could do to them now. It got Bokuto nervous.

“Yes?”Akaashi stopped and took Bokuto’s hand in his own. It would take a long time for Bokuto’s heart to get used to casual signs of affection, it seemed, for it kept on beating like crazy.

“You were amazing out there. Standing up to Daishou like that...  You truly are the alpha owl.” Akaashi finished with a smile and planted a small kiss on Bokuto’s cheek.

Akaashi was the best and Bokuto was going to date him forever.

*

The interview they have managed to schedule was a week later. Since they didn’t know if Bokuto and Kokomi would go through to the final or not it seemed like a better idea, but the waiting was killing Bokuto. While everyone and Kuroo especially agreed that the way they all stood up to Daishou was movie-finale worthy, Bokuto still felt uneasy. What if Daishou managed to give an interview before them?

Akaashi once said that he had not given an interview after that whole affair with his partner kissing him and divorcing her husband, because to the public there is a difference between ‘coming clean’ and ‘being smoked out’ and that people looked more favourably on the former not at the latter and they had so much riding on this interview...

To put it short, Bokuto was a mess.  He cursed himself for being so damn carefree with this idea and now he had all of his team involved and he was so underprepared that it was going to kill him and then Akaashi would be the beautiful widow and he would probably shed a tear for Bokuto but then, he was so pretty that he would have suitors right after the funeral and Bokuto would have to look at this from heaven and he would know it was his fault and...

“Bokuto-san. First of all, we are not married so I can’t be a widow, secondly, we are prepared and the team is ready to support you through all of this and thirdly, don’t look at me like this, I do not read minds, you were just muttering all of this out loud.” Akaashi said, sitting next to Bokuto on the couch and handing him a steaming mug of cocoa.

They were sitting in Akaashi’s living room and they had been watching a movie, but then Akaashi got up to get them something to drink and Bokuto spiralled into whatever that was. Panic-mode?

“Hey, Akaashi, can we talk?”

Akaashi nodded.

“It’s just... This week was the best week of my life. I could meet up with you after the volleyball practice, we hang out in your apartment, we had dinner at my place with Kuroo and Kenma and it was what I wanted for so long... But now I’m worried that tomorrow will change everything!”

“Why do you think so?”

“What if the reporters don’t take to us favourably? What if the public turns against us, what if the whole team ends up fired because they supported me? What if they give us an ultimatum and you decide to walk away for my good? I don’t want that, Akaashi, and now I’m thinking, maybe we should have waited, maybe we should have stayed a secret, even though that was awful too and I just... I just want the world to let us be, Akaashi. Is that too much?”  Bokuto’s voice was wavering a bit, he knew that, but he really couldn’t care now, not when all of his fears were out in the open and Akaashi was... Akaashi was hugging him. His arms were around Bokuto’s neck and he was so warm...

“Bokuto-san. Listen to me now very carefully. Even if people stop liking you, even if the Internet goes crazy and demands your head on a pike, your team will be there with you. They will shout and riot if they have to, so you won’t be losing volleyball. And I’ve already told you, I will be with you until you tell me to go away.” Akaashi’s voice was calm as always, but this time it was also tender, intimate even. It reminded Bokuto of all those nights they have spent dancing together, unsure of their feelings, unsure of themselves, but still drawn towards each other.

Oh, how far they have come in these few weeks.

Alright, few months now that Bokuto counted properly.

Still, here they were, sitting together on Akaashi’s couch.

And they were happy.

And the world wasn’t going to change that.

*

**Tanaka Saeko’s Private Lounge featuring Men’s Volleyball Team**

“Hello dear viewers! It’s me, Saeko-chan and here in my studio we have our men’s volleyball team! Say hello, guys!”

_The audience cheers, the camera pans on the group of men, all lounging on the sofas in the studio. One of them, Kageyama Tobio, a reserve setter stands straight behind the sofas, little Hinata Shouyou, also reserve, sits at the sofa’s backrest so he can remain visible._

_The whole volleyball team waves._

“So, you’ve had some interesting months, didn’t you? With three of you joining a dancing competition, the whole media storm about Bokuto’s alleged love affair with either Kokomi-chan or one of the male back-up dancers, this team has been in the spotlight for a long time. Is this why you have finally decided to talk to your fans with me as your mediator _?” Saeko asks and the camera turns to Oikawa, the usual spokesman of the team._

_Instead of Oikawa it is Bokuto who answers._

“Yes, in a way. You see, me, Kuroo and Oikawa had a lot of fun during the contest and we have certainly learned a lot, but there is more we would like to talk about here than rumours. We want to talk about the strain of being a public person.”

_Saeko raises her eyebrows, but waits._

 “You see, there is some truth in what the media was going on about. I had fallen in love during that show and I can proudly say that I am no longer single, sorry fans everywhere.” _Here, Bokuto winks at the camera which is trained on his face._

“Oh? So you and Kokomi-chan are truly more than close friends?” _Saeko smiles in a friendly manner, and Bokuto visibly takes a deep breath._

 _“_ Oh, no. We are good friends and she is watching this interview right now, so we can wave and say hi.” _The whole team waves, so Saeko follows their lead._

“I finished the competition with a third place and the best boyfriend in the world.” _Saeko gasps. The team suddenly tenses._

“Those are very brave words, Bokuto-san, to be uttered in television.” _Saeko says, her smile long gone._

“I know, but you see, they shouldn’t be. Because of the reporters the first weeks of our relationship were pretty miserable. Because we were constantly worried that someone would see us and that it would result in me being taken off the team and... Really?” _Saeko nods, her face devoid of any emotion._

“Because it is sadly an option, things like that happened, where good athletes were asked to maybe break up with their significant others if they wanted to keep playing. I think this is awful, that we represent our country because we are the best at what we do, and then, suddenly, because we don’t love who we should, we are no longer the best, no longer needed.” _Bokuto continues and looks at Oikawa. The setter nods and the camera moves to capture his determined expression,_

“And frankly, it affects how we play. You hear a lot of footballers saying that they gave their best because their wives were in the audience, in the special sector so whenever a player felt lost, he could look up and there they would be, the greatest support you could hope for. And for us? Empty seats, because we can’t have our loved ones visible. Because people ‘might talk’. Of course, we have each other, we are a darn good team if you ask me, but it feels different to know that the person you love the most is here with you.” _Oikawa says and Saeko nods again, although her expression is that of a surprise._

“And frankly, we don’t want to take it any longer. We are not the only athletes who stand before this choice, to keep quiet and do what you love alone, or to fight for what you want, and this is us, fighting. We will play for Japan because it’s our country and we love it. But we would like some love in return. Let us be who we are without the constant scrutiny.” _Kuroo’s voice sounds even, but his expression betrays how much these words cost him._

_For a second, the studio is silent, with Seako visibly gathering her thoughts._

“I agree with everything you’ve just said and frankly, I’m impressed as _beep_.. ooops, we will have to edit it out later, but am I getting in correctly? Bokuto, Kuroo, Oikawa, the constant use of plural... You are coming out? The whole team? What are the odds?” _Saeko asks, and the team laughs._

“Yes, we are all coming out. Of course, not all of us are actually bi or homosexual, but you know what? I’d like our Olympic Committee to try and guess now which one of us was bluffing and which was not. “ _Oikawa says and flashes a challenging grin at the camera_.

“I was once told that if I keep on dating my boyfriend I will never be allowed to play volleyball on the Olympic level. Well, good luck with getting rid of me now, you would have to fire the whole team two months before the first match.” _Kuroo adds and Saeko laughs out loud._

“Oh, God, this is amazing! Do you think other teams would follow your lead?” _She finally manages._

“Oh, we hope so, after all it’s not like it’s volleyball that turned all of us gay, we are simply who we are. And hey, I can assure you, you will hear something from the idol corner soon enough, there are plenty of people who are as fed up with this whole oath of silence as we are.” _Bokuto replies and gives Kuroo a high-five._

“So you have decided to take the whole Olympics hostage... You guys rock!” _Saeko exclaims and genuine smiles appear on the players’ faces._

“We are not prepared to lose any player from our team. So either you take us all or you have to find yourself a whole new team in two months. And there are no better wing-spikers than me, Sakusa and Bokuto, there is certainly no better setter than Oikawa. Not yet, I am sure we will see some excellent players in the future, but right now, we are the best. And Japan cannot afford to lose us because of prejudice.” _Ushijima announces and everyone including Ushiijma’s teammates gape at him. Hinata falls backwards from the sofa and Kageyama has to help him up._

 _“_ Woah, I was sure you, Ushijima-san, were on the bluffing side of this team...” _Saeko remarks and Oikawa leans in to plant a quick kiss on Ushijima’s lips._

“Nah, he’s one of us, try again.” _Oikawa cheers and flashes a peace sign at the camera_.

“Take us or leave us, Japan, but if you chose us we promise you, we are going to bring you gold!”

*

The media are having the most busy time since the last tsunami, but Bokuto doesn’t care. They had a meeting with the Olympic Committee representatives who tried to convince them to somehow take back their words, but the team is stubborn and refuses to cooperate. Especially since their interview truly inspired a wave of similar ones, with swimmers, runners, basketball and football players joining the fray with confessions of their own. How they were threatened and silenced, how they were forbidden from playing because they gave a chocolate on Valentine’s to a teammate, things like that.

And the public is sympathetic, that’s the best part.

Of course, there are exceptions, there are hateful comments on the internet and petitions to flush out all the gays from sports, but they lack the strength to become truly hurtful. Even Daishou Suguru’s interview didn’t hurt as much as it could, mostly because his spite discouraged the viewers.

But Kokomi’s interview about her idol life, her transition into solo singer and her time _at Dance Dance Dance,_ her confession how she was used along with Bokuto and Akaashi to cause drama and attract viewers, how hurtful it was to all three of them, this interview sealed the deal.  

Especially since she gave it alongside Akaashi who finally got to tell his side of the story from years ago. People commented how sorry they felt for him, how angry they were at the media for what the two of them had to go through and how they deserved all the happiness in the world.

But for Bokuto, the best part of that particular interview is that:

“Akaashi-san, can you tell us, did you truly fall in love with Bokuto Koutarou during this show?”

And Akaashi smiles here, and Bokuto has watched this video countless times, so he knows this small smile, the affection it conveys, and then Akaashi says:

“No. I’ve been in love with him for a large part of my life. During the show I simply gave him the chance to finally love me back.” And he, Kokomi and the host laugh, but only Bokuto and Akaashi truly know the weight of these words.

Life is great.

The team changes for the better. They have been tight before, but coming out together keeps people together and the team finally learns that Iwaizumi is more to Oikawa than just a good friend (and that Oikawa had a lot of grovelling to do after kissing Ushiwaka on national TV), Ushijima finally confesses that he might be aromantic, which surprises absolutely nobody, and Hinata confesses to Kageyama, so the team is mostly a gay mess. The few straight guys left, like Sakusa or Daichi simply shake their heads at the attics and take photos of the whole team to post them on the internet with #GayAvengers hashtag, which starts trending.   

Kenma and Kuroo are finally back together and Bokuto lets Kuroo go so he can finally live with Kenma. God knows they both deserve it.

And he feels strangely good with this decision, even if apartment feels a bit too spacious and quiet now.

But Bokuto is not alone.

He can finally spend time with Akaashi.

He can finally date him in the broad daylight and he abuses that power with gusto.

He even poses for paparazzi while they stalk him and Akaashi throughout they date to the zoo. The papers love them, the photo with Akaashi saving Bokuto from a wild peacock becoming a nation-wide hit.

Life is truly wonderful.

(It gets even better when in August Bokuto and his team play in the finals. With Kenma and Akaashi watching them from the family sector, with the whole team as in sync as they have never been before, the ball hits the other side of the court, the referee whistles and here they are, the heroes of the world, with gold medals around their necks , happy as they have never been before, with their loved ones rushing towards them from the technical exist, and no gossip paper dares to take it away from them.

Bokuto moves in with Akaashi two weeks after the match.

After they unpack the last box, when the once tidy space fills with life and more owls than Bokuto could count at this point, Bokuto finally sighs and takes Akaashi by the hand.

“Dance with me, Keiji.”

And Akaashi smiles. He does that more often now, Bokuto notices.

“With pleasure, Koutarou. As always.”)

 THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it is a bit on the optimistic side and that this probably wouldn;t happen in a real life, but I do like happy endings from time to time and the whole team playing Gay Cluedo (Who? With Whom? Are They really?) with the Olympic Committee was something that I really wanted to write, so here we go. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading this story and for keeping me motivated through kudos and comments. Long fics are very hard to write regularly without any feedback, so the fact that this is finished is largely thanks to you. I do hope you liked the ending. 
> 
> If you want to shout at me/ fangirl about bokuaka, feel free to find me on tumblr, I am known as the-marron there as well. 
> 
> See ya!


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